https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1iaqbcr/whats_the_most_socially_awkward_attempt_at_small/
created by FrankSarcasm on 26/01/2025 at 21:03 UTC
38 upvotes, 12 top-level comments (showing 12)
When working abroad aged 21 I once went for a meal with a family that was extremely religious.
They said grace and also sang hymns whilst three family members played the piano accordian.
Noting the various scriptures on the wall, I decided to compare myself to Jesus with a compelling moccasin reference. I didn't get another invite.
Comment by AutoModerator at 26/01/2025 at 21:03 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
1: /message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK
Comment by ScaryButt at 26/01/2025 at 21:33 UTC
175 upvotes, 6 direct replies
Years ago when the itv show Plebs came out I got really into it but didn't really understand the context of plebs, thought it just meant common workers / not management.
Went to a job interview and whilst on a tour of the facility said it was nice to speak to the plebs on the factory floor.
It haunts me to this day.
Comment by purrcthrowa at 26/01/2025 at 22:27 UTC
75 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Many years ago, I was walking with a German family I was staying with, down a pleasant path by the side of the river. I wanted to strike up some conversation, and I'd noticed that a bridge I passed had lines on the side, together with dates, presumably to mark the high floodwater points in each year. They were all clustered fairly close together, except there was one much, much higher up than the others, all by itself, and marked 1943.
"That's interesting." said I,"Why was there such a huge flood in 1943?"
"Zat voss your bouncing bomb."
Ah.
Comment by ClaryClarysage at 26/01/2025 at 21:19 UTC
48 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I was at work a few weeks ago and it was about 1pm and I hadn't had any breakfast, so I blame that. A lady came in looking for crafty gifts for an 18 month old baby (?), talking about how difficult children that age are to buy for. I think the low blood sugar just swept me away because I agreed with her and started babbling about how babies are a bit weird and gross.
She said 'yes thank you' and left.
I didn't even realise what a load of bollocks I'd been talking until I had something to eat and remembered I was a real person in public and I was supposed to be normal.
Comment by OverTheCandlestik at 26/01/2025 at 23:02 UTC
49 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Was setting up a phone contract. The guy asked me “marital/relationship status?” and my social awkwardness kicked in and I said “single and ready to mingle” while kinda raising my eyebrows as he was kinda hot.
I died internally as soon as I said it. He was not impressed.
Comment by tangles3 at 26/01/2025 at 21:50 UTC
37 upvotes, 0 direct replies
In uni I had a job of ushering students and parents in to the right direction around campus on open days and move in day. On this particular day I was stationed with someone I didn’t know and as we had to stand together for 4 hrs I attempted small talk. Started off with the usual ‘what are you studying where’s your accommodation’ blah blah which went ok but quickly fell back to awkward silence after a few mins.
Then this group of vintage/hipster guys walked by and the girl I was with jokingly said to me ‘oh look it’s the Beatles’. I didn’t catch what she said so said ‘huh?’ But I completely understand how my ‘huh’ came across as a ‘I don’t understand’ huh and not a ‘please repeat yourself’ huh. She looked at me like I had 3 heads and ‘you know..the Beatles…’ I then replied ‘oh yeah, I know who the Beatles are’ but for some reason I said it in the most unconvincing and awkward way, definitely sounded like I was lying even though I obviously wasn’t. I didn’t know how to recover from that and we then pretty much stood in silence for the remainder of the day.
Comment by WarmTransportation35 at 26/01/2025 at 23:36 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I complained to a couple of Norweigans in Norway on how expensive their country is. Their reaction is not the same as telling a Brit how expensive the UK is becoming.
Comment by Putrid_Lawfulness_73 at 27/01/2025 at 08:05 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I was at my night school and we were having a little chat during a break. I’d recently had glandular fever (which my mum had always referred to as ‘the kissing disease).
A younger woman asked me if it was contagious, and for some fucking insane reason I blurted out ‘not unless you’ve been kissing me’, thinking everyone would get the reference to it being called the kissing disease.
She looked horrified. I immediately felt mortified and like a filthy little creep. I genuinely don’t know what I was thinking.
That memory still rears up in my head. If you see a guy driving along roaring at the top his voice, don’t worry I’m just trying to block out some thoughts.
Comment by retrolental_morose at 26/01/2025 at 21:48 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
nervous at our first antenatal class, the couple introducing themselves to us got a shock when I suddenly blurted "x and y? That's a bit of a bloody mouthful isn't it?". We didn't go again.
Comment by Pale-Remote-39 at 27/01/2025 at 00:38 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Had a coworker called Noel and everytime I saw him I’d say alright Edmonds.
I later cracked a joke regarding him being the last Noel because he arrived late for a social event.
Comment by Mr-_-Steve at 27/01/2025 at 10:42 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Watching a colleague walk into work wearing a fancy black suit and I said the generic small talk joke of "Who died?" completing slipping my mind it was the funeral day of a guy who died at work 2 weeks prior and they where all meeting at work before hand. It was in front of about 30 people and never before have I wanted to shrivel up and disappear as much as that point.
Comment by No-Jicama-6523 at 26/01/2025 at 21:15 UTC
10 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Oops, mine was criticising George Bush in a clearly democratic household (their front lawn was covered in Obama signs). Non American must not criticise an American!