6 upvotes, 1 direct replies (showing 1)
View submission: Where Is All the Sad Boy Literature?
As someone who reads and writes constantly, that also thinks about culture a great deal I think about this all the time. I feel like it's due to numerous factors, some of which seem rather unpopular to talk about.
1. Girls and women who are seen as sad or tragic are pitiable and worthy of support. Boys and men who are seen as sad or tragic are seen as pathetic, at best, and most likely dangerous. It's telling that the author mentions Holden Caulfield, as guys who openly identify with or even just appreciate him as a good character are seen as manchildren, at best, and quite possibly latent psychopaths. Later on in the same article, the author mentions *Infinite Jest* as a "sign of misogyny." So not only are men who write complicated characters seen as monsters, you're implicated if you even admit to reading them.
2. Even though we've dismantled a ton of social rules, mores, norms, and regulations, I feel like they still exist. Others have talked about guys leaning into self-improvement and the grind mindset. It's just a theory, but I wonder how much of different attitudes are due to the lack of a social safety net? I'd have to find numbers to say for certain, but in my anecdotal experience, women I have known have been far more likely to get degrees that aren't guaranteed to pay well, or are almost guaranteed to *not* pay well? I truly wonder how much of this behavior is due to the possibility of having a spouse subsidize their lifestyle down the line?
I feel like if you're a guy, unless you're really, **really** hot, you're not going to have a family or life partner, end of story.
3. I feel like that second tendency creates this death spiral, where guys are so busy hustling they're not reading, so a vast majority of the book industry is made up of women. If women are buying books, of course publishers are going to try to appeal to women. Which then creates this weird dichotomy where writing about a tragic male character could be seen as sympathizing with a toxic or problematic character or something.
Just some theories.
Comment by ReddestForman at 26/02/2025 at 00:51 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The safety nets one is big, I think.
I know more women who were able to pursue a dream because of an SO paying the bills. Including ones who suddenly had reasons to break up when things took off for them. Do I think all of them did it consciously or cynically? No. Do I think some of these breakups were totally reasonable and the ti.ing was coincidence? Of course.
But these can't *all* be cases of "actually he was horrible the entire time and she had no choice." Some of it was just plain old "he was convenient, and when she didn't need him anymore, she upgraded." But that's not how people of either sex frame shitty motivations to themselves or their friends. And I've noticed at least in progressive spaces, women are a lot more likely to automatically assume innocence of other women regardless of innocence, or just not care about the innocence of a given guy if that means modifying their opinion of another woman.