https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1ihbp57/terminally_egotistical/
created by No-Preparation1555 on 04/02/2025 at 06:40 UTC*
2 upvotes, 6 top-level comments (showing 6)
I am looking for specific meditations and/or Buddhist advice on selfishness and egotism.. even when I am kind outwardly I find myself being judgmental and unkind in my head. I wallow in self-pity and I both hold myself higher than others and lower than others in different aspects. I feel deeply disturbed by everything that I am not that I feel I should be, and I feel very proud when I am praised and i rely on it, to a point i feel is pathological. I am self centered and it haunts me to no end because I am constantly thinking about what I should have in life already and how far along I should be and I have disappointed myself—and I feel I struggle a lot to just be present with people and the world when I am always worrying about myself. It is a crazy thing isn’t it—just totally insane that this can drive someone to suicidal ideation—it’s all based on lies but it feels so real… it’s not that I’ve done anything horrible in my life but I feel I have greatly underachieved as far as I could have—and I feel guilt around it—and there is so much love and beauty in the world to enjoy outside of the trip of trying to be somebody, and yet this is making me so depressed and inconsiderate of a person. Lately i can’t even make myself meditate. I just get so frustrated watching myself be this way, I almost don’t want to be self-aware.
Comment by AlexCoventry at 04/02/2025 at 06:45 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Comment by damselindoubt at 04/02/2025 at 07:06 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You sound like an ideal recruit for a Bodhisattva training. It’s all about ungluing your sticky mind from your “self” and gradually loosening that self-centred grip. By “gradually,” I mean it could take anywhere from today, a few years, or, you know, several lifetimes. So no pressure, you're in charge of the timeline here.
Comment by BlueUtpala at 04/02/2025 at 07:16 UTC*
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Tonglen https://www.tibetanbuddhistencyclopedia.com/en/index.php?title=Tonglen[1][2]
1: https://www.tibetanbuddhistencyclopedia.com/en/index.php?title=Tonglen
2: https://www.tibetanbuddhistencyclopedia.com/en/index.php?title=Tonglen
It's advisable to receive guidance from a lama for this practice.
Comment by mtvulturepeak at 04/02/2025 at 06:54 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Conceit has a specific meaning in the suttas, but there are still some useful things here https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#conceit-maana[1][2]
1: https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#conceit-maana
2: https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#conceit-maana
Also try https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#arrogance[3][4]
3: https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#arrogance
4: https://index.readingfaithfully.org/#arrogance
Comment by Kitchen_Seesaw_6725 at 04/02/2025 at 09:25 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Two mantras:
1. "Buddho"
2. "Tadyatha gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha"
You can recite them as many times as you like until you feel satisfied.
Comment by genivelo at 04/02/2025 at 11:16 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The lojong slogans were taught exactly for that kind of situation.
https://www.shambhala.com/lojong-mind-training/
The lojong slogans are a set of sayings we can use to train ourselves to understand and act in accordance with compassion and wisdom. Many are very practical, like “Don’t ponder others’ flaws”, or “Don’t be irritable”. Others require some contemplation (“Meditating on delusory perceptions as the four kāyas is the unsurpassable śūnyatā protection”).
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/topics/lojong/
How to practice them:
https://www.reddit.com/r/vajrayana/comments/zqt3d8/comment/j10hgmb/