https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1iipasp/im_so_sensitive_to_socializing_and_become_so/
created by Throwaway1984050 on 06/02/2025 at 00:17 UTC
420 upvotes, 29 top-level comments (showing 25)
It's so embarrassing. After just a few hours my cognitive abilities—processing, speech, and memory—rapidly decline. It's to the point where I make major social and technical mistakes at work and just am not able to perform typical work duties—planning, coordinating, remembering details to projects. I sometimes will say the completely wrong words or substitute words for similar ones without fully realizing it and others just can't understand what I'm saying. I become entirely fatigued and sometimes take days of rest to recover.
I don't know what to do. After five hours of work today I'm home now. I took a 20 minute nap and just am just laying here recovering from the overstimulation.
[And, for those who might think of this—I spent years researching into and assuming I've had CFS/ME but am now attempting to approach my symptoms from a perspective of CPTSD being a core cause of possible CFS/ME. This is completely taboo and mostly unwelcome in the r/cfs sub—there's a ton of stigma there towards the idea of nervous system and stress disorders resulting in physical illness].
Comment by Hallowed-spood at 06/02/2025 at 00:39 UTC
140 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I don't have answers but I do have the same problem.
I get tension headaches that don't seem to respond to any kind of pain medication. I get so fried that I can't think of words or put together a coherent sentence.
The only way I've managed to cope with the fatigue and overstimulation is rest. Long naps, dark rooms, etc. But that's difficult when you're working full time.
I'm baffled when people do things after work. I don't have that capacity at all. And I really struggle to do things on the weekends because I'm trying to rest. If I push and do things on the weekend, I end up having some kind of breakdown the next week because I didn't get the recovery time I needed.
I'm attempting self employment now, which is better, but money is an issue. I haven't reached a livable wage yet. If this doesn't work out, I'll try remote work because I simply cannot handle the socializing required in other jobs.
It bleeds into other areas of my life too. I can't work and maintain any kind of social life. I'm totally wiped from work. I keep hearing that I need to put myself out there to find friends, and I don't know how to accurately explain that I literally physically cannot do that.
Hobbies take energy I don't have. Exercise falls by the wayside because I'm simply too tired, and when I feel like a vegetable from work, the last thing I want to do is exhaust myself from exercise.
I wish I had a solution because it's really crippling.
Comment by remadeforme at 06/02/2025 at 01:48 UTC
64 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Lol my cptsd gave me a whole ass autoimmune disease that was not anywhere in my family line, I'm the only one with an autoimmune disease at all
Idk why it isn't more talked about
I've got nothing else for you, just support
Comment by Significant-Set-4959 at 06/02/2025 at 01:22 UTC
26 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I experience this too. I'm always amazed at people who leave work and still have any energy. It completely drains me, even just a few hours in.
Comment by walk_with_strangers at 06/02/2025 at 01:25 UTC
21 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I feel so seen. You’re not alone!
Comment by Traditional_Bit6913 at 06/02/2025 at 03:49 UTC
20 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm currently going to college, and I cry between classes because I'm extremely fatigued and stressed, and my whole body is in pain, and I just can't do it anymore. I look at my classmates who go out with their friends after 7 hours of class, and I'm like how?
Comment by redditistreason at 06/02/2025 at 01:06 UTC
17 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same dude, 32 hours is a big struggle as is. I don't think I'm going to make it through the year.
Comment by Alternative-Ad-4659 at 06/02/2025 at 02:19 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I feel exactly the same but I work retail. The overstimulating environment drains me and I have dropped back my hours to part time due to the extreme fatigue. Therefore financial struggles abound.
Comment by obiwantogooutside at 06/02/2025 at 07:13 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
If socializing is taking that much out of you, it did that to me. Turned out I’m autistic. It’s worth ruling out at least.
Comment by tatertotsnhairspray at 06/02/2025 at 02:07 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have this too. In fact, I work four different part time teacher jobs to get around this issue(not that any of them are offering full time anyway). But so I work at each for no more than 6-8 hours at a time, usually around 1-3 hours of heavy people work and then the rest of the time is traveling and preparing for the sessions etc, but then the rest of my day is just me traveling listening to music or an audio book. It sucks because I still don’t make enough to live on and have to get financial assistance from the govt(til Leon Skum and his MAGAt goons are gonna come to take it away 😬) but it at least kind of gets me through without completely shutting down. Some days I still get completely overwhelmed by it all though and need several hours to recover after a session. I’m in a bit of overwhelm rn actually bc it hit me today that even though I genuinely love teaching, it’s so hard to have to be “on” all the time and it’s a lot of managing people’s weird hang up’s and stuff. So I feel ya OP with just. Being completely sidelined by having to deal with all of that. People are great to be around til they’re not and then it’s freaking draining
Comment by Adrok78 at 06/02/2025 at 02:10 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
i resonate in different ways. after a lifetime and now 5 yrs of severe chronic pain - finally feel like i have the appropriate information and education to investigate this also. carefully.. treading very lightly..
my previous attempts to look at my trauma and how its manifests in numerous ways was a disaster. I had part of the story, part of the education but not all. yet i was told i had all the answers/keys.
so i applaud you for trying something different, potentially stigmatizing etc totally get this.
one thing i have 100% learned as a truth for me. its the physiological things that i do that can create a calmer and less anxious state. its in the body that the change takes place. being so terribly sick and tired for a prolonged time now that i have no other option than to try and work this out. i cant live the way i used to. its hard work - but better than being frozen with fear, overwhelmed, highly anxious, physically sick and being a prisoner to our illness. if by some chance you stumble on to something that is freeing. that's the magic I'm after.
(previous long addiction history before chronic pain and medical trauma/gaslighting for years. TMD/TMJ/facial pain and debilitating tension and ice pick headaches. also thought i may have CFS/ME - TN/ON/FM etc etc
Comment by Apprehensive-Sun5560 at 06/02/2025 at 08:51 UTC
6 upvotes, 2 direct replies
It is like I would read my own life... You are not alone.
Comment by Prestigious_Media401 at 06/02/2025 at 05:46 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I get this! I fully believe it's from cptsd and not something else. In my old job I had to really adopt the mindset of no one cares enough about me to notice how much I mess up at times and try to believe it as much as possible. As I became more comfortable in the job it became easier and I didn't mess up as much but I did have some days where I was a mess. It was a minimum wage job so that helped a lot since there was less pressure. On good days I made sure to be as sociable as I could with my coworkers and I ended up turning work into a safe space as I got on well with most people that worked there, but it took a long time.
I left that job for a better paying one last year and had to start again. I still mess up a lot a year later, not big things but small things like what you say with saying the wrong words and not remembering correct details etc. I'm convinced my coworkers must think I'm stupid. Even so, people have treated me far worse than my coworkers can treat me in a work setting so I don't struggle too much in that way, and as I work there longer the more comfortable I get and the less I mess up. I also laugh at myself and apologise in a jokey way if I do keep messing up, especially if I start slurring my words or stuttering as I do when it's really bad.
I also struggle with having energy a lot of the time and one thing that helps me is doing things when I'm able to and trying not to stress when I can't. I also eat healthy, take vitamins and try to reduce my work load as much as I can. I also have celiac disease so I don't eat gluten and this makes it both easier and harder at times, but I was 10x worse when I was eating gluten and didn't know I had it, so now things seem less difficult because I got through that.
I'm not fixed by a long shot but these things help me hold down a job 5 days a week and I've only had 3 days off sick in the last year which is really good!
Comment by trendcolorless at 06/02/2025 at 06:09 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I deal with something very similar.
(And FWIW, I’ve also looked into whether or not I have mild ME/CFS in the past, but I have ultimately concluded I think it’s just physical symptoms of my CPTSD. So I absolutely buy your theory that CPTSD could be a cause of yours.)
Comment by pungent_pan at 06/02/2025 at 08:02 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Yep. Me too. It’s a night & day difference. Starts off organized, on point, chipper and ends awkward, unable to hold conversation, or do simple things. I *need* 3 days off a week.
Bartending/serving was the hardest thing for me in that way. I’d also get panic attacks & disassociate during the rush from all the loud noise coming on at once / having to people please all day. I hated it so much I’d get blackout drunk after every shift, sometimes getting the party started on shift.
I’m sober now & work as a licensed massage therapist. It’s much better on my nervous system, very calming work, nice hours, & I run my own business so if someone makes me uncomfortable I just don’t rebook them! 😊
Comment by figcookiecapo at 06/02/2025 at 05:50 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m so sorry. This happens to me too, and I have yet to find accommodations that help. Unfortunately, a part time job doesn’t cover most people’s financial needs. It’s so rough.
Comment by Tricky_Incident_6017 at 06/02/2025 at 07:38 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Here to say you’re not alone, and it makes me feel affirmed that I am NOT crazy and this is a thing people are experiencing.
Comment by Good_Werewolf5570 at 06/02/2025 at 06:28 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Thank you for posting this.
Comment by orangebreado at 06/02/2025 at 07:27 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I second this. I have the exact same behaviours as you - my brain just simply doesn’t work anymore 3-4 hours into my job. My “embarrassment” also then turns into full on crying for hours at a time. I usually manage to hold this off until I get home, as I get even more embarrassed if my colleagues were to see me crying in the middle of the work day.
I’ve realised that 4 hours into my day, I’ve already started to withdraw myself from conversations. After work, I need to be completely away from people and take at least an hour long nap to recover for the day. I’m married and also have a toddler at home, so on days where I don’t get my proper rest, I physically cannot function and have to get my husband to step in to help with caretaking. I’m really lucky to have such a great support system, but I share your sentiments on how exhausting it can be, especially when facing it alone.
Comment by hotheadnchickn at 06/02/2025 at 01:31 UTC
2 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Can you get WFH as a disability accommodation?
Comment by ExcitingPurpose2018 at 06/02/2025 at 10:16 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I know this feeling. It's awful and I don't feel functional and can't shake it. I'm trying to figure out how to do freelance and remote work but I'm at the very start of the process and I don't really have any idea what I'm doing and even the thought about being around people for long periods is too much.
Comment by onyxjade7 at 06/02/2025 at 11:54 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
What’s CFS:ME?
Comment by Temporary-Swan-4793 at 06/02/2025 at 12:06 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Oh I can ABSOLUTELY relate. I am completely wiped out if I have to socialize more than a few times per week. I even work remotely and I'm STILL wiped out by the end of the day.
For me, some of this is AuDHD but probably CPTSD is a factor as well, mostly from all the masking and sensory overload.
Comment by asteriskysituation at 06/02/2025 at 12:45 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Have you been assessed formally for neurodivergence? Your description of running out of social energy and ability to “mask” unwanted social behaviors rapidly deteriorating sounds familiar to me as a person being assessed for autism. ADHD can also come with similar masking. There’s a lot of overlap - for me, the way I knew it was ND is because I treated my trauma and those symptoms got much better, but difficulty socializing for longer periods has stayed the same.
Comment by Stillnopickless at 06/02/2025 at 13:38 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Thank you for sharing, because I have the same exact problems and I felt for the longest time that this was just an issue with me. I got so burned out working retail after years and I realized that my only support was my overworked adrenal glands that kept me moving. Now that I have an office job, I’m always making mistakes and forgetting processes, details, and terminology. I then shame spiral when I get too overwhelmed to respond to emails and messages bc I don’t feel confident to remember what I’m talking about and I get in trouble bc I’m afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t help that some people on my current team are old rude bitches who act like I committed a crime over fixable mistakes, but even nice coworkers I’m afraid to talk to or just too tired to think up responses. Basic emails will take me over an hour to write sometimes.
I’m here looking for tips too, but thank you for sharing and know you’re not alone! 🫶
Comment by Leethefairy at 06/02/2025 at 16:26 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Also look at vitamin and mineral deficiencies, especially vitamin D, magnesium, iron and B12.