About loneliness and how our interactions are reducing day by day

https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/s/8OCfQswzEI

created by vaikrunta on 26/11/2024 at 08:04 UTC

103 upvotes, 8 top-level comments (showing 8)

Comments

Comment by mistertickertape at 26/11/2024 at 12:56 UTC

70 upvotes, 1 direct replies

One thing I've learned...I recently turned 40. I have to make a concerted effort to reach out and spend time with friends that I want to spend time with. It isn't as spontaneous as when you're in your 20s or 30s because of life.

Comment by Calico_Cuttlefish at 26/11/2024 at 22:45 UTC

19 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Nobody tells you about, or prepares you for, the MASSIVE drop off of social context in life that occurs when you finish schooling. And if you work from home, that massive drop off is even steeper. When we're young we don't really appreciate that schooling puts us in the same place with people in our age group nearly every day, for years on end.

When school ends most of your social context comes from work, and workmates vary far more in age and interests than people in your own classes ever did.

I wish someone had told me to cherish all that time spent with so many people I could talk to and be friends with. Now it's all gone and the only option is to seek out social contexts like bars, classes or groups with interests similar to my own. I havnt made a new friend in more than a decade. I have some friends and a relationship but I'm still very lonely.

Comment by HotterRod at 26/11/2024 at 18:14 UTC

42 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Smart phones and social media did not start this. *Bowling Alone* was published in 1996. It concluded that TV and car culture were the main causes of loneliness. If anything, social media is an improvement from passive TV watching.

Comment by HalloumiA at 27/11/2024 at 02:16 UTC

12 upvotes, 1 direct replies

While it’s true that humans need social connection and it’s getting harder to do, Jonathan Haidt is NOT the one to look to for solutions……

This is the same guy that wrote “The Coddling of the American Mind” about how safe spaces are woke and stupid, he’s basically just Bari Weiss or Jordan Peterson with a slightly stronger air of academia around his bullshit

His entire works cited can be boiled down to “these young snowflakes complain about ‘hate speech’ and ‘mental illness’, but in reality it’s their own modern lives, rife with evils like social media and wokeness, that are causing these people’s problems! If we simply returned to The Way Things Used To Be, everything would be better”

Comment by Aeri73 at 26/11/2024 at 22:30 UTC

11 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I'm 50 now.

when I grew up, I went to the local grocerystore, and knew everybody there. on my way I passed to local cafe's, always full of people I knew

then tv became popular, lots of new channels, lots of entertainment posibilities at home became popular

and cafe's started closing.

big stores came as well and shut down the local grocceries.

now, every evening, in stead of talking in a café, you sit at home and watch netflix. and if you do go out to a café, it's empty, because every one else is at home.

the internet and games made that all even worse.

if the governments didn't plan this, it's a godsend.

imagine if every night you would be in a busy pub talking about politics and how shitty it all is in stead of screaming at your screen... you would be on the streets protesting in days, if not hours.

that's what's changed, I m h o.

Comment by GoodFaithConverser at 26/11/2024 at 09:36 UTC

23 upvotes, 2 direct replies

No one will take your hand and do it for you. Friends for life will not just knock on your door. Stop waiting, start meeting people - or get to a place in life where you can meet people.