https://www.reddit.com/r/KindVoice/comments/1ih32tp/l_feels_like_theres_nobody_around_who_really/
created by akirasherwood on 03/02/2025 at 23:12 UTC
10 upvotes, 2 top-level comments (showing 2)
Someone asked me today, "why are you even depressed??", as if it was the strangest thing in the world. "Have you taken a look at the state of the world?", I'd have replied, but frankly I'm tired. We, as humanity, could've had everything in life. But, no, let's spread suffering and misery everywhere we can! Think about the possibilities we had with AI and robotics, that now serve as ruin to artists and tools to further push industrial and capitalist competitions. Trying hard to get through school or other education, only to get a job that might lead you to burnout (if you haven't gone there already) and will probably not pay enough to let you live comfortably. I'm trying so hard to escape reality at any given corner, mostly through video games, because any conscious minute here just makes it worse. I've been through 15+ years of therapy and meds, nothing seems to help and nobody seems to understand. On top of that there were personal setbacks at work and school that seem to serve no other purpose than to add to the misery. Even if I wanted to try again with therapy, it's virtually impossible to find any, as there are far too few therapists available (unless you can pay yourself) and my situation isn't considered "bad enough". Feels like with every year I've been here, that so-called light at the end of the tunnel grew dimmer and these days I don't see it anymore, at all. It doesn't help that neither family nor friends seem to really grasp the depths of my suffering, their company making me feel even lonelier than if I was only by myself. The few I tried talking to downplayed my experience, out of not understanding rather than ill will, I assume. But simply "taking a walk" or "worrying less" really won't fix anything here. Thanks for trying, I guess...
Comment by I4mC0nfusi0n at 04/02/2025 at 08:27 UTC*
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I'm sorry if I'm going to sound harsh, but English is my second language and I'm super bad at sugar coating things anyway. (I'm from Iran, so Farsi is my first language). Just please bear in mind that I'm not trying to personally attack you or call you stupid or anything. You just remind me a lot of myself at your age and it fucking hurts to see that, because I'm staring back at myself.
You're stuck with a mindset I had for the longest time. I have both depression and high anxiety disorder, but now I am at least a functional adult. Am I a cheerful one? No. I will never be. My diseases will always follow me around. But I'm not constantly stuck in a loop of bad thoughts 24/7 like I used to.
Back when I was your age? "Functional" was the last word I'd use for myself. I was essentially what can only be described as a mess. (I'm in my mid twenties now).
You absolutely need therapy and medication, I'm not the type of person who believes that depression and other neurotic disorders can be cured by simply having a healthy routine and thinking happy thoughts. Your feelings shouldn't be shrugged off. They should be taken seriously and taken care of. Yet I won't lie that as long as you're stuck with a bad thought process, these things CANNOT work. Therapy, medication, healthy thinking and good life choices all need to come together.
The way you type makes it very clear: You do have mental problems that are very real and aren't your fault at all (it's literally a disease. No one blames people for being sick), but you also subconsciously enjoy the idea of "suffering beautifully". Like how artists depict Ophelia in her last moments with utmost beauty, even though it's essentially a broken woman having her lungs filled with water. You wanna look like that. Probably not on purpose, but the desire lurks in your subconsciousness.
The concept of "tortured artist/intellectual/rebel/etc" has been romanticized to hell and back. Nowadays a shitton of young people believe that they feel sad and miserable simply because they "understand the world better" and if they don't feel miserable, then they're nothing but another lump of meat amongst the unenlightened masses. Then when asked about the state of the world, they bring up the most basic, bare bones, surface leveled perception. Oh wow, people do bad things and spread suffering and do bad things purely out of greed? No one has ever said that before! Humans have ALWAYS been this way. One would argue they used to be even worse.
To see the darkness in this world is simply a very tiny step in growing, but a lot of people get stuck in this step and stay here forever. This is basically why we got way too many edgelords out there. If you wanna truly grow and be different from the average Joe, then take the next steps. Realize that self inflicted suffering isn't beautiful, it's essentially just mental self harm.
You have to realize that this is the only life you have and the smart and intelligent approach is to live it with as little self inflicted mental torture as possible. Suffering doesn't necessarily equal a deeper understanding of the world. The Samurais saw some extremely abhorrent shit, but the focus of Bushido on self control and emotional intelligence stopped them from going down a spiral.
Just like you, I also took refuge in video games, I still play them a lot now, but much less than before.
The thing is, it's a hobby where you're merely a consumer, such hobbies, while great, only give you pleasure for a short while, you gotta add hobbies where YOU are the creator. Choose an art form (writing, drawing, music, etc) and how your anger and sadness and frustration through said art. Express yourself. When you create, your happiness will last much longer. Trust me. Writing saved me.
Then, please find something to revolve your life around, otherwise your life WILL become disoriented. Doesn't matter what, whether it's school, traveling, a cause, sports, a job, some form of art, whatever, just find something and dedicate yourself to it.
And if you truly feel sad about the suffering, do volunteer work. Lessen the suffering by being one of the good guys.
Sorry again. It was such a long ramble, but seriously, don't become me two years ago. When I was so done with the world I was hell bent on ending it all.
Comment by AutoModerator at 03/02/2025 at 23:12 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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