AITA for not giving my mum money?

https://www.reddit.com/r/SeriousConversation/comments/1iar0qu/aita_for_not_giving_my_mum_money/

created by Party_Arm307 on 26/01/2025 at 21:29 UTC

4 upvotes, 3 top-level comments (showing 3)

Context: my mum has a bit of a gambling habit, and last year in like June ish? She started to ask me for money like a 20 there or a 30 there etc. and me being non the wiser, I did, and it went on for a few months, I started getting suspicious of it until one time I didn't have money in the bank to lend, so soon then she came to me and told me that she would stop asking me for money unless she had a reason, like bills and stuff like that, etc. so we agreed and it went well.

But then a couple of days ago she asked for 50 then another one and another one, but then she must've came to her sense and asked me this was the last time she was going to ask. Then came today, she asked me for a 50, so then I asked why, then she said there was none and could I do it, so I was confused for a bit and she said I didn't have to if I wanted to, so I decided to be brave and say no and she understood for a minute then she started to act cold, a bit distant and passive aggressive? I think that's the right way to say it? Anyway she didn't want dinner, even though I was cooking, didn't want anything to drink or even to help with some clothes that was hanging off the basket. Now shes went to bed early and has the door closed which is not normal so I'm sure she's annoyed at me for giving her the 50 for her to gamble.

Now to be fair I could be entirely wrong on this and she may be tired from work and the fact she's working tomorrow.

Am I wrong for not giving her the money? Because we do both love each other and I don't like upsetting her or anyone else in general and I'm kinda worried that I've messed up

But until I know more I'll update, so am I the asshole?

Comments

Comment by AutoModerator at 26/01/2025 at 21:29 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

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Comment by EveryCoach7620 at 26/01/2025 at 21:45 UTC

9 upvotes, 0 direct replies

NTA she has an addiction. She is trying to manipulate you by not speaking to you, or participating with activities you’re offering. I hope you can move out on your own soon.

Comment by Tx_Atheist at 26/01/2025 at 21:46 UTC

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

My rules about loaning money:

If they already owe me money and haven't attempted to repay....no

If my own bank account ( checking, savings or both ) is at or below a particular dollar amount....no

If the only reason they communicate with me is to ask for money or favors .....no