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View submission: Experience of duality and self during meditation
My experience can be described as anti–Sam-Harris
He didn't make it up lmaos. he's rather talking about anatta, no-self.
What you mean is non-nonself. i.e. in your pain you solidified your sense of self on the double so you could resist it
If you went the other direction I suppose you could have merged with the pain. Or you could have suffered it completely through and let it be.
Reminds me of the work colleague in the same team as me, who was getting so stressed as our work piled up that she dreamt of a pack of lions chasing after her, and as they caught up she fought and kicked at them with all her might, until she physically started kicking in the non-dream world and woke herself up.
Funny enough, those weren't realistic African lions, but lion dance lions (舞獅 in mandarin) — another colleague googled dream omens and confirmed those were actually *auspicious* omens. At that point I just was like, look. Stop fighting. Just let yourself get caught, they're trying to bless you. But you keep fighting and kicking and resisting.
Stop resisting lmaos. Not that you are supposed to bear pain, or damage your body or anything — do your part to ensure you actually protect and take care of yourself. Commonsense comes first before uncommon sense, before any supernormal wisdom. But after that? Stop resisting. Stop fighting. No one ever heard of a meditation where your main practice is to resist until you got a shining invincible core inside you that can supposedly resist everything — even if you succeed in that and feel impervious, when you die it will fall through anyways and then you will be in trouble.
There's nothing here!