https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1j7pz0s/is_it_noble_to_suffer_in_silence/
created by wishfulthinkingsurbs on 10/03/2025 at 03:52 UTC
40 upvotes, 9 top-level comments (showing 9)
I was taught that it is good for a man to suck it up whenever things go wrong. Ostensibly, it makes you less of a burden on those around you, and it’s feminine to ask others to solve your problems. But what happens when the pain stays? For months? Years? Decades? What happens when our stoic restrain becomes an excuse for others to disregard us? Or forget about us? Or to inflict more pain out of arrogance?
Unfortunately, no one is coming to help. Please take care of yourselves first because if you are a man you will be given nothing (except by mommy) and expected to do everything. Romance? Get ready to give everything and get nothing. Work? You’ll be treated like a slave. School? You’ll be treated like an incompetent idiot. If you want anything at all in this life, you’ve gotta make it happen. Advocate for yourself.
Comment by Cool-Breezy-Rain at 10/03/2025 at 06:57 UTC
9 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Men need to start complaining. One thing women will do is complain. Her order wasn't right? She's going to the little survey, calling the hotlines and waiting 30 mins to speak with a representative etc. Women jump through hoops to complain over everything. Men don't ever say a word. Men will just eat the food if the order is wrong. There just needs to be a cultural shift where Men start to learn from Karen 🤣
Comment by Greedy-Ambition6551 at 10/03/2025 at 11:34 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
All I can say is, I’ve tried opening up to people about my depression and suicidal thoughts. And in all honesty, it’s not helped me all that much.
Nobody can take my pain away, even if I open my heart to them. And as a man, you have to be very careful who you decide to tell. You never know when it’s going to be used against you, or how that person may treat you; from there on
Comment by Ok-Young4157 at 10/03/2025 at 05:12 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Welcome to being a adult male.
Comment by Mountain_Silver100 at 10/03/2025 at 06:46 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Some thought provoking writing. I have some experience with being exploited on this path. And sometimes, you get so used to pain that you forget you deserve good things and unintentionally overlook the little nice things happening around you. But it's a long tough journey that a lot of lone men go through, and it's easy to lose your way if you're not careful.
All I can think of right now is we should try to stand together as men. Having friends eliminates many problems, it's like having a good immune system. I hope you all have a good life. You deserve love, and I believe you will find it.
Comment by STEM_forever at 10/03/2025 at 06:53 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
That's one of the harsh reality of being a man in the modern world
Comment by Clan-Destin at 10/03/2025 at 14:09 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Your question made me think of two texts, “you will be a man my son” and “the day I loved myself for real
I think they could talk to you and maybe help you, I can share them with you if you want or you can find them directly on the internet
Comment by kmikek at 10/03/2025 at 16:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its stoic
Comment by Tireless_AlphaFox at 10/03/2025 at 04:02 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It is not. You need to ask for help when you need help. Call the suicide hotline if you feel like killing yourself. Get into some support groups if you want to emotional support. Make friends with people who care about you and will console you when you're depressed. If you refuse to seek for help and whine about not ever getting one, you're only forging your own suffering.
I know it is hard for many people to seek for help because of their upbringing and the idea of absolute masculinity, but I believe they can be overcame. You're already in a Mensrights subreddit. You can take another step forward.
Comment by thisiskartikpotti at 10/03/2025 at 04:53 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
No it is not. We all need a little helping friendly judge sometimes, and we need to not confuse the messaging handed down to us through the generations. The one u mentioned in your post. Giving into that messaging, and suffering in silence as a result, when there is nothing inherently noble about suffering; is setting the wrong precedent for ourselves..a little humility in the face of suffering goes a long way in being able to recognise and receive 'help', in whatever form it may come