created by Starrkis on 27/01/2025 at 22:08 UTC
18 upvotes, 9 top-level comments (showing 9)
Hi again everyone, welcome! Now that we’ve got enough members for a solid house party, I wanted to get some posts going. I think the story of how u/liquidhonesty met his wife is wonderful and it’s one of my favorite questions to ask couples. For us DINKS would some of you mind sharing your story as well? I know not every SINK wants to get married so if you have a Childfree Christian bestfriend I’d love to hear how yall met. That’s something me and Josh have struggled with. With that said, here's my (34f) story.
I wanted to marry a Christian man(70% of the male population probably gone just because of that but I’ve tried the whole unequally yoked thing and it ended in heartbreak), who was truly childfree(another 20ish% gone), loves cats(cat dads are getting more popular but they weren’t as much 3 years ago and I’m not a dog person), and very attractive. Needless to say I knew my standards were high and unique and because of that my options veryyyy limited. But I also knew in my heart I would eventually be married, that he’d be younger than me(gut feeling), and I knew I couldn’t compromise. Been there, done that. Not worth it. *My ex was childfree but not a Christian (🚩) and a dog person.*
Lonnng story short. I got on Bumble and opened my search to an hour away, put childfree and Christian on my profile, and 3 months after turning 30, God gave me Josh. The epitome of my wish-list. Complete with his own cat, 5 years younger than me, and a Christian who knew he didn’t want kids at 5 years old and told his dad as much when he was 10. He even got a vasectomy to prove it before we got married. We’ve only been married for 2 and ½ years but his consistency and 100% support of my ideas and goals is really impressive.
Tldr; Dating as a childfree Christian sucked but that’s mostly because I lowered my standards out of loneliness. I met my husband on Bumble right before turning 30 and he was everything I dreamed of.
Comment by 2corgosridinascooter at 28/01/2025 at 02:52 UTC
8 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I've known since I was a kid that I didn't want to have kids, though I did want to marry. I (now 37F) wasn't sure I'd be able to find a Christian man who was ok not having kids, but shortly after my 26th birthday, I met my now-husband. When we first started dating, he told me he wanted five kids 😂 I was like, yeah, no. I told him I didn't want any, and if I changed my mind, it would be only to adopt. He thought about it and decided he wasn't that sold on kids after all. Before we got engaged, I reminded him that kids were a break it thing for me and that if he had any inkling he wanted any, we needed to end it. He proposed to me a week later, and in a couple months, we'll celebrate our 10-year anniversary. I check in with him (36M) about it every now and then, and he is very content with our life and our many animals.
His parents have had a difficult time accepting our decision -- in fact, his mom gave a toast at our rehearsal and ended it with "and have lots and lots of grandkids!" which made everyone feel extremely awkward. But they have 12 grandkids between my husbands siblings so oh well. All our nieces and nephews remind us what our lives could have been like and make us very happy to come home to a "quiet" house (in quotes because we have corgis).
Comment by -DeVaughn- at 27/01/2025 at 23:51 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
The lowering standards thing is so tough for me, because I’ve known I was CF since I (M26) was 13, but have never met a woman that actively was pursuing the Lord while also being staunchly CF. I’ve fallen for women that were either CF but not Christian, or Christian but crazy about kids, and it’s caused a lot of problems. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s encouraging to hear that it’s worked out for someone else!
Comment by K80lovescats at 30/01/2025 at 01:27 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My spouse and I are both childfree and Christian but we didn’t start out childfree. I have a chronic illness, and I told him when we were dating that I might not be able to have a child but still probably wanted one. We had to be super careful about birth control usage because a lot of my meds can cause birth defects in babies. So for years we were hyper paranoid and I would have panic attacks when my period was late. Then our friends started having kids and it clicked with me. I don’t want kids. So I nervously broached the subject knowing it was the opposite of what we had talked about before. My spouse was elated. He had never thought as a Christian that not having a kid was a possibility. Surely every woman he met would want one. Well I didn’t. And he didn’t. We’ve been married for 15 years. We’re both sterilized because I’m paranoid. Zero regrets.
Comment by No-Desk560 at 30/01/2025 at 02:58 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Sure, I’ll share my story. I met my husband at the age of 39. The first question he asked me was, “So, how many kids do you have?” he was so delighted when I said “none” that he yelled out “ Thank God because I really didn’t want to away from you.” we have been together ever since from day 1. I've never spent a day apart from him. Se la vie.
Comment by thebarberdrey at 30/01/2025 at 16:58 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My husband and I just fell into each other. I've always been absolutely staunchly childfree. I have no shame about it whatsoever, and have loudly proclaimed it since I was 5 years old. So I had absolutely no qualms discussing it. We met at a birthday party for a mutual church friend, and had a bad impression of each other right off the bat. All misunderstandings, like an enemies to lovers romcom . Eventually basically all our friends got married young, and there was a group of 4 of us who weren't married, so we all just hung out. Then we just fell into a relationship without discussing it, until 8 months in, he called me his girlfriend and I said "👌"
We've never wavered, and i don't think we ever even had a conversation about it, besides me saying, "If you change your mind and you wants kids, you can go impregnate someone else one day" But he's vasectomized so we good. Been together 10 years
Comment by AprilNight17 at 28/01/2025 at 00:09 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Congratulations!!! This gives me hope. I wonder if I should try Bumble?....
I've never really done online dating. 😕 I have mixed feelings about it, really (for myself). I've heard too many bad stories, and I'm kinda put-off about it. Maybe I should be more open?
Anyway, I am so glad to hear you found each other! ✨️💙
Comment by Acceptable-Pop-6248 at 31/01/2025 at 14:45 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Became a Christian in 2008. Married a Christian in 2011. Met in online dating. Medically couldn’t have a baby, diagnosed with recurrent miscarriages & infertility in 2020. High risk miscarriages that hospitalized me twice. We decided not to undergo IVF, fertility treatments etc….Officially childless.
In 2020 I met 4 childfree women at work & 1 childless. A year of working together, they helped change my outlook. I read books about being childfree, joined online groups. Saw the blessings in not having kids. I am 37F. Married for 13 years.
Comment by AshDawgBucket at 28/01/2025 at 02:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
After high school, I never really had any interest in dating Christian men or women. And they didn't have any interest in me, either. I wanted to have sex 🤷♀️
At the time I met my husband I also wasn't particularly interested in anything resembling Christian community, either, and hadn't been in over a decade. Also, when we started dating, I wanted kids (but was starting to shift on that). He already had kids (they're all grown up; I've never had a parental role with them).
Long story short, he didn't want any more kids (had a vasectomy long ago) and I decided to not have kids. We both happened to be Christian.
I never really dated as a childfree Christian... because I was never looking for Christians to date, and because I didn't solidify my decision to not have kids until a few years into my relationship with my spouse.
I got married at 37 after 4 failed engagements. I stayed in abusive relationships for far too long because it was drilled into me as an Evangelical that my only value was in being a wife and mother - beliefs i kept even after leaving. I wish I'd have decided sooner not to have kids, and then i wouldn't have wasted all those years or experienced all the abuse and violence.
Oh, and i have CF best friends, but they're not Christian.
(I'm used to people deciding i don't belong in CF community because my spouse happens to have kids that aren't mine... if this is going to be one of those spaces I'd prefer to find out and leave now, thanks.)
Comment by RedLanternScythe at 02/02/2025 at 17:51 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I can't really date. I'm catholic, and getting married means being open to children. Since dating is supposed to lead to marriage, I just don't do it. I haven't been on a date in over 20 years