RIP Mr kool aid man.

https://i.redd.it/ta7hyqi80xne1.jpeg

created by East-Penalty-1334 on 10/03/2025 at 19:36 UTC

844 upvotes, 25 top-level comments (showing 25)

“Hello America, this is Stacy smith with independent news. At around 9 AM Monday morning, a joint task force of green berets from 7th special forces group and members of SEAL TEAM 6 conducted a raid against the individual known as “koolaid man” it is reported that he was killed by gunfire after a 30 minute firefight.

In an interview with the ground force commander of seal team 6 he reported that “idek what we’re doing here, I just saw somebody that looked like an innocent civilian minding his own business and told my boys to open fire” he went on to say “also, you should buy my book, how to tie your shoes like a navy seal” it is reported that all members of seal team 6 that were on the raid will be receiving very lucrative movie contracts, book deals and Podcast appearances as well as opening up their own coffee brands.

Independent news also interviewed the team captain of the green berets team also on the mission but were turned down due to the green berets being “silent professionals” when independent news asked the seal team commander what “being a silent professional” meant he stated “I have no fucking idea, but y’all should subscribe to my podcast where I shill for other toxic veterans”

edit: it is being reported the seal team’s dog is also signing a book deal, the book will be titled “fuck it you’ll buy it because I’m a seal”

For independent news, I’m Stacy smith, have a good day America”

Comments

Comment by AutoModerator at 10/03/2025 at 19:36 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

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Comment by CrimsonTightwad at 10/03/2025 at 20:19 UTC*

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

https://preview.redd.it/xiasnrgh8xne1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fa9f3881f8b8851500ec980b3d5814b0ec08d69

Comment by user197821 at 10/03/2025 at 20:57 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies

That son of a bitch owns thousands for all the walls he destroyed , justice

Comment by Angus-420 at 10/03/2025 at 20:09 UTC

1 upvotes, 3 direct replies

Check out the onion it’s like Babylon bee but actually funny

Comment by BroccoliHot6287 at 10/03/2025 at 21:36 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies

The man was destroying property left and right. Thank god we got him before he “OH YEAAHH”’d into an orphanage.

Comment by Icy-Refrigerator7976 at 10/03/2025 at 19:47 UTC

1 upvotes, 11 direct replies

Babylon Bee exists so that right-wingers can LARP as rebels when in reality they control all branches of government and in fact, are the system.

It's not satire when you are the powers-that-be. It's propaganda. Even if it's toothless "comedy."

Comment by Mman222 at 10/03/2025 at 19:57 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies

OH NO!

Comment by metamorphine at 10/03/2025 at 20:20 UTC

1 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Oh no, what will MAGA drink now?

Comment by BunnyKnotMelt at 10/03/2025 at 20:27 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

gif [IMG]

Comment by turquoise_amethyst at 11/03/2025 at 02:32 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Great, now RFK can strap him to the roof of the family sedan OR dump his body in Central Park

Comment by SuleimanTheMediocre at 10/03/2025 at 20:27 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Babylon bee accidentally being funny for once? Didn't have that on my 2025 bingo

Comment by FranklinDRizzevelt32 at 10/03/2025 at 21:43 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

The BabylonBee is like the Onion but for people who can’t read

Comment by Old_Cellist_3406 at 11/03/2025 at 00:29 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

To be fair, he was a rage filled diabetic who caused massive property damage at the mere mention of his name.

Comment by Throwaway75732 at 11/03/2025 at 05:19 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

It was on September 10, 2001, that The Kool Aid Man burst through the wall of the Lauderdale middle school, killing two thousand children. Today was a day of reckoning.

Comment by AtomicMango83 at 10/03/2025 at 20:42 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I had to report Babylon Bee for false advertisement. They kept coming up under comedy.

Comment by Time_remaining at 10/03/2025 at 19:50 UTC

1 upvotes, 1 direct replies

cringe

Comment by Skully2006 at 10/03/2025 at 20:31 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

"OH Noooo"

Comment by AtomicMango83 at 10/03/2025 at 20:40 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

BRO.