https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/snwe0z/grsm_lgbtq_or_both/
created by Xid- on 08/02/2022 at 22:10 UTC
169 upvotes, 82 top-level comments (showing 25)
Hey guys! I've been on Reddit for a short time and I've stumbled upon GRSM (gender, romantic, and sexual minorities). I heard that it was more inclusive than LGBTQ+. What's your opinion and why, comment down below! Do you identify yourself with either community or both? As always, we love you in and out of the closet! š --Hail garlic bread
Comment by Rathama at 08/02/2022 at 22:28 UTC*
217 upvotes, 2 direct replies
For me LGBT+ and GRSM are interchangeable. GRSM is just a model that explains who belongs in the LGBT+ community.
That is how I think of it.
Comment by Lurkiiiiing at 08/02/2022 at 22:32 UTC
85 upvotes, 7 direct replies
i personally also like "SAGA" (sexuality and gender acceptance). i mostly use LGBTQ+ tho because i'm used to it
Comment by languidnights at 08/02/2022 at 23:50 UTC
82 upvotes, 3 direct replies
While I understand the problem GRSM (and MOGAI before it) are trying to solve, the LGBTQ+ community is well-known and understood (if not accepted) out in real-world spaces. If I say I'm LGBTQ+, people will get what I mean; if I use GRSM, I'm now explaining what that means *alongside* explaining asexuality to them. If we are going to change up our terms, I'd go with "the Queer Community" and anyone not cis-het if a part of it :-)
Comment by Uialgulhen at 09/02/2022 at 00:08 UTC
44 upvotes, 1 direct replies
In my opinion:
GRSM/MOGAI would be better, ideally, because it is more inclusive and more representative.
LGBTQIA+ is typically more practical, because GRSM/MOGAI are just not in common use, especially outside the community.
Personally, I prefer to use "queer", because it feels to me like it captures what binds the community together better, rather than trying to "enumerate" its components, which is always going to leave *someone* out somehow. However, I am aware that not everyone is alright with it.
I also occasionally just say LGBT when I am talking to some cishet people who really do not get queer stuff.
Comment by ThatRandomChick6 at 08/02/2022 at 22:59 UTC
16 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I actually made a similar series of polls to this one asking "Which do you think should be the standard?" with the options GRSM and LGBTQ+ (or any variation). My post granted was different in the fact that I did not have a 'both option' nor an 'other option' but figured this might be helpful to understand the landscape :). Of 1,872 responses across 11 subreddits 28.74% or 538 said they preferred GRSM and conversely 71.26% or 1,334 responses said they preferred LGBTQ+ or a variation thereof.
My conclusion through the polls and seeing comments is that very few people know about GRSM and the reason that a lot of people prefer LGBTQ+ is because that has been the common acronym for roughly 30 years. Whether it will change or not is not really something can speak to but excluding my opinion, it would not surprise me if it became the dominant term down the line.
Polls
r/trans poll[1], r/pansexual poll[2], r/LesbianActually poll[3], r/queer poll[4], r/BisexualTeens poll[5], r/asexuality poll[6], r/NonBinary poll[7], r/agender poll[8], r/askgaybros poll[9], r/genderfluid poll[10], r/intersex poll[11]
1: https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/comments/nox376/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
2: https://www.reddit.com/r/pansexual/comments/noxyg3/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
4: https://www.reddit.com/r/queer/comments/noxz9n/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
5: https://www.reddit.com/r/BisexualTeens/comments/noxxiy/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
6: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/nowzms/which_term_do_you_prefer/
7: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/nox3ol/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
8: https://www.reddit.com/r/agender/comments/npj07g/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
9: https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/npi4no/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
10: https://www.reddit.com/r/genderfluid/comments/npj2t4/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
11: https://www.reddit.com/r/intersex/comments/npiy6z/which_do_you_think_should_be_the_standard/
Comment by [deleted] at 08/02/2022 at 23:48 UTC
12 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I never heard of GRSM before today, but Iād probably identify as both communities
Comment by Audacious_Fluff at 08/02/2022 at 22:24 UTC
33 upvotes, 4 direct replies
LGBTQIA+ - to avoid ace/aro and intersex erasure
Comment by HeartlessAceofHearts at 08/02/2022 at 23:18 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I identify as both but prefer GRSM acronym
Comment by [deleted] at 08/02/2022 at 22:33 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Grsm
Comment by Bean_I_Am at 08/02/2022 at 23:08 UTC
7 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I typically just use LGBT+ but I find the alphabet army amusing
Comment by FoodForThought21 at 08/02/2022 at 23:28 UTC
7 upvotes, 2 direct replies
This is an interesting conversation! I havenāt heard of GRSM before, but maybe it is a better fit.
Since Iām a cis woman who is romantically interested in men, I just keep it simple and call myself straight except to a few trusted friends. I donāt want to come across as āhijackingā the LGBTQ+ movement when Iām privileged enough to have heterosexuality be my assumed orientation in a rigidly heteronormative/homophobic world. Also despite being included in the ā+ā, asexuality is unfortunately not always accepted as valid by even the LGBTQ+ community especially for ace people who seem āstraight passingā so to speak. Appearing heterosexual at first glance is a double-edged sword in that way. At least thatās my personal experience. Any thoughts on what kind of ace person qualifies for being part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Comment by AlexEvenstar at 09/02/2022 at 00:00 UTC
13 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I usually say that I'm a part of The Queer Community. The letters tend to get kind of tongue tied in my mouth. Primarily with LGBT QIA+ it feels like it runs on for a bit too long. Good acronyms imo are best at three or four letters unless used as a memorization tool. For GRSM, I primarily don't use it because if I were to bring it up people wouldn't know what I'm talking about.
Edit: My gf has heard of GRSM, but she said it sounds like a surgery lol
Comment by -Nubs- at 09/02/2022 at 01:08 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I prefer GRSM as it's shorter while still being inclusive. I always struggle with knowing how many letters of the LGBTQ+ acronym I should include when typing and worry if I should've made it longer. Maybe I should've included the I and A or both A's . Or maybe the 2 as well. But I don't want to type all of that out every time I need to use it, and I certainly don't want to have to say all of that every time either. It's pretty clunky. Maybe it's my anxiety talking, but trying to include everyone by adding on letter after letter doesn't seem like the best strategy and adds more difficulty to interactions for neurodivergent people. I also think that using queer more as a blanket term for anyone who doesn't fit the cishet standard would do a lot towards reclaiming the word, but I understand how some have reservations regarding that term.
Comment by TooneyChaos at 09/02/2022 at 01:52 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
A lot of exclusionists within the community (especially acephobes, panphobes, and TERFs) despise GRSM because of it being a more inclusive (or well, more explicitly inclusive) alternative, so yeah Iām definitely using GRSM xD
Also, LGBTQIA+ is still good, but Iāve personally gotten used to GRSM, especially since bots on YouTube delete comments that uses the word āLGBTā and any word associated. GRSM happens to be an acronym they havenāt gotten to, and I hope it stays that way (or, even better, YT decides to stop blocking those words).
Comment by andmagdo at 08/02/2022 at 23:03 UTC
9 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I think that these are good, but to build on grsm, I think of gamā gender and attraction minority. This covers tertiary attraction minorities as well ( I do not happen to be, but I see people who are aplatonic every so often in subs like this)
Comment by Yankiwi17273 at 09/02/2022 at 02:03 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
GRSM (maybe with a modification or two) I feel would be the better acronym just because it is more inclusive with fewer letters, but realistically, I normally end up using LGBTQIA+ just because that is what people are more familiar with.
Comment by orsimertank at 09/02/2022 at 02:48 UTC
4 upvotes, 2 direct replies
They're both acronyms that don't exactly roll off the tongue, which I'm not a fan of.
The arguments against GRSM that I've seen focus mainly on being wider than the queer community, such as unwanted possible inclusion of things like pedophilia that would technically fall under the umbrella definition as is. Another argument that comes up is that kink communities or polyamory could be included, but could be cishet and not part of a queer space (and that opens a whole new level of gatekeeping).
Frankly, they should just adopt a new word or phrase that's easy to say as a priority. I've been a fan of QUILTBAG for the five minutes I've known about it (queer/questioning, undecided, intersex, lesbian, trans, bi, asexual, gay). Of course, we could all just use "queer" as an umbrella term too.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/02/2022 at 04:26 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I like GRSM better than LGBTQ+ since it's more inclusive, but LGBTQ+ has more history behind it so its not like we can just abandon the label. I feel as though they can be used interchangeably. I hope GRSM becomes more popular because I'd totally use it instead of LGBTQ+
Comment by [deleted] at 09/02/2022 at 04:45 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by GalaxySea at 09/02/2022 at 06:05 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I like GRSM more since itās more inclusive and that way people donāt get to gatekeep lesser known orientations and claim that they arenāt real orientations or LGBTQ enough. But LGBTQ is more well known so I tend to use that instead.
Comment by SqueakSquawk4 at 08/02/2022 at 23:41 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
If I'm with friends then I'll just use queer since.inknow they'll be ok with it. When I'm with strangers then I'll use LGBTG+ because if someone doesn't understand queer they're hardly know that GSRM is.
Comment by ProductCapital76 at 09/02/2022 at 00:02 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Both, because they are basically different terms for the same thing. I understand why people feel GSRM is more inclusive than LGBTQIA+ community because there is sometimes a lot of gatekeeping. The whole "You don't face enough discrimination to be part of this community, blah blah blah" I find both very frustrating and hilarious because that sentiment in itself is discrimination towards a minority group.
Comment by mrstripperboots at 09/02/2022 at 02:20 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I've just heard of GRSM. Does it include all LGBT terms or ...?
Comment by xSky888x at 09/02/2022 at 04:03 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I definitely prefer GRSM, LGBTQIA+ is just too long and I hate having to say it and type it out. Most of the time I shorten it to LGBT+ but then I feel bad for leaving out the others. GRSM also doesn't have the "+" problem where people try and dictate what does and doesn't belong. Like if someone says LGB I have to sit there and wonder if they left the T off on purpose? Do they only know about the first three? Was it just a typo or is this person transphobic? It's an even bigger problem for anything other than the LGB and T, the A specifically is left off a lot and I never know if it's because the person just didn't want to write it all out (relatable) or if they're aphobic.
Unfortunately I don't think anyone outside of the community knows what GRSM is though. At least when I talk about LGBT+ stuff my parents and coworkers know what I'm talking about. I'd love to just switch to GRSM but I feel like I'd have to explain what it means a lot which would be more work than just spelling out LGBTQIA+.
I use both because they refer to the same community, one has less baggage but the other is much more recognizable.
Comment by Leesee109 at 09/02/2022 at 06:51 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Okokok but āhail garlic breadā got me š¤£š¤£š¤£