A weird call about my dead mom

https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/comments/1ie6ciz/a_weird_call_about_my_dead_mom/

created by megret on 31/01/2025 at 04:04 UTC

184 upvotes, 10 top-level comments (showing 10)

I live in Chicago. My mom died last year in Kansas and we had her funeral there. This week, the funeral home called my brother to say that someone had called them wanting to do a memorial for our mom. Luckily, the funeral home did not hand out our information but instead got their information to give to my brother.

My brother googles the phone number and it's the office of a notable politician here in Illinois.

My mom has not lived in Illinois this whole millenium. She moved out in like 1998 or something. I told my brother to ignore it that they were probably just looking for a donations or something.

He called anyway and this lady said that they wanted to give us a memorial resolution. I googled it and I guess it's just like a card that comes from a group of people like a church or something.

The politician is Democrat, my mother was always Republican. She wasn't in a church, she was in a cult, but not like an interesting one, and we don't think this is related because those people stop talking to her when she ran out of money.

I'm hoping that this is just them trying to get donations. My mom was living here when she got her law degree at age 46 and I wonder if they were going through old rosters of attorneys trying to get people who would care about politics. By the end of her life she was also an expert on health care privacy law and maybe being involved in that put her on the radar for politicians. But again, she wasn't living here for that, she was living in Kansas.

Is there a way that this could be a scam? The phone number thing, I don't really put much stock in what a phone number is because everybody can spoof everything, but what would be the point of reaching out to us like this? She had nothing when she died. We inherited a laptop that we actually bought her anyway and a stack of crossword puzzles. We donated her clothes and the decor she had at her facility (mostly art she made while there, some metal tins, a teddy bear I think), we even donated her wheelchair. We had to declare publicly that she had no assets when the state of Kansas asked us what her assets were because they wanted to get their money back for all the Medicare or Medicaid or whatever they've been providing.

I don't know how this could be a scam but I don't know what else it could be.

Thoughts?

Comments

Comment by nohombrenombre at 31/01/2025 at 04:36 UTC

143 upvotes, 1 direct replies

What if you just ask them who is seeking to write the resolution- a church, organization, or a council of some sort? Not for the purpose of cooperating with them, but to get to the bottom of who it is who has initiated this weird request.

Comment by MmeGenevieve at 31/01/2025 at 04:39 UTC

71 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Sounds like she impressed someone with her expertise and they want to honor her memory. These sorts of things are often nonpartisan. It's is usually a statement read at a official meeting that goes: Whereas OP's mother was an attorney specializing in healthcare privacy... They list her accomplishments and notable facts of her life. It becomes part of public record and is considered an honor.

If they are not asking for you to pay for anything, it is likely that one of her old classmates, colleagues, or clients noted that she'd passed and just wanted to honor her. I'd get the number from your brother, call back, and ask more questions.

Comment by texaspolitics at 31/01/2025 at 13:14 UTC

50 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I’m a legislative staffer. Here’s my take:

• Your mom’s IL law school likely puts an “in memoriam” list in their alumni magazine. I wouldn’t be surprised if the politician maybe went to the same school? And gets the alumni publications and some intern was handed the year-end list and told, “go find some notable people in here to honor with memorial resolutions.”

Then, intern is trying to run these folks from a list down via Google… and here we are.

• But, let’s find out because that’s *wildly easy to do* and you’ll have peace of mind:

Find the website for the pol’s govt office (not campaign) and send them an email. It’s okay if it’s to a generic address; someone answers those.

“Hi, this is the family of [Mom Name]. Did your office recently contact us about a memorial resolution in her honor? If so, please know that we appreciate it but she hasn’t lived in IL in 25 years and it wouldn’t be a great use of your time. If you didn’t, please let us know because someone may be trying to run a scam on our grieving family and we’d like to make sure this is legit.”

etc. etc.

You’ll get a super-fast, super-apologetic reply either way, and that will put the whole thing to bed.

Comment by seeteethree at 31/01/2025 at 05:29 UTC

34 upvotes, 0 direct replies

When my grandfather died, a memorial to him was entered ("read" they say, but it's printed n the records) into the Legislative record of the Commonwealth in which he had lived - sort of like the "Congressional Record", but at the State level. It was, indeed moving tribute to him, and we are, as a family, honored that the thought was taken to do so.

I suspect it may be something like this, although it seems late in the game to provide such a thing. Worth a look.

Comment by HansBooby at 31/01/2025 at 07:40 UTC

9 upvotes, 0 direct replies

please don’t forget to update us when the mystery is hopefully solved x

Comment by SaltandLillacs at 31/01/2025 at 04:10 UTC

34 upvotes, 0 direct replies

it’s so easy to spoof numbers. It was probably someone trying to find details of her life to steal her ID or scam the family. If they find out her personal details then it’s pretty easy to steal the person details of family members. Bank security questions can be found out by scrolling through socials,obituaries and news articles.

Comment by kirkerandrews at 31/01/2025 at 10:51 UTC

13 upvotes, 1 direct replies

If they are going to great effort to make a simply nice gesture like this asking nothing in return, what have you got to lose if you say yes? Believe it or not, there are nice and genuine people out there who simply want to honor someone whether they knew them or not. Perhaps outside of your knowledge your mother encountered or knew someone close to the politician in her life and never made you aware. Maybe they don’t know her and just want to do something nice. Either way, saying yes doesn’t effect or hurt anyone, it’s a kind gesture

Comment by jayne-eerie at 31/01/2025 at 21:25 UTC

4 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Might be like a "Who's Who In America" thing, where they offer to create a memorial to your mom and then, once you've filled out her bio or whatever, they hit you up for money for some kind of certificate or memorial plaque. So shady but not illegal.

Alternately, it could be that your mom was involved with some community group in Illinois way back when and they want to honor her. Sometimes people reach out to elected officials when they aren't sure where else to go. If that's the case, it might actually be sweet.