283 upvotes, 9 direct replies (showing 9)
View submission: 2024 US Post-Election Megathread
Trevor Noah has a part in his book about that phenomenon that seems too apt- *The traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women.*
I think part of the appeal is the control aspect/ changing a person to better suit your own needs. fucked up!!
Comment by becca_la at 06/11/2024 at 19:52 UTC
99 upvotes, 3 direct replies
They want us to start out as independent so we won't be dependent on *them*. Men really like the parts of feminism that benefit them directly, like the expectation that women work outside the home and bring in a paycheck to lighten their own financial burden. But then, once they have that independent woman, they see it as a challenge to bend her to his will. Like breaking a horse. I have, unfortunately, seen this behavior in both conservative and liberal men...
Comment by VastStory at 06/11/2024 at 18:57 UTC
143 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I have a theory that some men want a great woman (who doesn't). But since he can't improve her, he ruins her a little bit instead to show he has an effect at all. Like putting a stupid monument in nature or a tall skyscraper to pierce the skyline.
Comment by Charm1X at 06/11/2024 at 20:31 UTC
23 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I learned this the hard way with my ex. I was very available and giving towards him, and it lead me to getting cheated on with no prospect of marriage. I genuinely believe he did not like the task of being dependable and responsible.
He wanted to be an independent man with a wife. I’m so glad I came to my senses. I will never make myself available for a man like that again.
Men do not respect femininity. They love masculinity, even in women. Giving men my masculine energy has caused me less grief.
Comment by Keyspam102 at 06/11/2024 at 19:31 UTC
40 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I think it’s the ‘conquering’ of a woman to make her subservient that they get off on, so a more independent woman is a bigger victory
Comment by Impossible-Bee5948 at 06/11/2024 at 20:13 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Oh wow…
ETA: this is so interesting and so true. Did not want “oh wow” to sound dismissive!
Comment by Present-Pudding-346 at 07/11/2024 at 03:11 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It’s because men choose women to impress other men. They want a supermodel with a PhD because that’s what would be impressive to other men. However, they don’t actually want to live with or deal with someone with agency, who is too busy to cater to their needs, or who would have the ability to leave them, so they then start to chip away at her. They still get to introduce their spouse and brag about her qualifications but don’t need to deal with the reality of an equal partner.
Comment by alpacaMyToothbrush at 06/11/2024 at 19:06 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
What's the title of the book? I might add to my TBR
Comment by more_pepper_plz at 08/11/2024 at 16:32 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yep. A man feels more powerful if he has power over a powerful woman.
Fucking losers.
Comment by UnassumingOstrich at 14/11/2024 at 08:23 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
there’s a certain kind of man who specifically seeks out strong independent women *because it is more fun for them* to bring the strong ones down.