Anyone else just want to give up?

https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1iiujkp/anyone_else_just_want_to_give_up/

created by aftermath_of_ on 06/02/2025 at 04:43 UTC

28 upvotes, 5 top-level comments (showing 5)

I'm not talking about ending my life, but, in all honesty, I wish I was dead. At least then I wouldn't feel anything, anything at all, and I'd have a peace that I have never, ever felt in my entire life.

I'm honestly shocked, constantly, how I've made it this far with how much pain CPTSD causes.

I'm just so, so tired of being in fight / flight mode constantly, that I honestly haven't really been able to leave my bed for the last several days. Disability insurance due to depression ends soon, and I'm not sure I can cope going back and getting a full time job again. Just thinking about it makes me spiral.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here. Today was just a really rough day. And here I am, trying to get the weighted blanket and some tea to soothe me some, and just wishing for the end of it all, so I wouldn't have to fucking deal with this shit anymore.

Comments

Comment by zeroempathy at 06/02/2025 at 05:21 UTC

6 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I do. I just wish I could sleep forever. I'd love to have some peace but it always feels like impending doom instead.

Comment by NoseIssues at 06/02/2025 at 06:22 UTC

2 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I feel what you’re saying every second of my life, here’s what I wrote about it a few months ago:

“ There’s a place I imagine, an endless void where even the smallest trace of me disappears. No thoughts. No memories. No sound. Just nothing.

I don’t want peace the way people mean it. I don’t want comfort or warmth. I want to vanish. I want the stillness to swallow me whole until there’s no echo of what I was. No proof I ever existed.

The longing for it is unbearable. Every day feels heavier, emptier. Life feels like a punishment I never agreed to. The effort of existing is too much.

I don’t picture relief because relief requires feeling, and I don’t want to feel. That’s the point. I want the pain to stop, the noise to stop, the being to stop. I want to stop.

Even this longing is another weight to carry. But the idea of slipping into nothingness, of finally letting go, that feels like the closest thing to mercy I’ll ever know. “

Comment by redditistreason at 06/02/2025 at 11:02 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I just want to sleep. There's no valor in suffering life on this rotten planet.

Comment by AutoModerator at 06/02/2025 at 04:43 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

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Comment by AmoebaWise1585 at 06/02/2025 at 13:54 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

i feel the same way it’s hard for me to pretend to be happy all the time and mask my true feelings in front of my friends and family and whenever that mask starts to come off i try and put it back on as quickly as possible so no one truly sees how depressed i really am