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created by [deleted] on 25/01/2025 at 19:13 UTC
1232 upvotes, 72 top-level comments (showing 25)
[deleted]
Comment by Coconosong at 25/01/2025 at 20:03 UTC*
1789 upvotes, 6 direct replies
Your goal/hobby should be community building this year. Join a dog’s meet up group to make friends. Join a sports team or an art class. Volunteer for something you believe in. Get in the habit of inviting people over for dinner. Start slow.
Comment by Dry-Result-1860 at 25/01/2025 at 20:22 UTC
622 upvotes, 9 direct replies
Unpopular opinion? Go *DEEPER* into Grandma life. Me, at 34, desperately wants to go deeper but finances prevent this. Do what I can’t, brave soldier.
HEAR ME OUT THO:
Start an herb and flower garden. Pick up knitting or crochet or watercolor- anything fine motor to do with your hands.
Worried about the dogs while you’re on a trip? Buy an RV, girl. Take them with you. Get one of those National park passes and invite a few friends to do a spring/summer road trip a few times a year. That way you can take everyone with you, still see things, go visit the friends that have moved away…
Idk. That’s what I would do if I had the means. Live my dream for me, I’m in environmental science. ITS TOO LATE FOR ME
But I hope you go wine tasting in Napa with the dogs and a few girlfriends…like a sex and the city off shoot.
Comment by LateNightCheesecake9 at 25/01/2025 at 22:53 UTC
93 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Girl, my grandma wasn't sitting around at home. She had a robust social life until an autoimmune disease led to her decline and eventual death. But you need to be intentional- try a run club or yoga studio, a book club, Meetup etc.
Comment by Active_Recording_789 at 25/01/2025 at 20:59 UTC
88 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Here’s a few more suggestions: 1) do yoga or Pilates or join a run club. I’ve noticed that the same women come to the same class and we are exercise friends, sort of. Ask a couple of them out for coffee and make friends. 2) join a dog sports or obedience training program if your dogs are the type. Mostly females attend, I’ve noticed. 3) join or start a book club. There are all kinds and the one my friends belong to should be called wine club lol. Occasionally a book is mentioned. 4) have you ever been interested in joining the Big Sister program? Not sure if they operate where you live but it’s a cool program to mentor young people 5) take an evening class through your local community college or rec center. They have all kinds and they’re often fun social events
Comment by wifeski at 25/01/2025 at 21:21 UTC
59 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Bumble BFF has afforded me several awesome lady friendships that have lasted
Comment by Unleashed_Chaos_ at 25/01/2025 at 22:11 UTC
41 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Yes and I've been here a while. Had relationships here and there but my grandma life has been here for years and here to stay!! I'm 42 now.
I also have two dogs that are very demanding of my time (which I gladly give 🐾) and WFH. Single with a teenaged child who deems me worthy of a hello every now and then.
I have loads to keep me busy though! My house is a jungle with all my houseplants, my dogs and walking, reading, gaming, other hobbies.
It's peaceful. I can go out if I want (I don't!), work on my house, take my dogs out, drag my kid into something like a hike or whatever, curl up in bed and read. Whatever I want. No one is taking my peace away again.
You've had some great advice and I'm an introvert who doesn't seek company so I'm not exactly best placed to give it...but I really hope you find your happy, your peace. Do what you want because *you* want to.
Comment by Additional_Country33 at 25/01/2025 at 20:37 UTC
51 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Try volunteering! It’s so so gratifying and you will meet friends and life will feel good and purposeful again. Whether it’s with animals or people or perhaps a farm, give it a shot
Comment by Simplysimple007 at 25/01/2025 at 20:55 UTC
64 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I did the very millennial thing and signed up for a half marathon lol. Training has kept me occupied so I can reach my goal of finishing the race.
Comment by DecentTumbleweed5161 at 25/01/2025 at 20:14 UTC
77 upvotes, 7 direct replies
You should get a roommate or two
Comment by MrsMitchBitch at 25/01/2025 at 20:53 UTC
37 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Embrace the grandma and join the knitting circle at your local yarn shop.
Take lessons at the local music shop to enhance your piano abilities.
Join a gym and take the exercise classes or go to the gym at the same time on the same days.
Sounds like your new hobby is getting out of the house and making new friends! When I was WFH during COVID, I realized I would go days without leaving my neighborhood, except to pick up my daughter from daycare and I was so depressed. I had to force myself to rejoin my local track club, call friends to take walks or runs…it was hard at first but so necessary for my mental health.
Comment by queentee26 at 25/01/2025 at 21:00 UTC*
14 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'd start with trying to find some group hobbies this year. Even just post on social media or a local buy/sell group if anyone is wanting to go on dog walks together (assuming your dog is friendly).
Volunteering at events around your city might also lead to potential new friends. You can consider looking for a roommate - just be careful with your screening.
I don't really think you can fix the fact that your pets dictate your schedule.. that's the reality of having active dogs, unless you're going to outsource some of your pet care.
I will also note that having connections with others is important and I think we have a major lack of community.. but enjoying individual hobbies and spending time with yourself also isn't a bad thing.
Comment by First-Industry4762 at 25/01/2025 at 23:20 UTC
13 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I mean, how is this different from the problems you face when you rent a place? Barring the major expenses on your account, you're basically now choosing to be dependent on your family for filling your social needs.
You're not bound to your house; you can go out and do stuff either solo or meet new people. You just need to do it and not immediately go to your parents whenever you feel lonely.
Comment by WaitingitOut000 at 25/01/2025 at 21:19 UTC
26 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Check out the local doggie daycares/boarding facilities in your area and get your dogs used to going occasionally. If you want to get out and meet new friends, travel and participate in activities, you need the freedom to do so. Believe me, 20 yrs from now you won’t regret the opportunites you seized to be happy (even the ones that don’t work out). You’ll only regret the opportunities you missed because you felt you couldn’t leave your house.
Comment by notseizingtheday at 25/01/2025 at 22:18 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I did this from 32-35. I was tired.
Comment by wekawatson at 25/01/2025 at 23:44 UTC
41 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have a friend who's like you. On paper, everything is completely fine. Single, occasional travel, homeowner, have dogs, have wfh career, stuck at home alone most days of the year.
I dig a little deeper, she's carrying years of trauma, resentment, loneliness, envy for friends who seem to get it together. On a lunch catch-up with her, she also randomly breaks down like full on tears about the death of a parent over a decade ago!
Whatever load it is you are carrying, please get counselling. Life is meant to be lived. Dogs are there for you, not the other way around. Find your purpose and aim to live a meaningful life.
Comment by Mental-Weather3945 at 25/01/2025 at 21:33 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yep, quite similar but I just accepted it over time.
Comment by FaithlessnessPlus164 at 26/01/2025 at 00:07 UTC*
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yep this was/is me too, but I’m 40 and bought my house in the middle of nowhere at 31. At first I loved going deep on all the old lady shit like renovating, growing veggies, making pickles, accumulating pets and keeping poultry, bees etc but after a few years I realised I’m too young to retire from my old life. I don’t want that for me! Life is all about balance, quiet and excitement are both necessary for me personally. I’m not arsed with international travel much anymore but I make sure I book lots of weekends away with friends for music festivals, gigs, raving, camping, general debauchery.. all the things make me feel alive like nothing else can so I can keep a little flame of the old me lit.
Comment by Neilans666 at 25/01/2025 at 22:00 UTC
16 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Wow are you me?
Comment by autotelica at 25/01/2025 at 20:54 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Get some roommates.
Comment by BaconPancakes_77 at 25/01/2025 at 21:11 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My husband and I got 2 dogs when we were 30 and as much as I loved them, I'm an extrovert and they really messed with our social life. Always having to run home from work to care for/spend time with them meant way fewer fun outings, and very little spontaneity. Like, having 2 kids is easier socially than having 2 dogs (cause you can take kids most places). Are you into the idea of hosting stuff? Maybe a book or movie club? I wonder if there's a hiking group that would let you bring dogs.
Comment by Dear_End_3046 at 25/01/2025 at 21:30 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
i was in this spot for the longest time. if youre open to it, a female roommate may be the solution to your problems. She may or may not be someone you can become friends with and rely on. If this is not something youre interested in, maybe try going out into your community more with your dogs (this is how ive made friends). A lot of coffee shops are very dog friendly nowadays and people may strike up a convo with you if they find your dogs cute! Or your dogs may play with another dog and the conversation may start there. Living alone can be super lonely but the good news is this feeling can come to a quick halt once you meet new people.
Comment by Spiritual-Winner-503 at 26/01/2025 at 11:59 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Congrats on the house purchase! That’s a major woman boss move. With the dogs too, that makes total sense. As a woman who also has a routine/life that revolves around 2 dogs, I embrace the grandma life at this time. I leave the house for yoga/pilates and to visit friends for a dinner or brunch at least 2x per month. I do live with my husband, so I have that extra layer of company that prevents me from FOMO feels. I started reading for fun and studying for a cert as well. Between work and limited weekend time, that’s a packed schedule.
In your equation, you’re just missing a hobby or two, social engagement outside of your family, and enjoying your peace. Many who don’t have an empty house envy you! Embrace the grandma life, save money, and do whatever you want (outside dog routine hrs) 😉
Comment by Ijustwannagrowplants at 26/01/2025 at 01:49 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Girl you don’t even know how good that you have it!! Enjoy your freedom and quiet time! Everything always changes that’s for sure. Don’t get rid of your house. Ever.
Comment by Equal_Marketing_9988 at 25/01/2025 at 21:43 UTC*
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Take some classes outside of the home. Dance, cooking, sewing etc. start a book club. Join your local library clubs. Many options! Recently I joined a local fb group that helps people in my local community find their missing pets. Today we spent a n hour or 2 walking around looking for some huskies that went missing. Met a lot of cool people.
Comment by EnragedPerson at 25/01/2025 at 23:56 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Good God you just described me