https://www.reddit.com/r/ROCD/comments/1iib8nb/a_teen_with_rocd/
created by strawberry_psych0 on 05/02/2025 at 14:31 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 top-level comments (showing 1)
I'm a teenager (17) dating my girlfriend. She's amazing in so many ways, but like all of, has some pet peeves (like complaining a lot abt small things) and recently my ocd has latched onto that. I get angry or irritated talking to her and feel like I've become less empathetic. I opened up to friends who told me I didn't love her, and that's not true. I want to love her, I'm choosing to love her.
I feel fake, and sick to my stomach because I keep having breakup urges. I've been writing my fears and intrusive thoughts down in locked notes to try and put them away but they always come back. I've been spiraling over a small argument because I'm so afraid I find her annoying or irritated that it's MAKING me feel annoyed and irritated. She says she feels loved, but I feel like the love I show isn't good enough. I'm also suspected autistic and have ADHD, if that explains anything else.
I just wanna love normally, and I see so many teen and adult couples that are happy and carefree, and I'm just not. I will suffer through this, and she knows my situation but I just wanna feel secure with my own feelings. I can't trust my heart over my brain because it's so loud.
Can anyone relate? What do you guys do when compulsions and spirals are particularly bad. I'm on a therapy waiting list, but it takes time. Thanks for reading my rant, and sorry if it doesn't make sense.
Comment by Syllabub-Flimsy at 05/02/2025 at 14:40 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Trigger warning:
Ask yourself if you can be with her long term. If you would be comfortable with her being your only partner ever. If she actually is what you want from a partner. I had the same thing happen at 18 with my first boyfriend. The knot in the stomach. The constant worrying. It all went away when i asked myself so what would happen if we broke up. In my case there were major incompatibilites in out view of thinking and activities so i somehow knew i wanted something different. I just got the courage to admit it to myself.I know these questions are like intrusive thoughts but i think you should actually respond to them given you are so young. I hope this doesn t trigger you into a spiral. That s what helped me when i was your age. You may have a completely different situation.