u/imaginaryqualia v. u/BUEcrupratfa1l55 for unlawful post theft

https://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt/comments/v5vicv/uimaginaryqualia_v_ubuecrupratfa1l55_for_unlawful/

created by ImaginaryQualia on 06/06/2022 at 05:24 UTC*

186 upvotes, 19 top-level comments (showing 19)

Members of the Kourt, we have here a blatant incident of post theft in an attempt to farm karma. Thankfully, I caught this early since I have no life and scroll Reddit daily. This should be a slam dunk case, so I hope we can needlessly draw this out with absurd nonsense and waste everyone's time.

*I humbly request the death penalty by bee sting.**

Update: It has been brought to the kourt's attention that the defendant u/BUEcrupratfa1l55 has chosen to do the honorable thing and off-ed themself. Prosecution moves to have them tried in absentia.

EVIDENCE:

My OC post made not but 5 months ago on r/RealBeesFakeTopHats:

Genius

The accused's repost made not but an hour ago:

Garbage

THE PEOPLE:

Prosecution: u/mozzarella_lavalamp

Defense: u/unknown228822

Judge: u/PracticalWait

Stenographer: u/haha_itsfunnybecause

Juror #1: u/PrawnCocktailWotsits

Juror #2: u/Ironfist296

Juror #3: u/iranees

Juror #4: u/AbyssalVoid1

Juror #5: u/gamecoach12

Bee (Executioner): u/Bigboy9969

Bee sting fetishist: u/spartanwolf223

Person named Bee: u/DontYoosungAnymore

Inappropriate gasper: u/officer_panda159

Comments

Comment by mozzarella_lavalamp at 06/06/2022 at 05:46 UTC

18 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I can be your attorney

Comment by [deleted] at 06/06/2022 at 09:41 UTC

13 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I can be the juror who is secretly listening to music through tiny earphones for the entire duration of the trial.

Comment by haha_itsfunnybecause at 06/06/2022 at 14:41 UTC

12 upvotes, 1 direct replies

op, as court stenographer i have to inform you that you’ve switched around the prosecution and defense attorney

Comment by unknown228822 at 06/06/2022 at 06:38 UTC

12 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I can defend the accused

Comment by Bigboy9969 at 06/06/2022 at 15:56 UTC

9 upvotes, 2 direct replies

i can be the bee

Comment by PracticalWait at 06/06/2022 at 07:22 UTC

18 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I will call the court to order later today. In the meantime, I strongly encourage everyone to participate in the just-ass process and register as a juror.

Comment by PracticalWait at 06/06/2022 at 20:50 UTC*

9 upvotes, 3 direct replies

The Kourt's doors open, and the Registrar, Ms. Balabuk, croaks *orrrrrdaaar*. Ms. Hakim, holding the Kourt's one-and-only service bell, dings it every 2 seconds, deviating from the centuries-old tradition of ringing the bell every 2 minutes.

Just-Ass — me, after a loong night out drinking and is half-awake — u/PracticalWait walks in: "All sit."

First, I would like to state the rules of my Kourt. Failure to abide will sway my decision in the other's favour, by a percentage made up by an RNG:

**You must write in Canadian English (I have exempted myself from this rule).**
No profanity.
All blows are allowed. There cannot be any harm done; the Defendant is deceased, and the Plaintiff has risen this case.
If the Plaintiff fails to convince the Jury, he will be sentenced to be stung by a bee, with the Judge deciding the location on his avatar.

THIS is the trial thread.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today, the u/imaginaryqualia is bringing a case against (late-) u/BUEcrupratfa1l55. He alleges that the Defendant has committed the crime of post theft to farm karma.

Let the show begin:

We have u/mozzarella_lavalamp, representing the Plaintiff, and u/unknown228822 representing the Defendant.

Prosecutor, go for it. *Bangs gavel*

Comment by PracticalWait at 06/06/2022 at 07:07 UTC

8 upvotes, 2 direct replies

I’ll be the judge.

Comment by spartanwolf223 at 06/06/2022 at 16:16 UTC*

6 upvotes, 0 direct replies

R.I.P Technoblade `this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev`

Comment by Ironfist296 at 06/06/2022 at 08:38 UTC

3 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I would like to apply for jury duty