Are people actually bad at texting??

https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/1h60n65/are_people_actually_bad_at_texting/

created by ImportantSpinach3558 on 03/12/2024 at 22:49 UTC

24 upvotes, 31 top-level comments (showing 25)

My friend was telling me that he met this girl and she talked to him alot there first time together . But whenever he's texting her it's like talking to a brick wall. Like a complete different person almost.

Is your texting different from in person talk or does it vary from person to person

Comments

Comment by Visit_Excellent at 03/12/2024 at 23:00 UTC

45 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Some people are better at communicating one way and bad at others. That's completely normal. Some people are reserved and shy in person, but talkative through text, etc. Vice versa as well

Comment by Azurlium at 03/12/2024 at 22:53 UTC

16 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Completely different for me, as with texting I cant read body language, or tone with 100% accuracy. Hard to know when something lands like a brick in the mud. At least in person I can pick up on most of these queues.

Comment by FancyPickle37 at 03/12/2024 at 23:07 UTC

11 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I’m terrible at texting! I don’t mind it for quick questions and making plans, but I’d much rather have long conversations over the phone or in person. I’m generally busy during the day and it’s hard to keep stopping what I’m doing to pick up my phone and text back. It’s not uncommon for me to ignore my phone for hours. I’d much rather dedicate time to a phone call or meet up where I can focus just on the person I’m talking to, rather than trying to keep up a convo through texts all day.

Comment by Open_Base_8502 at 03/12/2024 at 23:10 UTC

10 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I’ll read a text while I’m busy doing other things, then a few days later wonder why there’s no response. Oh yeah, I just responded in my head. I’m sooooo bad at texting.

Comment by dozennebulae at 03/12/2024 at 23:44 UTC

6 upvotes, 1 direct replies

my texting sounds like my talking (a lot of the same word choices, turns of phrase, sense of humor) but I take much, much longer to write texts and I think much, much more about writing vs talking. there are things I find difficult to say out loud, spontaneously, but I can do it in writing, where I have the extra time and no in-person pressure.

in terms of keeping up a texting conversation, I don't enjoy it. my responses/initial messages are well thought out but with several hours between.

I just can't text fast 😂 my IM days are over!

Comment by UsernameProfile10 at 04/12/2024 at 00:58 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I wish people would save up all the things they would text me during the day, and instead just call me in the evening when I'm not busy. I don't like texting at all. I'll do it cause sometimes you gotta, but it feels unnatural and I don't feel present in the conversation

Comment by DanceWithKiss12 at 03/12/2024 at 23:01 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

texting lacks tone and body language, so it’s easier for conversations to feel flat. could be that she’s just more comfortable talking in person...

Comment by spanky_rockets at 04/12/2024 at 01:12 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Texting is such a slow way to talk, the older I get the less I have time for it, plus I spend all day sending emails and teams chats.

Comment by Spyderbeast at 04/12/2024 at 01:57 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

The only time it really matters to me is in very emotionally charged situations.

I prefer to text. Yeah, highly unpopular. But I can temper my own responses better. And having known a gaslighter or two, I want that shit in writing

Comment by ToastemPopUp at 03/12/2024 at 23:02 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Not me, but my best friend is terrible at texting. I love her but she's so awful at getting back to you *and* she (usually) responds in a much shorter simpler way, or not at all, over text than she would in person.

Comment by Extra_Remote_3829 at 04/12/2024 at 01:22 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yeah, sure! I am not a big fan of texting, I prefer face to face talks and when not possible, we rather have a call. However I try to make this exception when it comes to my partner. I try as much as possible to text them ASAP when I see their text.

Comment by hornythrowaway9926 at 04/12/2024 at 01:54 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I suck at texting. I much prefer talking in person, even if it makes me more nervous! I’m told I’m a very blunt texter.

Comment by Supbuttercupp at 04/12/2024 at 06:49 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yes, I had a coworker that was genuinely so sweet, so kind and loving, but her texts were so dry, she wouldn’t indicate communication like in person… do you know when someone says they open up a lot more in text then irl? She was the opposite, the first time we texted I thought she was mad at me, then I realized her personality just didn’t “match” her texting tone

Comment by Selvadoc at 03/12/2024 at 23:27 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yes some are. No imagination

Comment by LadyNinaxxx at 04/12/2024 at 02:01 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

It’s one thing to be “bad” at writing, which I interpret as having spelling mistakes or bad writing. But if we think about it in another way, like being very talkative in person and then not so much through chat, yes, I am like that hahaha I think that the pandemic and using the cell phone so much destroyed my skills and desire to interact online hahaha but then in person I am super nice and I talk A LOT hahaha

Comment by Dcoolranch at 04/12/2024 at 02:04 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Too many distractions, if someone messages me while I’m scrolling through social media, it’s like the notification never came in

Comment by rn1990 at 04/12/2024 at 02:40 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yes - go off the in person vibe

Comment by Alycion at 04/12/2024 at 02:53 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Varies from moment to moment.

But overall, I don’t want to be stuck in a long text convo. Never have. I am just not that talkative unless if I’m feeding off of face to face energy or am on a sativa.

Comment by Moretti123 at 04/12/2024 at 05:00 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Okay I’m horrible at remembering to reply or finding the time too. It takes me FOREVER to respond to something because I have to re-read things cause I lose my train of thought a lot/ edit my responses in order for them to make the most sense. I also have to respond when I’m not doing ANYTHING otherwise I can’t focus. So usually at night time before bed. But then I get worried that I’m disturbing their sleep so I tell myself I’ll respond to them in the morning, and then of course I forget. Idk how to describe it. I hate texting, it involves too much energy and anxiety for me lol. 2 weeks could go by and I’m like oh fuck I never responded to them did I…. I very much prefer a phone call or in person

Comment by Drampcamp at 04/12/2024 at 05:02 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Bad testers exist, I’ve met a couple, and I’ve been one as well. There was this one girl I was talking to, and it physically hurt me to read her texting. Grammar was out the window. I had no idea what she was saying, it was hard to tell if she was asking a question, if she was happy, upset, etc.. I could probably find out texts, it was a serious nightmare

Comment by Duarte-1984 at 04/12/2024 at 05:03 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I delete a woman like that immediately if I notice that she ignores me after our conversations have been very good.

Comment by malagrove2028 at 04/12/2024 at 05:32 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

No.

They are just not that into you.

Comment by Due-Bonus1056 at 04/12/2024 at 05:41 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I used to be a bad texter, but then I just practiced and got good at. I always enjoyed talking to people IRL, texting was something I picked up later on.

Comment by Unlikely-Pianist-740 at 04/12/2024 at 08:06 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I find it easier to text because I be forming my sentences and can spend sometime to tweak it before I send it out and not regret it as much as I would if I just convey it verbally

Comment by Curl-the-Curl at 04/12/2024 at 08:41 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Some people are. They prefer calling. He could try that. But he should know if he likes texting she might not be the right person.