created by madeat1am on 02/12/2024 at 15:31 UTC
92 upvotes, 26 top-level comments (showing 25)
Like someone saying: I have ADHD because I get distracted sometimes. Oh I'm so OCD I'm so clean
I remember in a comment I said I don't have social anxiety but phone calls make me very anxious and I need time to prepare and recover. Someone said " that's social anxiety."
I have anxiety, I do not have social anxiety. One flaw and sometimes I struggle with that may be a symptom of a disorder does not mean I have social anxiety.
The problem when someone misidentifies a disability or disorder . Everyone them thinks the disorder isn't something that it is.
E.g currently people calling autism like its just some silly little quirky thing. Not a debilitating disability that affects everything you do and will ever do. So when someone with autism has a melt down, or actually miss reads a social situation everyone gets upset with them even after they've been informed they have autism. Cos those around them are convinced autism just means liking hello kitty
People being informed about Disabilities and disorders is a very good thing for obviously reason but causes so much harm with people who DONT have these disorders and going oh I have this symptom GUESS I HAVE IT HEY EVERYONE I HAVE IT. The people that hear it see someone actually living with it and going oh but that guy over there has it and he's completely fine! So you're faking it!.
When really the one missinformed is faking it.
Comment by AutoModerator at 02/12/2024 at 15:31 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting.
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Comment by [deleted] at 02/12/2024 at 17:06 UTC
42 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Honestly as an autistic person, people viewing autism as 100% suffering bothers me more than people viewing it as cute. The deficiency narrative is used to push quack "cures" and conversion therapy, whereas the cutesy Tik Tok shit is just kinda annoying.
Btw I was diagnosed age 9 and I'm on disability benefits, so I'm not saying this from the standpoint of being "mildly" autistic.
Comment by tlm11110 at 02/12/2024 at 16:18 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I think it is human nature to try to be helpful and to think we know more than we do. I see it with my family who tries to help me with caring for my wife's Alzheimer's. "Well did you do this, maybe that will work, have you seen a neurologist." I got frustrated at first but then just accepted that they are trying to be helpful. We tend to be problem solvers even when we aren't good at it. Outright denying an issue is very frustrating and insensitive for sure. I think most people want to be helpful, we just don't know how to do it very well.
Comment by ant2ne at 02/12/2024 at 19:45 UTC
10 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Oh yea, try being an insomniac. Nobody takes you serious and nobody cares. "Just get more sleep." MFer, that is THE problem.
Comment by gavinjobtitle at 02/12/2024 at 15:53 UTC
14 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Nah. Everyone would still call you a faker and just Lazy for your anxiet, even if everyone used the right words all the time because they have a worldview things like that are just inherently fake
Comment by Kaurifish at 02/12/2024 at 17:36 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think the deeper reason is that people don’t want to acknowledge that fundamental things can go wrong with the human body. People faking it is secondary.
Comment by KDragoness at 03/12/2024 at 02:17 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I've been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, many mental health issues, and a lot of physical chronic genetic health issues. I am unable to function and need a lot of aid. My conditions are also all mostly invisible, and yes, I am 20 and AFAB, but I look like a young teen. Most of my issues have a spectrum of severity, and I don't meet most stereotypes.
I feel like people don't take me seriously. I already had to fight to have someone listen to me and actually check me out, and I wrongly assumed my issues with that would be over when I finally got formal diagnoses. I've had doctors dismiss me even after diagnosis because they won't believe it. I'm not on mainstream social media. I didn't even know any of this was popular or trendy until recently! I dread and am extremely anxious about trying to explain myself to anyone, especially new doctors.
Yes, it's invisible, but I've been in treatment for most of my life. It really is that bad. My autism and ADHD do have upsides, but I don't understand why people want and flaunt any of this. I do my best to spread awareness and be true to myself, and I'm doing the best I can to manage. I'm miserable and wish it would all stop so I can go live my life.
I didn't choose any of this. I've done everything in my power to help myself. But it's still there. There's no fixing my DNA or whatever happened to my brain. What 20 year old wants help getting dressed, getting food, and showering? I don't choose to not sleep or have my body be physically unable to hold itself together. I didn't choose pain or fatigue or allergic reactions and passing out and migraines, GI issues issues, severe anxiety, depression, mood disorders, sensory issues.. and on and on and on. I'm not being overdramatic. I'm not crazy. It really is that bad.
I believe suspecting you have a condition isn't bad. Getting in to see professionals is difficult and lengthy. Speculating is the first step to treatment. But as long as they are seeking professional opinions and looking for help, I don't see an issue. Before I was diagnosed I'd say things like "I probably have autism," but I wouldn't outright claim I had it.
I'd also like to add that the influx of diagnoses is coming from the fact that these conditions are coming to light and more people are realizing they have them. I don't think fakers are common, and most of the mis-self-diagnoses are from teens. I also think that some who are formally diagnosed assume that their experience is how everyone else experiences the condition, which is rarely the case.
I'm glad these issues are getting more awareness, but the mis-self-diagnoses feel like they are currently doing more harm than good.
TL;DR: I agree. And I'm scared because I genuinely have and am formally diagnosed with many "trendy" conditions that have left me disabled, and I need a lot of aid and accomodations to stay alive.
Comment by JoeCensored at 02/12/2024 at 17:02 UTC
11 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Absolutely. Everyone on TikTok trauma bragging about their self diagnosed conditions is diluting what these conditions mean to everyone else.
Comment by contrarian1970 at 02/12/2024 at 21:34 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The internet has made younger people especially want to put themselves into a small group. I know some middle aged people also play attention seeking games with labels and diagnoses but in total fewer of them do it.
Comment by Just_AT at 02/12/2024 at 22:22 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Not to mention a lot of them have similar symptoms. I mentioned my adhd diagnosis and my friend said that maybe she has it because she cant focus sometimes. The same friend who got mad at my time blindness (for being 5 mins late..) criticized my lack of organization and focus. Shes the opposite of me. Very organized and studious.
Comment by [deleted] at 02/12/2024 at 22:04 UTC
10 upvotes, 1 direct replies
As a college student, the amount of people I’ve encountered who have self-diagnosed themselves with ADHD is staggering. It’s like some sorta quirky badge that they love to prominently display when encountering the slightest challenges/inconveniences. It seems like it’s “cool” to have some sorta mental disorder nowadays.
Comment by [deleted] at 02/12/2024 at 20:19 UTC
8 upvotes, 2 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by LordEmeraldsPain at 02/12/2024 at 19:25 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Oh god I feel you. I could rant about this all day. What I’m really sick of is “I’m legally blind!” You’re not blind! You wear glasses, you can drive! Shut up! This only seems to be a thing in America, we don’t have this in the UK, but what they call ‘blind’ over there is a mild announce over here. Or, “I’m so blind without my glasses!” Piss off. I can’t drive, I can’t access many websites, I struggle to get a job, I’ve had friends think about taking their own lives due to their vision/sight loss. It’s not funny, it’s not an accessory, it’s just shit!
Rant over, sorry.
Comment by RicketyWickets at 02/12/2024 at 16:04 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
What about all the people who do have adhd, autism, ocd etc but can't get diagnosed? Or aren't allowed to believe that they may have a disorder because of their or their parents religion? Do you just feel like people guessing about their symptoms takes away from the legitimacy of your doctors opinion? Doctors are often wrong and misdiagnose things. What if the person who has no money or isn't allowed to go to a doctor because of their religion reads all of the materials doctors refer to to make a diagnosis and figure out that they likely have adhd etc. how does that take away from your diagnosis?
Comment by SuchTarget2782 at 02/12/2024 at 17:16 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
People misusing terms they learned about on somewhere, and mis-diagnosing their friends and family is as old as the hills. People want to help and don’t always recognize that they don’t have the ability to do so.
But you’re right; you gotta cut through all the misappropriated medical-ese and actually figure out if somebody is self-diagnosed or not before you can take them seriously, and it absolutely does suck for people who aren’t carrying around a little “100% Officially ADHD” (or whatever) card in their wallet.
“Dad, the reason ___ worked for ___ is because they didn’t actually have ___ - their mom just told everybody they had it after they watched that one episode of Oprah.”
Comment by [deleted] at 02/12/2024 at 22:48 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
CONTENT WARNING FOR OCD INTRUSIONS. DON'T READ IF YOUR OCD PICKS UP OTHER PEOPLE'S INTRUSIONS. _______________________________
There are people with OCD who spend entire nights checking their doors, windows, ovens. Flicking their lights on and off so it feels right, repeatedly doing motions until it feels right.
There are people with OCD who spend hours ruminating in a panic attack that they might have a paraphilia, that they might have hurt someone but don't remember, that they might have done something horrible, that they might've accidentally stolen.
There are people with OCD that are haunted by the most horrid images you could imagine but 10x worse than that.
There are people with OCD washing their hands until they rot because they are " never clean ".
People who think they have this disorder to not know what OCD really is and consists of, and that is such a good thing. Nobody should have to experience it. I personally don't have an OCD diagnosis but I have a lot of awful thoughts similar to how OCD functions.
Comment by SaltedSnailSurviving at 02/12/2024 at 23:47 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have DID... could not relate more. So many people just straight up deny it's real to begin with, despite the fact it's on the DSM-V and has had a lot of study- hell, they even renamed the disorder when there was enough study to realize our initial understanding of it, and thus the name we gave it, was very inaccurate.
I don't tell anyone I don't trust (so, 3 or so people outside of the mental health professionals involved in my diagnosis know) irl I have it, so this has mostly just been in online spaces, but I usually just ignore it.
Comment by Anxiousanxiety94 at 03/12/2024 at 00:36 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yeah this gets on my nerves too. For me personally one of the big ones is I always get told or assumed I have ADHD. I don't, but I'm autistic and have bipolar disorder. Both of those have overlapping symptoms with ADHD. I used to have a friend who constantly would say I have ADHD because I get distracted easily and struggle focusing sometimes. I had to keep telling her, no I don't, that's my bipolar disorder.
Comment by love_no_more2279 at 03/12/2024 at 02:12 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You can't do shit about people tryna spit facts when they have very limited understanding of what their talking about. All you can do is spread the correct information any and every chance you get. How else are most people gonna learn unless they have personal experience with whatever disability or disorder it is?
Comment by [deleted] at 03/12/2024 at 04:06 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
When you say "people", you mean **some** people between the ages of 13 and maybe 29, so about 20% of people. So, it's some small subset of this 20% of people doing this. I don't disagree it's harmful, but don't say that "people" are doing this, when the vast majority are not.
It is super irritating that this is something that is happening. Their parents didn't teach them right from wrong.
Comment by Any_Interest2789 at 03/12/2024 at 14:10 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
When someone says they have IBS it can mean they had their colon removed and they have to use a colostomy bag for the rest of their lives, or it can mean that they fart sometimes or something. I have zero sympathy for the second group
Comment by Squirrelpocalypses at 04/12/2024 at 05:21 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It might be annoying but I don’t think it’s a root cause. People have been discriminatory/ mean towards disabled ppl long before ppl started doing that.
As someone diagnosed with autism, honestly, I think it’s the reverse. I think what you’re talking abt comes as a side effect to wider public knowledge and social media. But the wider public knowledge helps people be more aware of autism now and how it can present. So 🤷
And I think the people that act like autism is something quirky are few and far between. While it may not actually be autism, often it does come from a genuine place of symptoms or issues that they want/ need addressed. For example sensory issues might actually be something like PTSD, adhd or anxiety instead of autism, but the sensory issues are still an issue for them that they want addressed and they’re looking for an answer.
Comment by [deleted] at 04/12/2024 at 15:29 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The most classic example of this are migraines. This word is so terribly misused, not every headache is a migraine.
I can't trust people anymore when they say they suffer migraines. I kind of have to 'symptom check' them first to see if they actually suffer from migraines.
Comment by [deleted] at 02/12/2024 at 18:48 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
For the most part, disabilities are something individuals deal with. Sure, your close friends and family should be aware of the situation, but to expect the public writ large to be aligned with every individuals issues isn’t going to get you anything but more stress.
Comment by Jorost at 02/12/2024 at 17:51 UTC
0 upvotes, 1 direct replies
If phone calls make you anxious because of the need to talk to other people, then that may indeed be social anxiety. In some cases social anxiety is not generalized, but rather is specific to certain situations. For example, I have a very difficult time in "open" social situations; in other words, situations where I am just a guest and have no specific role to play. Yet I am happy to get up on stage and perform in front of people.
As for other people's opinions, f**k 'em. No one knows what you are experiencing. It's like when people who suffer from debilitating migraines are told, "It's just a headache." Everyone has had a headache so they think they know what it feels like, but if you have ever had a migraine you know it is a different level of discomfort altogether.