Never do this in harare

https://www.reddit.com/r/Zimbabwe/comments/1j6i1ha/never_do_this_in_harare/

created by Head_Improvement_243 on 08/03/2025 at 14:15 UTC*

127 upvotes, 40 top-level comments (showing 25)

1. If you’re called by guys at a corner for a free shoe cleaning/ polishing sample . Don’t go it’s not free and if you go your shoes will have different colors

2. If you’re approached on the street and are offered a job in a supermarket or shop . Run as fast as you can or else you will lose your belongings

3. If a guy with a foreign accent (usually Mozambican) says he needs counting his money and he promises to give you a mineral or a chemical to make money . Run , you will lose your money

4. If someone infront of you does money and someone picks it up then offers to share the loot with you . Run away , you are the target

5. If someone on the street asks to put their Simcard in your phone so as to make a call. This might be the last time you’re seeing your phone

6. If you are walking on the street and someone bumps you or steps on you , and they apologize yet they keep holding you or stepping on you , better secure your pockets cos they have likely stolen from you already

7. If you are coming out of a bar or public event and two guys come to you and tell you a story that doesn’t make sense or try to chat you up. Just know one is distracting you and the other is stealing from you

8. If you go and fix your phone or electronic device. Never hand it to someone on the street and let them tell you to wait whilst they go check in the shop . Your phone will never come back

9. Never do deals on the street.

10. Never board mshika shika doing rounds in round e.g market square-4th. You will drop off without some belongings

11. Never go for a sleep over at a girls house . The person paying rent will come unannounced

12. If you’re offered job training(till operator, security guard, merchandiser) and you’re asked to pay a fee for training . Just know you aren’t going to get a job and your money will go

13. Never make eye contact with a vendor , you will buy what you don’t want

14. If you’re in a bar never let people see where you’re keeping your money

15. If you’re traveling long distances buses don’t look confused and don’t board every bus . Board the one about to leave otherwise you will be on the bus for a long time with some seat warmers .

16. If you know what’s good for you stay away from 3rd street, 6th , 8th, big apple,akiz,holiz, liz, queens

17. Most young beautiful women in bars are not there for relationships, if you want to end up paying for her kids school fees, her nails , hair , rent then stay faaaaaaar away from them

18. Women in harare have 4 birthdays per year so just remember the date she gave you is just to get you to spend on her

19. If a harare guy tells you he loves you soon after meeting you . Run , it’s not you he wants , it’s what you have.

20. A guy who switches cars often is likely a car dealer , the cars aren’t his . Don’t think you will get married and enjoy shotgun forever

21. If you’re driving in the cbd don’t use your phone whilst at the traffic light .

22. When you park in town, make sure your wheel is not on the white line, pay your parking fees, never park anywhere with yellow paint on the curb.

23. Don’t move around town with an open bottle of alcohol

24. Most alcohol and products in harare are fake so dont really fuss.

25. Don’t lend friends or family money no matter how sad their story is . Or how great their business proposal sounds , unless you don’t want it back or you wanna ruin the relationship.

26. Never indulge in a betting game in the cbd or worse, near the footbridge. If someone tries to convince you , that you will win , ask yourself what they are getting out of it If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

27. Don't take pictures, or linger around government and military buildings. Don��t run past the president’s house or stop to talk stories , avoid stop to talk stories or ask for directions at munhumutapa building .You will be made an example of, and you will tell others

28. If you don't have a car, Don't board Private. Especially after dark ,It's getter to get into a stuffed combi than gamble with your life and belongings

29. Stay away from bushy areas in major public parks like Harare gardens, at any time of the day. Don’t flaunt your phone there too, you may just be donating it to the street kid and street fathers fund

30. Don't send your CV or certificates to anyone you don’t know whose email ends with @gmail.com, @outlook.com. @yahoo.com, @hotmail.com, etc. These aren't verified emails. Identity theft is real, and zim is a prime field for cyber crime as people are very relaxed

31. Ladies, if you decide to go to town with a wig (frontal or glue-less), in areas more known to hang around street kids e.g footbridges. It will get snatched. If they fail they will grab your hat or necklace or drink

32. If you someone offers to give you a haircut or do your hair , if you are desperate and don’t want to regret betraying your hairdresser then go . Otherwise don’t go

33. Don’t send money via ecocash or any electronic platform to any house agents before meeting in person and actually entering the premises. As in inside the house not yard

34. Never Park where the drunk looking men direct you to, they charge a dollar and you'll escape by luck, or rolling up your window and playing dumb

35. If you are selling something and the buyer hands you the money then decides otherwise after you have verified and counted the money then as they are about to leave then decide to buy the item and give you the money . Do not , I repeat do not proceed with the deal . The batch of notes youre about to be given the second time are fake notes, always check your notes.

Comments

Comment by xrt_official at 08/03/2025 at 15:12 UTC

24 upvotes, 1 direct replies

26. Never indulge in a betting game in the cbd or worse, near the footbridge. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

I learnt that the hard way.

Comment by Muandi at 08/03/2025 at 15:34 UTC

23 upvotes, 1 direct replies

TLDR do not talk to anyone on Harare streets.

Comment by chikomana at 08/03/2025 at 15:40 UTC

17 upvotes, 1 direct replies

😂 Number one was my 'Welcome to Harare' moment right after I arrived for my first job! Got conned so bad that to this day, non of the many new generations of the Shoe Shine boys have tried me since! I think I subconsciously give off "Yeah, f'n try me" vibes whenever they are around! It's a miracle when you consider I have a severe case of RNF (Resting Nice Face) that attracts every other type of con to this day!

Variation of number 6 was my 'Welcome to Bulawayo' moment in college! Skinny guy in an arm sling bumped into me, right after I left the Barclays ATM🤦🏾‍♂️ and started making a fuss about me hurting him. His partner, The Muscle, joined in and escalated it. Somehow it turned into me accompanying them to his 'Doctor' down town and ended with me coughing up my money at threat of stabbing 😂

Bonus! 26. Don't fall for the 'bro, i just left the hospital and I need money to go home/buy food so I can take my medicine'. My RNF must be irresistible cos the guy did it to me twice! First time, I admit I fell for it. In my defence, he had his act down. He seemed to patrol around Parirenyatwa, Avondale shops and Kensington Pharmacy, had cracked lips (probably a makeup trick with glue), slow shuffling limp, weak voice, clean but old clothes and a skinny build to carry it all. Second time, he did a variation of the pitch but this time, I just nodded to the story with one of those pissed off smiles coz the last time, I'd literally given this bastard all I had on me and skipped my lunch and kombi home (I was walking 8km to work to save money and lunch was my main meal of the day)! I think he realised mid story that I was familiar but he committed to the bit and I let him finish his story, told him I got nothing and he went off quietly. Lol, Third time, i spotted him from afar and witnessed him smoothly transition to the act: he slowed down, changed posture, started the limp but once he was within 20m, he recognised me! He changed back to normal, crossed the road and started power walking to pass me looking anywhere but at me, all while gave him a death stare!

Comment by Legitimate-Net5068 at 08/03/2025 at 16:13 UTC

10 upvotes, 1 direct replies

1 happened to me😂😂😂 corner second street and Jason Moyo. I was going kuUZ for a Uni application ndakazosvika imwe bhutsu iri ye Grey, imwe iri some weird colour😭😭 actually that wasn't one of my best days, I had come from home kuchitonhora I was all onioned up wearing boots and a coat kusvika mutown it was blazing hot 🥲 then had to deal with the shoe guy aah it was a shit day😂🚮🚮

Comment by CtrlAltDelighty at 08/03/2025 at 16:58 UTC

9 upvotes, 1 direct replies

✍️So don’t go to Harare

Comment by h3xin at 08/03/2025 at 14:45 UTC

8 upvotes, 1 direct replies

11 🤣 what did you discover? Angry boyfriend or father???

Comment by Necessary_Ad2327 at 08/03/2025 at 15:01 UTC

6 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Number 11. The away game is thrilling and risky at the same time

Comment by Maggz1203 at 08/03/2025 at 15:15 UTC

7 upvotes, 0 direct replies

25 is so true. I learnt to say I don’t have no matter the story. I lost so much money last year to people I thought were family. Never again🚮

Comment by Disastrous_Ad_632 at 08/03/2025 at 15:21 UTC

7 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I got cooked at 1 haa never again

Comment by No-Spite522 at 08/03/2025 at 14:47 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

6😭😭

Comment by mulunguonmystoep at 08/03/2025 at 16:12 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Thanks for the reminder in common sense lol

Tl;dr

Comment by Cageo7 at 08/03/2025 at 17:46 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

These guys with sob stories about bus fare shortage etc, they forget that one encounter with them, we will always remember them. I like their resilience 😂😂😂

Comment by SnooDingos229 at 08/03/2025 at 19:35 UTC

5 upvotes, 1 direct replies

11 is the bible. Her boyfriend came back at 4am after he finished at the club luckily I jumped out the window ran out to my car. From previous experience in life I know never park your car right outside give yourself room to run and leave the chaser behind and drive away. Never knew she had a boyfriend till that day.

I’m a 10 - 0 boxer but you never fight someone when you are the away side on home turf they have home advantage

Comment by Own_Awareness_3338 at 08/03/2025 at 18:48 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Best Harare survival manual.

Comment by HaveYouMetCherry at 08/03/2025 at 19:21 UTC

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Ladies, if you decide to go to town with a wig (frontal or glue-less), areas more known to hang around street kids e.g footbridges. It will get snatched

Comment by PurpleCommercial5911 at 08/03/2025 at 19:12 UTC

7 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Please add these:

27. Don't take pictures, or linger around government and military buildings. You will be made an example of, and you will tell others

28. If you don't have a car, Don't board Private. It's getter to get into a stuffed combi than gamble with your life and belongings

29. Stay away from major public parks like Harare gardens, at any time of the day.

30. Don't send your CV or certificates to anyone who's email ends with @gmail.com, @outlook.com. @yahoo.com, @hotmail.com, etc. These aren't verified emails. Identity theft is real, especially in Zim where everyone is looking for a job

Comment by zimbozimbo7777 at 08/03/2025 at 20:59 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

21. Don’t use your phone while driving Period.

Comment by Aggravating-Chick at 09/03/2025 at 04:58 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

If you are passing past those guys who are playing betting games using bottle lids, and a random person grabs your hand trying to tell you about the game, do not even think of stopping there, please RUN.

Comment by Old_Faithlessness449 at 09/03/2025 at 06:23 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

In Harare, Never entertain anyone who comes up to you and offers to sell a stolen phone for cheap. Even if they claim they picked it up and just want a little bit of money for it. Even if they show you the phone, let you hold it and inspect it. Ignore them and run for your life. You will lose your money.

Comment by theofficialhotauntyy at 08/03/2025 at 14:29 UTC

2 upvotes, 2 direct replies

I've been a victim of 2 and 8 unfortunately

Comment by AdRecent9754 at 08/03/2025 at 15:59 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I don't shy away from interactions. All i have to do is make sure no one is within arm's reach during these interactions.

I normally just slap away the hands of these would be crooks. Sometimes they will get angry but aren't willing to start a fight over it.

If you're losing belongings just because you aren't observant , all i can say that its great opportunity to wise up and start paying attention to your surroundings . Ndinotopinda imo muMushika unonzi you'll lose your belongings. The only way you can steal something from me is by holding me at gunpoint . Kwete zvokubirwa nokuti wavarairwa.