https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ihxkud/people_without_depression_and_anxiety_what_is/
created by Random_36912 on 28/08/2020 at 01:03 UTC
4956 upvotes, 162 top-level comments (showing 25)
Comment by TheDarkKnight1035 at 28/08/2020 at 03:24 UTC*
571 upvotes, 6 direct replies
Most days I'm content and always able to have SOMETHING to look forward to. Like I'm eager to go to work because I get along with and have fun with my coworkers. But I'm eager to go home because my wife and kids make me so happy. I think that's the best way to describe it...
Always having something to look forward to.
Comment by Spectrum2081 at 28/08/2020 at 02:30 UTC
7589 upvotes, 96 direct replies
My best friend suffers from GAD and Depression. I am quite the opposite. Rather a stress-free, positive person.
It’s hard to answer your question because I don’t experience what you do, but the best way I would describe the difference between how I am and she is is that I am “unburdened.”
Visually, it’s like as if we all go through the journey of life picking things up, carrying them along the way, then putting them down and picking new stuff up again. I and people like me tend to carry a few items - some good some bad - but mostly we let the stuff go. While my best friend is dragging all of this stuff and can’t seem to put it down.
The ex who cheated. The job that rejected her. The pet rabbit that died when she was in 5th grade. Her parents’ lack of retirement savings. Dog’s poor health. That one guy in 8th grade who said her nose was too big. The friend who talked behind her back. A C- she didn’t deserve. The boss who didn’t appreciate her. The pounds she couldn’t lose. It’s all there all the time suffocating her.
So when I wake up in the morning, I am not necessarily bright eyed and bushy tailed, but I am not burdened by these bad feelings from these bad experiences. I have put them down and left them behind at some point in my life. Sure there might be some new ones, but they will eventually get left behind too.
She hasn’t let any of them go. I wish I could help her put them down and move forward.
Comment by ripcelinedionhusband at 28/08/2020 at 01:57 UTC*
514 upvotes, 5 direct replies
As a (mostly) recovered depressed person, it’s losing the feeling of a) having a feeling in your chest all the time of always having to do something (most of the time something useless) and b) not being able to get out of bed without trying REALLY really hard
Comment by eggplantsrin at 28/08/2020 at 03:03 UTC
150 upvotes, 3 direct replies
It's fine. All the questions like "What is this for?" "What's the point of living?" etc. don't get answered, they just kind of disappear. Like you don't need a specific thing to keep you going or a reason because everything is fine.
And when you're down, it's usually because a thing happened, or you haven't eaten or slept enough, or possibly it's hormones. But you have reasons and ways to fix things.
And you're never in that weird emotional void without feelings of any kind.
Comment by daisymayusa at 28/08/2020 at 02:32 UTC
1001 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I have a friend who doesn't experience it. It's actually amazing to be around her. It's not like she never gets mad it feels hurt or whatever, but it doesn't consume her. She has massive self confidence. It's the weirdest fucking thing.
For a long time I thought she was shallow, but it's not really that. She just doesn't experience depression or anxiety. We talked about it once. She was like, yeah I really feel bad for people, it seems awful.
Comment by ezekrialase at 28/08/2020 at 01:06 UTC
400 upvotes, 4 direct replies
It's a lot better than when I had it, I can actually do stuff like go to class and call people
Comment by N173M4R3Z at 28/08/2020 at 01:34 UTC
233 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I have nothing to complain about and I just chill
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 01:45 UTC
162 upvotes, 2 direct replies
It's pretty solid. I sleep reasonable hours. I get up and walk my dog. I make and eat 3 square meals a day for my family. I work on projects that give me a sense of completion and self-satisfaction.
This post brought to you by taking my meds every day and being vigilant about my mental health. I know this winter is going to be tough. But right now, I'm solid.
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 10:47 UTC
43 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I've never had anxiety or depression so I'm not really sure how helpful this will be but here goes.
There are some things in my life that suck but that's just how things tend to be.
I don't get along well with my family (I'm 16 for context) but I'm not angry or upset at them for having a personality that clashes strongly with mine.
I've never seen the point in being upset about things that can't be changed and I'm generally quite easy-going so I'm kinda good at the moment.
I'm a bit apprehensive about starting 6th form (for you non uk people, 6th form goes from the age of 16 to 18, or 2 years before you start doing your degree) but also it'll be nice to be doing something again.
Oh and I'm meeting up with one of my friends on Monday so that'll be nice.
...
Sorry if I explained that badly but life just sort of does its thing and it's very hard to describe.
Also I'm autistic and I suck at getting a point across.
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 01:09 UTC
83 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD about 7 years ago, went through therapy for several years. Was declared stable in 2016. It took a while to feel normal again, wean off SSRIs, get my libido back, and feel like myself.
These days, I feel capable. I feel highs and lows, I'm able to perform at work and as an adult with a family. The tools I learned, and time I spent in therapy were the greatest investments of my life and I use them every day. Without the support I received and the work I did, I would be dead.
Comment by strumshot at 28/08/2020 at 02:09 UTC*
121 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I didn't know how anxious I was until drastic changes in my diet and lifestyle reduced my anxiety levels. It's like someone turned off a radio with ominous static that had been playing in the background for years. My muscles are more relaxed, I can take afternoon naps, and I think about death less often. Driving is certainly easier! I am very much looking forward to getting my kids back in school and getting past Covid times and solving personal career issues, and then I will get back to you, as those are certainly still pushing the anxiety... but holy crap things are definitely just more comfortable and interesting now on even the smallest of levels. In the end, for me, about 80% of my anxiety was caused by diet (high caffeine, nicotine, and chronic inflamation from dietary intolerances).
Comment by HOTpototat at 28/08/2020 at 01:06 UTC
44 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I would assume nicer? But there are times where I get in a deep hole and wondered if I have depression.
But, give me a day and I dig myself out of that hole and it’s like nothing ever happened.
Until it happens again. But that’s life and I wouldn’t be normal or be able to grow without those moments.
Comment by MEdoCRYaLOT at 28/08/2020 at 10:38 UTC
33 upvotes, 1 direct replies
God this would be so much funnier if there were no responses
Comment by FaceFirst23 at 28/08/2020 at 10:36 UTC
15 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I had chronic depression and anxiety for about 10-11 years, and have been healthy for about 3 years now. The contrast between what life was like then and what it's like now is staggering. Leaving out the surface variables (great job, my own place, friends, sex life) that are all better and helped, it's the mental change that is the most impactful.
The way I would describe how it felt to live with depression is emptiness. I was a hollow vessel. I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel angry or low; I felt nothing. I was a shell of a man, a piece of driftwood washed up in a sewer. I could barely function. I had no control over my mind, no control over my thoughts, which was was not just frightening, it was crushing. I would wake up each morning feeling afraid, feeling nauseous, because I was scared of what thoughts would creep into my mind that day. What old trauma would spiderweb its way over me, disabling me. It felt like I was a shadow, like the sun couldn't shine on me.
Anytime the fog would briefly lift, and I'd feel a glimmer of positivity, I would grab hold and try to pull myself forward. But I knew deep down it was a facade, like a fake street on a movie set. You open the door and there's nothing behind it. Knowing that, and still desperately hoping it was a way out, was devastating.
Eventually, long story short, I recovered. And the way being alive feels now is almost indescribable. Now there is nothing spectacular about my life. I have a job, I live alone, I have friends and a few hobbies. But the beauty lies in the normality. All I wanted in the darkest days was to feel normal. To live a quiet, secure, normal life. And now I do, and it's the greatest achievement of my life. I feel genuine now; like I'm a real person, with value and worth, no longer a fake, empty husk. I feel sad sometimes, I feel low and bored; but it's wonderful to feel those emotions, because they're healthy and normal...and they pass. And what I return to is better than happiness. It's contentment. It's peace.
I used to be a broken piece of driftwood washed up in the sewer. Now I'm a man lying on a blow up turtle, floating gently on a calm lake, watching the sunset. And it feels so wonderfully warm.
Comment by eternalrefuge86 at 28/08/2020 at 02:31 UTC
40 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Pretty fucking great, thanks for asking.
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 01:06 UTC
100 upvotes, 3 direct replies
They exist?
Edit: my older daughter is amazing at it. She feels it come on and she just pushes it away like it’s nothing more than a simple annoyance. Then there’s me and her younger sister who hear the wind blow wrong and we’re wondering when the earth Is ending and we play that in our brain for 12 hours straight. Oh and also the memory of getting embarrassed eight years ago at three in the morning. Those always help.
Comment by PM_ME_FRIENDS_QUOTES at 28/08/2020 at 02:40 UTC
17 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Great... All of the time. And I won't bullshit you and act like I know what it's like to have it but I also won't try to downplay it either. But no matter what I love you
Comment by TakeOffMyPantsPlease at 28/08/2020 at 12:52 UTC
8 upvotes, 1 direct replies
If there was a condition that was the opposite of depression (without being manic), that’s what it’s like for me all the time.
I am perpetually optimistic, calm, positive, have a constructive outlook, outgoing, always manage to find the silver lining in any situation. I generally find myself lifting everyone around me up and elevating them to be their best. I generally always feel bright. I could describe my mood as bright yellow. If there was an instrument that it would sound like, it would be a trumpet.
I always try to help and fix things. I pretty much always feel good and happy and content. I laugh a lot, and I have laugh lines around my eyes. I am the first person to laugh at myself. I don’t take myself seriously. Although I’m 45, I feel like I’m in my 20’s. I love dancing to a phat chunky disco house track and not giving a shit what anyone thinks of me. On a podium.
But strangely, I don’t surround myself with people, i am happy to just do my own thing.
I understand that depression & anxiety is a brain chemistry thing and it’s not something that can’t be ‘willed’ any different, but it is such a foreign state of mind that it’s difficult to empathize what it must feel like. And it can be frustrating sometimes when those touched by it around me, spiral.
I realize I am very lucky. Hope this answers your question. 😊
Comment by Pelqon at 28/08/2020 at 04:09 UTC
21 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Pretty sure those people don't require reddit in their lives
Comment by pika_pie at 28/08/2020 at 04:27 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It's interesting, because both my school and work involve working with people who struggle with depression and anxiety, and I struggle with neither. I have moments where I feel like I'm prevented from doing what I do to the fullest because I just can't empathize with what they're feeling; I can understand it theoretically, but it has to be loads different actually feeling it than just... knowing about it.
I definitely feel things like sadness, anger, and worry (both in my line of work and outside of it), and sometimes those feelings last for a long time. But other emotions like happiness and excitement cut through, and life has never felt hopeless or empty. I know how to handle emotions, addressing them and finding out what's at the root of them rather than running away and ignoring them. I know that there are people who love me and a world that begs to be explored. Even in this time where social distancing is encouraged, I still find myself engrossed in my hobbies and reaching out to my friends over videochats.
Again, I can't say how life is different without depression, because I've never experienced clinical depression or anxiety. I can only offer how I feel, in comparison with some of the stuff I've heard from those that I work with. But I can say that, while life isn't always easy or happy, it doesn't always suck, either.
Comment by DragonSnoot at 28/08/2020 at 03:51 UTC
22 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Reading these comments is like searching through the fiction section of a library
Comment by ihatewolves at 28/08/2020 at 02:59 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I enjoy today right now and I’m no longer looking forward to enjoying something in the future. I do things because I want to and I have desires. I take risks now because I’ve been able to fight the urge to not fail by not trying monster. It’s nice
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 01:28 UTC
50 upvotes, 2 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by ImLostAndILikeIt at 28/08/2020 at 02:45 UTC
39 upvotes, 3 direct replies
It’s great. Once you stop giving a fuck you start to actually live. Most of all your problems are created in your own mind. Learn to control your thoughts and you’ll see a different you.
Comment by [deleted] at 28/08/2020 at 03:13 UTC
14 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I've been suffering from depression for a smidge over a year. I've been seeing a therapist and I've been getting better, but it still affects me. Sometimes badly out of nowhere.
Last night I microdosed on shrooms for about 8 hours. Around hour 4 or 5 the anxiety from the come-up disappeared and I was over come with a strong sense of comfort and self awareness. I was incredibly comfortable in my skin and with who I was as a person. I felt whole. Maybe even more whole than I felt before the depression started. I continued to microdose for the next 3 or so hours. It was like being wrapped in a protective blanket of confidence and courage. I became more talkative and self assure. I no longer cared about how I was viewed and it felt nice. More than nice - amazing.
I don't believe it "cured" anything, but it let me live in that space for a while and gave me a chance to explore it. I feel like if I do this semi-often enough, I might be able to trick myself into feeling it more often. I have noticed my anxiety is much lower today, than most other days. I hope it lasts for a little while. We will see.