https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/1j77yr9/foot_in_mouth_sunday/
created by WhyN0tToast on 09/03/2025 at 13:46 UTC
743 upvotes, 73 top-level comments (showing 25)
Just met my new neighbours who've bought the house next door, they asked why the previous renters moved.
"Oh they were just looking for somewhere better"
Managed to meet them and slag off their new house within 5 minutes, even for me that's impressive! Any better stories to make me feel less of a bag of shite?
Comment by Technical-Dot-9888 at 09/03/2025 at 14:04 UTC
477 upvotes, 5 direct replies
My child's school sent out an " anonymous" feedback survey... So I went for it.. As much as I could without swearing.. Few months later I got a call off the headteacher asking me if I'd like to come into school to discuss the answers to my questions fully.. And asked me why I answered "it was the lesser of the three evils in the area" to the question of "why did you pick this school" and " no wouldn't" when asked "if I'd be likely to recommend the school to others".. It was then that I realised it wasn't so anonymous and the headteacher told me my name was across the top of the form.
Comment by LazyEmu5073 at 09/03/2025 at 13:50 UTC
846 upvotes, 6 direct replies
My first ever full time job, about the third day, I told the girl I worked with that the "manager can be a miserable bitch at times". Girl says, "that's my mum".
Comment by BmuthafuckinMagic at 09/03/2025 at 14:09 UTC*
212 upvotes, 0 direct replies
First job decades ago in Tesco.
The regional operations manager did a night shift with us and said "Hi, I'm Dave" and I replied "Thanks, you too".
He laughed it off, but then the team for the next few months always replied to me with "thanks you too", no matter what I said!
Comment by poby- at 09/03/2025 at 15:14 UTC
141 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Moved into our new gaff and a neighbour popped round to introduce herself. Wife asked her “do you live at number 4?” to which she replies “no you live at number 4”
Comment by NaNaNaNaNa86 at 09/03/2025 at 14:17 UTC
116 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I once tried to give a pen to sign in to a guy with no arms. That was 12 years ago and i still think about it. His surname was Kalashnikov and he'd a birth defect. Lovely fella, made it fucking worse.
Comment by ClickworkOrange at 09/03/2025 at 14:09 UTC
238 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I saw your neighbours' post this morning
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/z5d0Sa7tSy
Comment by mondognarly_ at 09/03/2025 at 14:29 UTC
79 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I was once on the Tube after an NBA game at the O2 with a couple of mates, and there was another bloke who had a foam finger. Mate nodded at him and said "Those hands used to be bigger, didn't they?" and then we all noticed that the man with the foam finger also had a withered hand.
Comment by miz_moon at 09/03/2025 at 15:25 UTC
81 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I was an extra/chorus in the school play when I was in year 7. We were doing grease and I knew one of the pink ladies but none of the t-birds because they were all in the years above. I’d just had my makeup done (I hated it) and I nipped to the loo, I saw one of the t-birds come out of a cubicle and she had comically thick, dark brows. I said to her ‘I’m glad I’m not a t-bird because I’d cry if someone did that to my eyebrows’ and she looked me dead in the eyes and said ‘I haven’t had my makeup done yet’.. I’ve never put my foot in it worse in my life haha
Comment by GosmeisterGeneral at 09/03/2025 at 13:53 UTC
253 upvotes, 12 direct replies
I met someone else from Essex at uni and got very excited. Naturally, slip of the tongue, I slagged off Basildon.
Only to find out she was from Basildon. Whoops. So I said “oh don’t worry, at least you’re not from Pitsea” (the rougher bit of Basildon).
She was dressing it up before, she actually was from Pitsea. So for some reason I went one step further and said “well at least you’re not from Vange” (the bin fire of a roundabout next to Pitsea).
Guess where she was actually from? We did joke about it, but yeah I felt awful and stopped slagging off towns after that.
Comment by applepiezeyes at 09/03/2025 at 14:27 UTC
137 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Friend was showing me some before and after photos of their recent house renovation. The bathroom suite was a horrid deep pink with matching tiles. I said 'ew that's awful glad you modernised that monstrosity.' As you can guess, that WAS the modernisation. ..
Comment by seefroo at 09/03/2025 at 16:01 UTC
63 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Not sure if it fits entirely: I was born in Aberdeen but moved around a lot as a kid, but did end up back in Aberdeen for secondary school. So Aberdeen is what I know, so even though my accent is basically “English but you can’t pin down a region”, I still tell people I’m “from Aberdeen”.
This is always met with “you don’t sound like you’re from Aberdeen”, which means I then have to explain the above. I have no connection to anywhere else (at least at the time), Aberdeen was what I knew about and could talk about… the place I had lived in longest was Great Yarmouth near Norwich, but only for 2-3 years.
Anyway I got talking to an English guy outside a bar in Sydney when I was backpacking in Australia. He said “so where are you from?”
I was bored of having to explain the whole thing so I just said, “Great Yarmouth, near Norwich”.
He was of course from Great Yarmouth himself, and immediately started asking questions about the things you talk about when you’re from the same place. Which of course we weren’t, and after bumbling through the conversation for a few minutes with him becoming increasingly suspicious about my nonsense answers, he eventually said “are you really from Great Yarmouth?”
“No, I only lived there for two or three years as a young kid to be honest”
“Then why say you’re from Great Yarmouth?! Where are you actually from?”
“Aberdeen”
“Oh, you don’t sound like you’re from Aberdeen”
I think I just rolled my eyes at him and walked off. Sorry Great Yarmouth bloke, you seemed like a nice guy, wasn’t your fault 😂
Comment by takemeawayimdone2 at 09/03/2025 at 15:51 UTC
112 upvotes, 4 direct replies
No one will beat mine.
Years ago I bumped into a girl I knew from secondary school and she had just had a baby. I didn’t see her for 6 month or so and she was in pub without the baby. I made a joke saying “have you lost your baby?” Meaning did you forget your baby at shop etc. Nope turns out her baby had died from SIDS. I’ve lived with that guilt for 20 years. Can never forget her face when I said that.
Comment by vikingraider47 at 09/03/2025 at 17:08 UTC
58 upvotes, 1 direct replies
A while ago I bloke i work with ,who has a bad stammer, dropped a box of penguins biscuits on the floor. I said without thinking, 'you're going to have to pppp pick all those pppp penguins up'. I immediately realised my mistake and tried to gloss over it by saying 'you don't see that advert on tv anymore'. I couldn't get away quick enough
Comment by crgoodw at 09/03/2025 at 14:19 UTC
110 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Not me. But my sister used to work in First Class on British Airways and asked a ludicrously famous blind musician if he would "like to have a look over the menu".
Comment by Emergency-Aardvark-6 at 09/03/2025 at 14:26 UTC
50 upvotes, 7 direct replies
I said orgasm instead of organism at school. Doubt I was the first but will never forget being laughed at (quite rightly tbf), by the whole class.
Comment by -FangMcFrost- at 09/03/2025 at 14:39 UTC
52 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Someone I used to work with was complaining about children as we were all getting ready to leave work and he started slagging off kids names that are uncommon along with the parents that give their kids those names.
He then mentioned a name and said that it was a stupid name and began stereotyping the type of parents that would give their son that name, to which the woman who had just started working with us around two weeks before said "Erm, that's my son's name".
The awkward silence that followed was indeed quite awkward.
Comment by DentistLoose9490 at 09/03/2025 at 14:02 UTC
102 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I once asked a woman with one arm if she wanted a hand with her shopping. Judging by the look on her face she wasn't having a good day.
Comment by Even_Passenger_3685 at 09/03/2025 at 13:51 UTC
213 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Just moved into our new gaff we’ve been saving years to afford! Met the neighbours who seem right cunts.
Comment by Muggerlugs at 09/03/2025 at 14:42 UTC
46 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Super senior management doing a site visit, one of them who I used to work for asked “where are you these days?” meaning what job role was I doing and I said “I’m here”.
I was so confused by myself I didn’t react quick enough to pretend it was a joke and they said ok and walked away.
Comment by smartief1 at 09/03/2025 at 15:59 UTC
39 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I used to run education sessions for health professionals about veteran health care, and always had a few veterans as speakers. I was always the last speaker before the tea break, and it was quite emotional. Finished my part and sat down to pull myself together. One of the guys that I didn't know came over to give me a hug, and then offered to make me a cup of tea.
"No it's ok" I say. "I've got legs" Without missing a beat he replies "Show off".
He was a below knee double amputee, with prosthetics. Wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. It stopped me crying at least. I explained that what was said I our house if you asked someone to do something, "you've got legs haven't you". He was great about it, proper dark humour, but I still cringe thinking about it.
Comment by SuzCoffeeBean at 09/03/2025 at 14:39 UTC
74 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Did a “see no evil hear no evil”. in real life.
Was wearing my headphones and a wee blind guy came up to me in the underground wanting help. I didn’t notice he was blind even though he had a stick and it was obvious once I realised. I said “sorry I can’t hear you” so he then thought I was deaf and started apologizing.
We sorted it out but it was mortifying.
Comment by Rob_Haggis at 09/03/2025 at 16:39 UTC
31 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I was running late for a booked train, which I had reserved seats on. Managed to make it by the skin of my teeth, stumbled through the mostly empty carriage to my booked seat only to find a gentleman already sat there.
“Excuse me mate, you are in my seat”.
Queue a big sigh, much shuffling and grumbling, before he stood up, retrieved his guide dog from under the seat and wandered off to the next carriage.
Comment by --BooBoo-- at 09/03/2025 at 16:38 UTC
25 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I bumped into an old work college in the supermarket and she had a rather large tummy - I vaguely remembered seeing a pregnancy announcement on FB at some point so cheerfully said " ohh you must be due soon" and then looked down and she was holding the hand of a small toddler and I suddenly realized the pregnancy announcement was a pretty long time ago"!
Conversation ended very quickly after that, but then we did that horribly awkward thing where we were going the same way round the supermarket and kept bumping into each other.
Comment by Taz1106v2 at 09/03/2025 at 18:21 UTC
26 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I once knew an older couple and the man deteriorated quickly and was in a wheelchair. Anyway...one day she told me he was going to dignitas in Switzerland next week.....I told him to have a nice time as I'd heard Switzerland was an amazing place to visit.
It wasn't until the following day when I said it to a friend that I realised what dignitas was
Comment by Working_on_Writing at 09/03/2025 at 13:59 UTC*
109 upvotes, 2 direct replies
My cousin and his wife had just moved into their new flat and were showing me around. We got to the kitchen, which was, in my defence, tiny. I mean only big enough for one person at a time. Of course, being an autistic young man, I just blurted out "oh that's awful, it's like a cupboard. You couldn't swing a cat in there!"
They thankfully burst out laughing as everyone else had gone in there and said bland things about how cozy it felt... Lesson learned, always find positive things to say about other people's property!
Another one that's etched in my brain was chatting to a colleague, we were getting on well, and he started talking about how the area was good for outdoor sports. For some reason, I decided that the best way to not pursue this line of conversation was to straight up say "oh I don't care at all about that." He didn't talk to me much afterwards...