112 upvotes, 3 direct replies (showing 3)
View submission: Where Is All the Sad Boy Literature?
It seems the writer partially answers this question with the “manosphere” situation. Males might be too concerned with starting businesses, acquiring wealth, “self improvement”, and fitness to actually learn how or be willing to communicate their stories in a manner fit for the novel format.
Granted, some may feel that their stories are not important considering the focus on the experiences of women in recent years.
Others might prefer to be entertained by playing video games and watching shows and streamers instead of developing other traditional skills.
Writing is also difficult, for those who have not developed a process, and takes so much time to draft and revise.
I’m Curious to see what other people think.
Comment by Leatherfield17 at 21/02/2025 at 22:42 UTC
98 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Speaking as a young man, I’ve often been frustrated trying to talk to other men my age about deeper topics or actually communicating about our feelings, wants, needs, etc. I bring this up because a large part of it stems from what you mentioned about young men being too focused on “the grind,” self-improvement, acquiring wealth, etc. It’s not a mindset that really allows for much emotional depth or exploration.
I have a friend who is a bit like this. He’s not so engrossed in it that he’s become toxic or anything, but he’s gotten involved with this other guy who’s put all this life coach/influencer type of ideas in his head. Suddenly he’s talking to me about acquiring generational wealth and setting life goals and such and such.
It’s just, I don’t want a life coach, y’know? I want a friend who I can share my joys and sorrows with, who I can support and be supported by, who I can be affectionate with. I don’t want to always be on “the grind” and live by this super materialistic mindset.
Literature, to some degree or another, generally involves exploring emotions and, for the author, making yourself at least somewhat vulnerable, consciously or unconsciously. Like you said, that’s difficult for men to do (and for other men to appreciate when reading books) when they’re all focused on material self-improvement and whatnot.
I don’t want to come off as arrogant or narcissistic, but lately I’ve gotten the impression that I’m a little more emotionally aware than a lot of men my age. Part of the reason why I frequent this sub is that I lack the sort of conversations that occur in here in my real life.
It’s a very lonely feeling.
Comment by ForgingIron at 21/02/2025 at 20:34 UTC*
64 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Granted, some may feel that their stories are not important considering the focus on the experiences of women in recent years.
As a male writer, this is one of my personal concerns/fears. I feel like my perspective is less valuable in left or left-adjacent circles since I have the "privilege trifecta" of being a cis white male. I am also autistic and gay/ace but those seem to be secondary to the former (and don't get me started on the people who say that gay men and asexuals aren't as oppressed...)
And I'm always scared I'm gonna end up on /r/menwritingwomen or the more misandrist parts of Booktok
This is almost certainly an irrational fear but it's something that's constantly in the back of my mind when I'm writing, especially when writing a female character.
Comment by Clitty_Lover at 23/02/2025 at 15:44 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Your second point rings true to me. I know no one wants to hear my stories.