https://www.reddit.com/r/ROCD/comments/1iitw3j/rocd_triggered_by_running_into_ex_while_in/
created by lmr_1996 on 06/02/2025 at 04:07 UTC*
3 upvotes, 0 top-level comments (showing 0)
Hi! I have been struggling with rocd for a little over a year now, it comes and goes in waves, some times obsessed and so excited for the future with my partner and other times i am spiraling thinking what if i fall out if love (which happened to me in my last relationship), what if theres someone better, and the same for him. My partner came into my life at a low moment for me, when i least expected it- he is truly so amazing, so understanding, supportive and validating which also can triggered my lack of self worth and feeling unworthy of this kind of love- or the fear he will one day realize i am not good enough- im working through all these anxieties as hard as it is.
Before my partner i had been in a very long term relationship. The last year of that relationship I fell for a guy who had been a close friend to me for some time. He made me believe i was beyond special and put me on a pedestal. We hooked up briefly after i ended things with my ex, it wasn’t good but there was so much build up and i had convinced myself it was something bigger so i perused it. I have low self worth and was seeking his validation to the point where i let him manipulative me, pin his ex girlfriend and i against each-other, compare me to other women he was with and tell me how to act or dress in certain ways. He ended up leaving to be with his ex without saying good bye. A year later after i had already started dating my current partner, he contacted me, apologized for his behavior and told me he broke up with his girlfriend- i didnt want any beef so i accepted the apology and let it go. He began reaching out more to the point where i had to set boundaries- which he then broke by reaching out again in numerous ways. This triggered me as he was flirting with me the same way he was when he was manipulating me out of my first relationship. It made my body scared he could take me away from my amazing new partner. Finally i blocked him (ive never blocked anyone before) and he was pissed.
Since then ive seen him on the street while hes visited but havent engaged. Everytime i see him it makes me so anxious- recently i just found out he has moved back to my neighborhood and i cant stop ruminating about having to see him. I feel like im walking around with a target on my back- not only in my neighborhood but at social events as we have a lot of mutual overlap. Any advice? I have issues with setting boundaries and not feeling guilty for blocking/ no contact. He was once a friend to me but i no longer have trust for him, yet of course your mind loves to trick you by replying old memories. My partner knows how it makes me feel and just supports me and tells me the anxiety is momentary. But i guess im worried the run ins will be more frequent and more anxiety inducing? Any one been in a situation like this?
There's nothing here!