created by workethic290 on 26/01/2025 at 18:04 UTC
117 upvotes, 77 top-level comments (showing 25)
Did you feel embarrassed and did you enjoy the experience why or why not?
Comment by bria-fox at 26/01/2025 at 18:28 UTC
228 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I left a 10 year relationship a month ago and have since moved back at 31. Home cooked meals are cool. Dad’s anger- not so much. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here
Comment by SilverFilm26 at 26/01/2025 at 18:40 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm 34 and live with my parents, I've lived in a few different places over the years, went away for college etc.
It's kind of embarrassing to tell people about it but I usually say I help my mom with my dad because he's had several strokes.
That is true but I more provide emotional support for my mom with that. My dad I mobile but just very different personality wise and just eats and watches TV 24/7.
Ive worked various jobs but nothing that could sustain me paying rent in the area we live. I don't have a career.
The house is big 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath, so we're not always on top of each other. I do all the cooking and take care of the cats.
Currently dealing with depression from losing the first stable job I thought I had.
Long story short, we get along well, it works for me financially, and it's fine.
Comment by cambiokeys at 26/01/2025 at 18:53 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I’m 35. I moved back in with my mother and younger sister at 30 because my sister was struggling with addiction to the point she almost died and my mother had retail therapied her way into not being able to afford her rent.
Things are better now, sister has been clean for 3 years and my mother is working and pays some of the bills.
It’s hard. We live in a 3 bedroom ranch-style house and the interior is basically like an apartment. Privacy is scarce and I haven’t really gotten to experience me in my thirties. I work, I work out, I walk my dog, I go to the grocery store. Money is tight.
I feel trapped.
Comment by indicatprincess at 26/01/2025 at 18:23 UTC
80 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I lived with them until about 30. I know plenty of people who still do, due to divorce or cost etc. I am more embarrassed by who they became after I left. I don’t think I ever could suck it up to live there again.
Comment by udntsay at 26/01/2025 at 19:27 UTC
1 upvotes, 2 direct replies
In my mid 20s I moved home and it was actually very healing. My mom and I have struggled to have a relationship, and that time was when we really joined forces. Sat out side and drank coffee together, ate dinner together. It was nice.
Now I’m 39, and my mom has come to stay with me for a week at a time. It feels nice when she visits. I will say, by the end of the week I’m ready to have my space back haha
Comment by aquamoonbvtch at 26/01/2025 at 19:42 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I would never feel embarrassed but that’s just because I have awesome and loving parents and a mom who loves to cook and make sure you’re warm and taken care no matter how old you are. A father who doesn’t hover and will always ask if you need anything or want to go for a walk ❤️
I feel for every single person who doesn’t have the emotional and mental support that they need. 💔
Comment by Ihadacow at 26/01/2025 at 18:26 UTC
63 upvotes, 5 direct replies
I moved back in with my mother when fleeing an abusive marriage. She offered to help me get back on my feet. I brought a woman home for dinner, and her homophobic ass had the pastor of her church turn me out onto the streets with all of my belongings stuffed in garbage bags. I lost custody of my child because of being homeless and a resulting suicide attempt. -200/10 Do not recommend.
Comment by Bietzsche at 26/01/2025 at 18:34 UTC
36 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Moved in and out after college and left for good at 29. I enjoyed the amenities but didn’t enjoy being treated like a failure.
Comment by iLikeTacosAndTequila at 26/01/2025 at 18:37 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
31 and came back after graduating university at 22. My job is in a VHCOL area and I live right outside of it. My mom likes to cook so home cooked dinners are nice. My dad is currently injured so it's nice being able to help out immediately. I pay $300 monthly and if we go out, my siblings and I cover the cost. I made the mistake of over spending for a few years but now I'm able to save at least 1k a month with minimal-moderate spending. It's not a bad living situation at all and I'm grateful to be able to continue living here as an adult.
Comment by kerningtype at 26/01/2025 at 19:31 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm 31 and honestly I don't mind it, sometimes it would be nice to have some privacy. It can be embarrassing a little when people ask about my current living situation, I just make up an excuse like I'm saving up for my own house if the convo goes that deep.
Comment by QuantumPlankAbbestia at 26/01/2025 at 20:00 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Imagine a house, run by four independent equally contributing adults who love each other. The dream.
I lived with my parents and my brother ages 25 to 28, my brother was 21 to 24, he moved out of their place three months after me.
It was awesome, one of my fondest memories is of me and my brother taking my parents clothes out of the drier and folding them together. We made fun of their grandma and grandpa stuff, of the completely out of shape pajamas my father refused to throw out, and it took like 15 min to fold 8kg of stuff because there were two of us.
And then being able to put it on their bed, warm and folded, like they did with our stuff when we were kids. Awesome really.
Comment by onlytexts at 26/01/2025 at 20:45 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I lived with them until 37... You need clear boundaries and accept it is their house and you will have some rules you might not like. And you need to let them know when you are not coming at night because they will worry.
No big issues other than my mom sometimes moving my stuff around if I left it in the common areas. One day she simply decided to put my purse in her room because I left it in the living room, I spent 20 minutes looking for it. It was not a good day.
Comment by Django-lango at 26/01/2025 at 19:43 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Considering my mother's massive victim complex, I can't wait to be moving out in a month.
Comment by fallintospace09 at 26/01/2025 at 18:43 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
i moved out for college and came back after for about four years. it felt so good to fucking leave that house. i didn’t enjoy being there because my mom kind of treated me like i was a teenager and i was essentially playing mom to my younger sisters. i had a lot less personal space than i did in my college apartment. i didn’t feel super embarrassed because i had a few other friends also living with their parents, but still did a bit.
Comment by GhostBoii95 at 26/01/2025 at 18:54 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Probably depends on your family tbh, I love my mom but my dad is a black hole that is also drunk often so for me, I was living in purgatory and made me really insecure and suicidal, it also made me want better and more mindful about what steps I take today to be in a better place tomorrow.
Comment by msstark at 26/01/2025 at 18:57 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I stayed with my family (mom and aunt) for a month at 27, while I considered moving back in long-term.
A week was enough to realize what a horrible idea that was, my mom is incredibly controlling, she and my aunt fight allll the time, and our routines don't align at all. I didn't feel embarrassed, but I can't really enjoy being around my family for more than a few days at a time anymore.
Comment by jaxxattacks at 26/01/2025 at 19:19 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
In 2019 I had a very traumatic and debilitating psychotic break. I left my husband and was homeless for about 6 months before I got help and went to the hospital. From there, I decided not to get back with my ex husband and lived with my parents instead at the age of around 34.
It was surprisingly wonderful. At first I was feeling like a failure in life, but my therapist at the time reframed the situation as getting to spend time with my aging parents while they were here. I worked and paid rent so it wasn’t a free ride, but it was nice. We hung out, binged movies and TV shows, drank coffee together every morning, went shopping and cooked dinner together. I treasure those memories.
It wasn’t long until I met my current boyfriend through a fandoms community online and after a few years long distance, I moved a few states away to be with him and build a new life here. I love my boyfriend, but I get homesick for my parents. If I wasn’t absolutely in love with him like I am and happy, I would be back with my parents in a heartbeat, fuck what society or others would think. My mom is my best friend and watching her and my father age is the most terrifying experience of my life. I see them as much as I can but I still feel guilty being stares away. I miss those morning drinking coffee with my mom and dad the most. I love them both so much.
Comment by Cheekygirl97 at 26/01/2025 at 18:48 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I can’t afford to move out. I do have a job as a teacher, but I’m not making enough to rent an apartment sadly. It does embarrass me. I wanted to move in with a friend so we could split costs, but she moved to the east coast
Comment by BurgersForShoes at 26/01/2025 at 19:11 UTC*
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I lived at home with my mother and her husband (whom things have been rocky with at best since I was a preteen) until spring 2024, very shortly after I turned 26. Towards the end of me living there, it just felt like things were hitting a boiling point and we were always at each other's throats. Once I finally graduated and left, though, relationships got a lot better, even with her husband. I also noticed this same pattern when I was briefly sort-of living with my ex-boyfriend about 5 years ago. It's amazing what just some distance can do for a relationship.
As for embarrassment, there was not what I would call a "legitimate" reason that I felt embarrassed, it was all just Western ideals and norms floating in the back of my mind that made me feel ashamed. Practically, I knew it made the most sense to stay at home until I finished nursing school and secured a full time job (rent in Ontario is the stuff of nightmares), it was just Western Culture Says That's Bad that I was really feeling.
Comment by liebackandthinkofeng at 26/01/2025 at 19:34 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A little embarrassed to still be living with my parents at 29 (married and with a baby) but my husband left his job due to MH issues and I was on mat pay so we had no choice but to leave our rented house. We’ve worked really hard to save and have just put an offer in on a house.
Very grateful to my parents - put up with us, leave us to ourselves and don’t interfere with our day to day lives. We occasionally cook for them and help clean. I offer emotional support to my mum as my stepdad has Parkinson’s and my mum helps with the baby when I’m feeling a bit touched out or need a shower (husband now back at work!). I get on very well with them and am close with my mum. Not once have they suggested they’re ashamed or embarrassed to have us there. Wouldn’t have survived financially/emotionally in the last year without them - they’re incredible.
Comment by niminypiminyniffler at 26/01/2025 at 19:49 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Trauma on top of more trauma, with a side of additional trauma.
Comment by Wonderful_Ad_4788 at 26/01/2025 at 20:08 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I lived with my parents until I was 29 (NYer). The pros were home cooked meals and laundry was always done (my Asian mother is a stay at home mom, she would never allow me to do these things even if I begged to do it myself)
But with all that came with some major anxiety and toxicity with my parents. My parents should’ve gotten divorced years ago, but are still together for convenience.
Every time I left the house I felt like I had to explain myself, couldn’t really enjoy the house besides my bedroom which made me a hermit and super depressed.
I love my parents and am so grateful I had a place to live rent free while I saved up, but I’m so glad I live on my own now.
Comment by Consistent-Camp5359 at 26/01/2025 at 18:38 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
At 33 I had to move back in with my Dad. He always ignored me only this time he had his really sweet girlfriend living with him. My Mom passed a few years before. This woman asked me if I needed her to make me a sandwich. My jaw hit the floor. It was weird. They left me alone. I got a part time job. Was able to get another job doing the same thing I was doing before moving back home.
At 35 I moved to Florida. Decided not to leave again. I rented a room. Nice older woman. Great location. She left me alone and I was helpful here and there. I hope she is doing ok.
Finally moved in with my fiancé a couple years ago at 37 years old.
Comment by serenemiss at 26/01/2025 at 18:53 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My dad died when I was 18. I lived at home while I was going to community college, and my brother was still in high school. After HS he went to trade school for a bit and then came back home, eventually he moved in with a friend he started working with. I transferred to university so my mom was alone for a while.
When I graduated I moved back home and decided I’d live with my mom for a while to be able to pay more on loans. It’s been ten years and I’m still living with my mom. I could afford to move out but I know I’d be at home as often as in my own place so it’s just not worth it to me.
Honestly I feel a little emotionally/socially stunted but at most it’s exacerbated by living at home, not the cause of it. Idk. Sometimes I’m kind of embarrassed by it but… c’est la vie lol
Comment by lamadredesisao at 26/01/2025 at 19:18 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It’s really fucking hard. Sharing a home with someone who seems to have a fear mongering approach in life while still trying listen to what they have to say cause you know they do care about you can really mess with your headspace. I have worked tirelessly on myself and ultimately have self-trust but living with someone who seems to find you inadequate and incapable feels like swimming against a current. It wipes me out. But it’s only temporary. And i’m trying to learn as much as I possibly can without harboring so much resentment.