https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/
created by Luithien on 26/11/2013 at 01:52 UTC*
3709 upvotes, 119 top-level comments (showing 25)
Edit: Reddit loves to pee in stuff
Comment by Albuyeh at 26/11/2013 at 08:43 UTC
3455 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Used to have one of those 'clap on, clap off' lights in my room. I hated clapping so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.
Comment by irregularinfatuation at 26/11/2013 at 08:33 UTC
846 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I always heat things in the microwave for 1:11 or 2:22 because I'm too lazy to move my fingers to the 0 before I hit start.
Comment by IAMA_dingleberry_AMA at 26/11/2013 at 07:21 UTC
5578 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
Comment by LeaveMyBrainAlone at 26/11/2013 at 07:11 UTC
4943 upvotes, 5 direct replies
i was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep
Comment by TupperWolf at 26/11/2013 at 08:56 UTC
13394 upvotes, 16 direct replies
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Comment by [deleted] at 26/11/2013 at 05:36 UTC*
3328 upvotes, 4 direct replies
[deleted]
Comment by Tampoonie at 26/11/2013 at 04:44 UTC
1396 upvotes, 4 direct replies
In order to not walk 5 feet to my bed, I decided to fall sleep on my recliner, pulling down the window shade a little extra, so I could use it as a blanket.
Comment by stratomaster21 at 26/11/2013 at 02:07 UTC
6770 upvotes, 8 direct replies
Shot ~10 nerf darts at my light switch, from bed. Missed all of them and slept with the lights on.
Comment by kimmm314 at 26/11/2013 at 04:17 UTC
3172 upvotes, 3 direct replies
My roommate and I arranged our dorm room to be "lazy-capable." One person was able to reach the mini fridge and light switch from her bed, and the other could reach the the window and AC/ heat from her bed....
.... we never fought again.
Comment by AltusUnum at 26/11/2013 at 04:29 UTC
3017 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Spent a half hour searching for a torrent to download a textbook that I had left in another room
Comment by anchormanrulz at 26/11/2013 at 01:57 UTC
2296 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Called my mom's office line from the living room to ask her a question. She has a home office.
Comment by fat_chimney_sweep at 26/11/2013 at 04:35 UTC
3574 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Washed bed sheets. Didn't put the sheets on till 2 months later.
Comment by smow at 26/11/2013 at 07:04 UTC
277 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Had the pizza guy deliver a pizza. I lived above the pizzeria.
Comment by pwndcake at 26/11/2013 at 07:14 UTC
592 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Here are a couple:
Roommate was on the other side of the apartment, maybe 20 feet away, and we're both using our computers. Sent him an instant message to find out what he was doing and if he wanted to go grab some lunch.
Came home and tripped in the doorway, falling flat on the floor. I kicked the door shut with my foot and fell asleep for three hours.
Comment by [deleted] at 26/11/2013 at 05:43 UTC*
2637 upvotes, 2 direct replies
^EDIT: ^I ^put ^it ^together ^today. ^Snapped ^a ^couple ^photos ^on ^my ^dads ^terrible... ^just ^terrible ^phone. ^Now ^I ^have ^an ^Imgur ^account, ^too, ^after ^a ^year ^on ^reddit ^with ^so ^many ^great ^photos ^to ^share ^but ^not ^enough ^motivation ^to ^create ^an ^imgur ^account.
^^EDIT: ^^I ^^just ^^flushed ^^my ^^gum ^^down ^^the ^^toilet ^^because ^^the ^^trash ^^can ^^was ^^in ^^the ^^kitchen. ^^Someone ^^stop ^^me.
Comment by ILoveKittens69 at 26/11/2013 at 04:10 UTC
3566 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.
Comment by ExaminedPear at 26/11/2013 at 02:06 UTC
4071 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I downloaded a movie instead of going upstairs to grab the DVD.
Comment by slimzimm at 26/11/2013 at 07:36 UTC
423 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I didn't want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
Comment by banaltram at 26/11/2013 at 01:54 UTC
2908 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Eating my food directly from the pot to eliminate dishes. I hate washing dishes.
Comment by neilson241 at 26/11/2013 at 07:06 UTC
836 upvotes, 1 direct replies
An update is available?
Ask me in 4 hours.
Ask me in 4 hours.
Ask me in 4 hours.
God dammit.
Ask me in 1 day.
Comment by lakai42 at 26/11/2013 at 03:17 UTC
3533 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I tried to skip to the good part of a 33 second Youtube video.
Comment by abqguy at 26/11/2013 at 07:09 UTC
1348 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I ran out of clean bowls for cereal. So I lined the bowls with foil, over the old food and made a bowl of cereal. After that I threw away the foil and did it again the next day.
Comment by bunnylebowski1 at 26/11/2013 at 04:36 UTC*
1564 upvotes, 5 direct replies
In college, we hooked up those hamster water bottles[1] to our headboards with a wire so that we could drink from them when hungover. It enabled us to just open our mouth instead of having to move any other part of our body.
We didn't get much water out of it.
Comment by spacetime8 at 26/11/2013 at 04:12 UTC
5023 upvotes, 5 direct replies
called the restaurant to send the waiter back to my table
Comment by copiestopresponse at 26/11/2013 at 03:48 UTC
5893 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I was in a class called OJT (on-the-job training) in high-school. Everyday the last 25% of school was dedicated to me being able to leave class to go to "work". We were given grades by our employers which would then turn into grades for the class.
As a high-school senior I convinced the teacher that oversaw this program that because I had my own corporation that I used to sell stuff on ebay I should be able to be my own boss. She agreed.
I failed that class because I didn't bother to fill-out the paperwork to give myself a grade.