created by rolltidepod37squared on 02/02/2025 at 20:57 UTC*
12 upvotes, 7 top-level comments (showing 7)
24F. Was waiting for the elevator in my apartment building lobby when a man I have to assume was in his 40s or 50s started to make small talk. He seemed nice enough so I engaged but when he asked in passing if I lived alone I didn't think twice before I said yes ðŸ˜. I know it was so stupid but now I'm terrified it means something is going to happen to me since he knows I live alone. He was perfectly nice and didn't otherwise come off as creepy (and knows I'm in law school, unsure if that comes off as intimidating lol). But I have PTSD from a handful of near-murderer experiences (school shooting, and later a crazy housemate) and I cant talk myself down at all. I feel so so stupid. He knows what floor I live on too because I assume he saw what button I pressed.
Comment by Rand0mHi at 02/02/2025 at 21:56 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m not sure if this will help, but try thinking of how he might be thinking the same right now. Like he may be at home just worrying about how he hopes he didn’t creep you out with that question haha. But in the meantime, try just taking your mind off of it and distracting yourself with TV shows, movies, etc (whatever you enjoy doing).
Comment by MikeForShort at 02/02/2025 at 21:07 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
40-50 year old guy here, feel free to message.
Please don't be afraid over this interaction. It was simple small talk. I don't know the guy at all, but I do know what it's like to ask something completely benign and have someone think it means something else.
It's good to be aware of your surroundings, but life will be miserable if you hold that kind of fear in every interaction.
If you see him more, just be friendly as you would have without ever having that conversation.
Comment by I4mC0nfusi0n at 03/02/2025 at 05:17 UTC*
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Don't worry, it was probably just stupid small talk. Look at it that way: If I were a criminal, I would NEVER attack someone living in the same building as me. That would mean I would very easily be tracked down and arrested as everyone there knows me, the cameras in the area and building have regularly recorded me and my DNA and fingerprints are all over the place. Plus any sound from screaming or the door being broken IMMEDIATELY alerts the neighbors. That's basically like walking to a police station with blood on your clothes. So I genuinely think it was just the dude trying to be friendly.
But better be safe than sorry. Buy a gun and get yourself one of those locks that need multiple steps to open. Maybe even install a security camera. Also, like one of the commenters said, put up a sign saying you got a security camera and you're armed. I would say that's serious overkill, but whatever makes you feel safe. I don't think even ISIS would wanna fuck with you at that point.
Comment by Pure-Necessary-1510 at 05/02/2025 at 01:19 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Sweetheart please don't be angry at yourself, it was a lesson we've all had to learn, hopefully nothing happens but what I will say is get yourself protection, get a ring doorbell get a small camera for inside your home, get pepper spray (deep heat if you're in the UK) having things on you and around you will help you to feel much more at ease and safe. Also having a ring doorbell will help scare him off no doubt, perhaps next time if you see him tell him about how you have a boyfriend who's a police officer or you're going on a date etc. Tke some self defence classes or ask a friend to go with you or even watch them on YouTube, after I told my husband that I was SA the first thing he did was gave me a hug then told me to stand up and said, "right I'm teaching you self defence" doing that built my confidence so much! He then brought me a dog so I'd feel safe at home again and my dog is my world I love her, she has honestly saved me along with my husband I don't know what I'd of done without them.
Comment by Hour-Spray-9065 at 02/02/2025 at 21:33 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Print out some small sign from the internet - like it might say you have a camera, or maybe a gun, I'm the same.
Comment by AutoModerator at 02/02/2025 at 20:57 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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Comment by Disastrous-Piglet871 at 05/02/2025 at 00:36 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hey, how are you feeling now? It's been a couple days, has anything happened? Don't ever feel bad for listening to the little voice in your head or in your gut! And you never owe someone an apology for making yourself feel safe, especially if it's just their little punkin feelings that are affected. Sending you good thoughts