created by Indigo_Azure on 21/01/2025 at 18:04 UTC*
12 upvotes, 8 top-level comments (showing 8)
Will keep it as short as I can.
Ended my (F36) 18 month relationship with now ex (M29) a week ago, I went full no contact. Basically I have come to the realisation that he is a very very intense covert narcissist and the amount of gaslighting, emotional manipulation, lack of accountability, many phrases such as "you've created a false narrative of me in your mind", etc, have been an unbelievable journey, one I have never experienced before.
I have had the strongest gut feelings about this person that came in waves throughout our time together, a feeling of doom. Each gut feeling has been right and confirmed with pretty heavy stuff - a cocaine addiction being one of them.
The latest discovery is one that I HATE being a part of at 36, I feel too fucking grown for this shit. During our last break up he screenshotted selfies of a girl that HE KNOWS, they are Instagram friends and have mutual friends in real life. And then.....EMAILED THEM TO HIMSELF. At 3am. I know we weren't together at the time but it was 3 days after we broke up - whilst I was waiting for an abortion. And it's just particularly gross and creepy as an act, the screenshotting and emailing to himself. It's horrendous and a real violation of that woman. Also, this just feeds in to every insecurity I have ever had about myself, ones that I have spent years working on. YEARS.
I knew he had a secretive side to him surrounding this topic, I had no logical reason to know - I just knew. It's killing me.
I just wanted to vent this out, and ladies - never ever ignore that magical intuition.
Comment by --2021-- at 21/01/2025 at 21:00 UTC
27 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I feel too fucking grown for this shit.
Consider that as they get older they're more practiced as well at hiding things. And there are places where they share information/tips. So don't reveal to them what you found, don't tell them a *damn* thing, just move on. You don't want to teach them how to cover their tracks better. Let them keep blazing those red flags.
Comment by you-create-energy at 21/01/2025 at 18:28 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
How did you know he emailed this to himself?
Comment by Klaami at 22/01/2025 at 01:53 UTC
8 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Narcissism is 0.5 to 2% of the population. Are the same 3.5 million men being passed around?
Comment by Amos54 at 22/01/2025 at 21:33 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm not going to go into a long winded reply but OP you aren't in a good position either in your life.
Comment by 1RandomProfile at 21/01/2025 at 18:12 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Ugh, I feel your pain. I married a man diagnosed with severe narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathy (of course, after we were married). It's no joke.
I am sorry you're dealing with this. The silver lining, you're out and free from this drama and mess!!! I'd pick yourself up when you're ready, and never look back.
And, yes, ALWAYS listen to your gut. Hugs.
ETA: Also, please don't let the actions of another determine your own self worth. The two are completely unrelated. I hope you will consider counseling and healing.
Comment by LadySJA at 25/01/2025 at 05:53 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I just got out of an almost three year relationship with a narcissist and I’m 54! Much too old and should have known better. But lessons have been learned and it won’t happen again.
Comment by Mreeder16 at 21/01/2025 at 23:29 UTC
1 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I swear every single one of these posts have a decently big age gap with an older woman.
Comment by Motor_Ad8313 at 22/01/2025 at 01:10 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
You lost me when you said yall had already broken up once….🤦🏻♂️���🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ M/37 it’s not about how great he’s in bed… they are Ex’s for a reason baby girl he won’t change. Hopefully your example and the thousands more on here thinking he/she will change this is your wake up call and don’t be lazy with your emotions 🫡🫶🏽