https://www.reddit.com/r/ROCD/comments/1iijqri/i_need_some_guidance/
created by LabBeginning554 on 05/02/2025 at 20:19 UTC
1 upvotes, 2 top-level comments (showing 2)
Hello everyone. I’m writing this in hope someone can help me. Two months ago, my long distance bf and I started talking about living together. It’s something we have talked before and I felt a bit of anxiety, but that’s all. But there was one time, we started talking about it and I got thoughts like: “why would you make him move with you” “you are not actually in love” “you are bad for leading him on like this”. I got terrified and a nightmare started. Since then, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I’ve been thinking that I don’t actually love him. And it’s crushing me. He is the most amazing bf I could ever ask for and I would give anything to go back to that day it all started and prevent from this thoughts and feelings to come. We have a very healthy relationship but I really feel I don’t love him anymore and that I should break up with him and I don’t do it because i will feel too alone and devastated if I do. I’ve had ocd for lots of years, with different themes, but never had rocd. So I really don’t know if it’s rocd because, even though I do have many what if thoughts, my main thoughts are: “I don’t love him anymore” “I should break up”. I really don’t want to break up. I was head over heels for him one day, and the next day, after we talked about moving together, I stopped having love for him. To give a bit of context: I have been in therapy for more than 4 years because of my ocd and I’m medicated. I feel I can manage my other themes more or less so I think this is not a theme of ocd, I think it’s reality. I just don’t want it to be true. I don’t want reassurance. I just want to know if someone can relate to this and if there is a way to feel better. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to hurt our relationship. Any help or advice is much appreciated. Thank you so much.
Comment by BluejayMountain8205 at 05/02/2025 at 21:12 UTC
1 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I relate to this hard. When my ROCD first hit it was just like this, I literally just woke up one morning and my feelings were gone. It’s so rough. If it helps, several abrupt break-ups later I experimented with staying in the relationship even though I didn’t feel in love, and the love eventually came back. When my subsequent relationships have ended, it’s been for reasons that make sense to me, not ROCD reasons. I still get this feeling sometimes, the intrusive thoughts and the loss of love - especially when approaching a big commitment like living together or getting married - but I have learned that there’s usually something good on the other side of it, if I can stick it out.
Comment by antheri0n at 06/02/2025 at 15:08 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies