https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/1iau7rr/hes_seeking_female_1939/
created by Wide_Armz on 26/01/2025 at 23:49 UTC
224 upvotes, 103 top-level comments (showing 25)
Hello, I recently joined a dating site and matched with a guy, we started talking and hitting it off, he's really attractive and saying he's having a hard time finding dates, but taking a second look at his profile, I see it says he's seeking a female 19-39. (He's 34)
I'm 39 yrs old turning 40 in 6 months with no kids. When I enquired he says it's because "he wants to start a family and its difficult for women to have kids after 39". I personally know women well into their 40s who have gotten pregnant and had kids and for some reason I was personally insulted and put off by this comment. Am I being too unreasonably and picky?
Comment by TokkiJK at 27/01/2025 at 00:21 UTC
403 upvotes, 1 direct replies
If he wants to start a family, why would he go for a 19 year old lmao.
He also has it 19-39 bc he just wants to get some with anyone that will sleep with him.
Comment by Bright_Cut3684 at 27/01/2025 at 00:08 UTC
1463 upvotes, 4 direct replies
A 34 year old man does not want to “start a family” with a 19 year old.
Let him go.
Comment by Fun_Orange_3232 at 26/01/2025 at 23:53 UTC
489 upvotes, 2 direct replies
🚩
Comment by FitnessBunny21 at 27/01/2025 at 00:16 UTC
290 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Cmon. Girl you know what’s up.
Block and keep it moving.
Comment by saltandsassbeach at 27/01/2025 at 00:19 UTC*
386 upvotes, 9 direct replies
I would be grossed out too and walk away. I was dating a guy (40) when I was like 33 and found out his last gf was 18. I've never been more repulsed. He was super sensitive about it and was like, "you have no idea what it's like out there for a man under 5'10"". So yeah, that was the end of that. It just told me all I need to know.
Comment by jorgentwo at 27/01/2025 at 00:10 UTC
118 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Eeew no. Guys like that are not emotionally developed, have objectifying views on women, and are also weirdly obsessed with aging themselves. That's also a big cliché line from the manosphere, shows you what his social media is like. Run.
Comment by -ElderMillenial- at 27/01/2025 at 00:50 UTC
166 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Bro wanted to put down "18" but thought "no, that would look creepy, let's go with 19"
Comment by somuchsong at 27/01/2025 at 00:41 UTC
57 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think you're not picky enough if that's your only issue with this guy. Any 34yo guy looking for a 19yo on a dating app is a creep.
Comment by FrankaGrimes at 27/01/2025 at 00:30 UTC
82 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Any 34 man seeking to date a woman who is 19 years old is just a walking red flag. And you know he put 19 because...the law.
Comment by BeJane759 at 27/01/2025 at 00:31 UTC*
37 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Ewwwwwwww!!! No. You don’t start dating someone who has only “technically” been an adult for ONE YEAR because you want to “start a family”.
ETA - my sister unintentionally got pregnant in high school, and when her son was 19, she was 37 - only three years older than this guy, who is looking to *sleep with* someone that age. The gap at that age is really, really huge.
Comment by haiblueskies at 26/01/2025 at 23:55 UTC
48 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Nope! Sounds like a giant red flag and asshat to me!
Comment by crimsonraiden at 27/01/2025 at 00:25 UTC
42 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The fact his lower end age is 19 is disgusting
Comment by serialhybrid at 27/01/2025 at 00:01 UTC
66 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Don't pick him. He's a shitgibbon.
Comment by Saiph_orion at 26/01/2025 at 23:54 UTC
85 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Lol he'd much prefer a young, hot lady that he can manipulate than a 39 year old.
If he wanted a fully-formed, strong, capable adult, he wouldn't have that huge of an age gap.
And it has *nothing* to do with wanting to start a family.
He's gross and you'll dodge a bullet by not engaging with him any further.
Comment by ModerateSympathy at 27/01/2025 at 00:17 UTC
28 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Yeah, that a hard pass for me. Men who date age appropriate women is a requirement for me. It tells a lot about them. All of the good, stable men I know are with women their age. The ones with women decades younger or who prefer women decades younger, either have diagnosed mental health issues or are just terrible people/partners.
Comment by lithelinnea at 27/01/2025 at 01:09 UTC
40 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A grown man *willing to date an actual teenager* is a predator in my book.
Comment by morbidconcerto at 27/01/2025 at 00:42 UTC
23 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Gross, please see this for the red flag that it is!
The real reason his age range is set so low is that younger women are easier to coerce. Especially with him coming out the gate with "I want to start a family soon and women expire at 40". He wants someone either naive or with low standards that he can knock up and take control of. I'm getting "women should only be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" vibes from this guy. I know you've just gotten into this dating site and matches are exciting, but please pass on this one so that you can find a guy that values you as a person and not just an incubator 💜
Comment by Caramellatteistasty at 27/01/2025 at 02:14 UTC
25 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its nice when they admit to being gross right away. This is a very red gross flag.
Comment by ChefOld6897 at 27/01/2025 at 00:21 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Weird fuck. You’ll find much better trust me.
Comment by ProperBingtownLady at 27/01/2025 at 00:58 UTC*
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Some of the comments on this sub have been pretty odd in the past couple of weeks. I know there tends to be more conservative activity after elections and such but 🧐.
Also, lol at the person (presumably a man) who is paying real money to award the comments in support of the man in question.
Comment by bluejellies at 27/01/2025 at 00:28 UTC
22 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I don’t care if his upper limit is 85. A grown man chasing barely legal teenagers is repulsive.
Comment by greenvibrance at 27/01/2025 at 01:43 UTC
18 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Sounds like you should *stop* talking to this guy and *up* your standards.
I don’t care how cute he is. He’s a waste of time.
Comment by Big-ol-Cheesecake at 27/01/2025 at 03:41 UTC
14 upvotes, 0 direct replies
To make it even better, men who decide to father children later in life are much more likely to pass on adverse health conditions to their offspring so it’s clearly not just women 🥰 let him be a dirt bag and continue struggling
Comment by catathymia at 27/01/2025 at 01:09 UTC
14 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Is it bad that I actually think it's sort of surprising that he was willing to even date older? The norm I've always seen is a man of 34 setting his age range from 18-33 or something. But yes, I see that frequently with men who say they're having a "hard time dating." And no, you are not being picky, someone of his age being willing to date a teen is a red flag.
Comment by [deleted] at 27/01/2025 at 00:37 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This person is not for you. You know that, I know that, we all know that. Sure, he could be hot as fuck, sure he could be everything you think you want, but it's not what you deserve. You deserve more.
Move on.