https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/1i6mbre/mens_group/
created by Zarvox1234321 on 21/01/2025 at 16:20 UTC
90 upvotes, 16 top-level comments (showing 16)
Hello friends,
Some masculine identified folks and I are looking to start a men’s group in our area. We are generally looking to create a space to discuss, scrutinize, critique, and celebrate our relationship with masculinity through a liberatory feminist lens.
The group currently consistently of 3 cis men and 2 trans men; we are open to anyone who identifies with masculinity that we know and trust.
My question to you all; what resources do you know of that may help us in the formation of this group?
Thank you!
Comment by fperrine at 21/01/2025 at 16:59 UTC
35 upvotes, 2 direct replies
It's probably a better bet to look locally, unless you want something over the web. Some places to look might be silly like a local library, bulletin board, city hall calendar, etc. Elsewhere, check out event websites like Eventbrite or MeetUp.
And I'd say expand the criteria to things like book clubs, poetry readings, art shows, even movie nights, if you aren't having success finding something. These spaces would definitely be more open to similar discussions, or at least would be more likely places where you'd interact with like-minded people.
DM if you'd like
Comment by PMmePowerRangerMemes at 21/01/2025 at 19:01 UTC
19 upvotes, 1 direct replies
tbh, the fact that this sub doesn’t have a readymade guide for you all set to go speaks to a failure on all our parts.
Comment by Zarvox1234321 at 22/01/2025 at 21:19 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hello all, OP here.
Thanks for your input!
We are doing in-person only and inviting people we personally know and trust so this is not an open group at this point.
I agree that having a resource on this subreddit for people to start their own men's groups would be great. Once we finish fleshing this out, I will share our resources and a breakdown of how it all worked out. From there, you all(and the mods) can decide what you want to do with that.
About the group itself:
We have all agreed that our relationship with each other takes absolute priority over everything regarding this project.
We operate under consensus.
We plan to have regular(monthly or bi-monthy) meetings where we discuss literature(a sort of political ed) and make space to open up about our relationship with our masculinity.
We have spoken about including activities, such as community service, to strengthen the bond between us and commit collective good on behalf of the group.
Currently, our meetings are simply to discuss the structure of the group(the next of which is tonight). We set a deadline to have our first "official" meeting in early February to make sure we don't get stuck in a planning hole.
Comment by ThatSeemsPlausible at 21/01/2025 at 18:43 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A Circle of Men by Bill Kauth is old, but I’ve been reading it recently and it still has a lot of good advice.
ETA: I started a new group recently, with the second meeting is coming up and we’ve got ~14 men, so it is almost too big.
Comment by HardlyManly at 22/01/2025 at 01:05 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Used to be part of a Men's Group in my local city.
The best thing you can do if you're gonna make it public, is for it to be a group to have open discussions *while doing something.*
Very few people joined our sit-down and talk group because men are not primed for introspection, self awareness and discussing emotions. On the contrary, it spooks them. So what works is to do something similar to what the Men's Sheds associations are doing globally: they have activities like wood working, metal working, or even going on hikes (activities that are very male-friendly) and during them start having dialogues and connecting with fellow men. It's the perfect bridge between men and open and interesting discussions that invites them to reflect and introspect.
Comment by zerfinity01 at 22/01/2025 at 22:28 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
“Men’s Work” by Paul Kivel is old but a classic of profeminist men’s work.
“Voice Male” by Rob Okun “Reinventing Masculinity” by Adams and Frauenheim “The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter ***” a trans-inclusive guide to desire and men’s sexuality.
nextgenmen.ca goodmenproject.com
And depending on your location, there may be other men’s communities that you can turn to ask for contacts for support. For example, I’m in the SF Bay Area and I know at least three long standing men’s communities aligned with feminism with members that’d probably offer supportive conversations.
Comment by [deleted] at 21/01/2025 at 17:03 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
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Comment by [deleted] at 23/01/2025 at 12:11 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
[removed]
Comment by savagefleurdelis23 at 21/01/2025 at 17:33 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Check out this group: https://evryman.com/[1][2]
I hear good things about them.
Comment by Important-Stable-842 at 21/01/2025 at 17:41 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
a group in my area advertises on facebook.
Comment by skynyc420 at 21/01/2025 at 18:28 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Would love to join, where are you guys at?
Comment by hendrixski at 23/01/2025 at 11:57 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Why not join existing men's groups in your area?
Men's sheds, everyman, freemasons or KoC, DudesForDads, etc. Etc. There are dozens of kinds if men's groups and they're all safe spaces where you can discuss, scrutinize, critique, and celebrate your relationship with masculinity.
Comment by JumpInfamous234 at 21/01/2025 at 21:16 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A book recommendation in case you want to have a book club session: Making Safer Spaces by Shawna Potter.
Comment by hornyhenry33 at 21/01/2025 at 22:27 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Are you planning on making it a online or irl group? If It's the former I would be very interested in joining. I'm from a part of the world (south america) where men's groups flat out aren't a thing and if you plan on making an internet group it would be a good opportunity for people in similar situations to mine.
Comment by ragpicker_ at 22/01/2025 at 00:37 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I read Billy No Mates on this and it taught me at least one important lesson that is relevant here- make it activity-based. That's a good way of fostering loyalty to the group among dudes. For instance, in Australia we have very vibrant wood/metalworking groups and reading groups.
Comment by itchyouch at 23/01/2025 at 04:08 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Circles of men by clay boykin and the men's group manual by Clyde Henry.
I've read about halfway through the latter book and it's been good thus far!