852 upvotes, 33 direct replies (showing 25)
View submission: What's something you never understood about the opposite gender?
How women can be so naturally beautiful and yet so deeply insecure about how they look.
Comment by Osrek_vanilla at 08/03/2025 at 21:40 UTC
312 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Gotta sell that makeup/diet/pills to someone, hit them into insecurities.
Comment by chocotacogato at 08/03/2025 at 21:42 UTC
554 upvotes, 5 direct replies
The world is a cruel place for young women and girls. We’re taught at a young age that our worth is based on looks and it can take a long time to outgrow that mindset. My self esteem was way worse back in the day despite the fact that I wasn’t fat, I was lighter by like 50-60 lbs. I’m overweight now and even though I don’t like the way I look now, I’m way kinder to myself than I was back then.
Comment by allycat907 at 08/03/2025 at 22:15 UTC
254 upvotes, 5 direct replies
It's not that hard to understand... Everywhere we look- on billboards, tv, video games, magazines, the Internet, etc.- women are mocked for looking anything but spectacular, and idolized for youth, vitality and beauty.
As we age, we see young, lithe, supple perfection EVERYWHERE. When we're made up with hair done and a coordinated outfit, people are nicer (kind to us, smiles, opening doors, buying our coffee etc) and are unkind when we don't. We can't leave the house without being judged. Men say they like the "no makeup" look, but...
Of COURSE we have a complex. If I wear no makeup, I continually get asked if I'm ill, have health problems or what's wrong. It's exhausting.
Comment by Living_Progress_1444 at 08/03/2025 at 23:38 UTC
25 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My insecurity came from the bullying when I was in school and the harsh criticism from my mother. I’m 31 now and just finally learning to ignore it and dress how I want. I was deeply insecure about wearing dresses most of my life, but I always wanted to. I wanted to feel pretty in my own way, but I was always criticized or bullied when I wore dresses. Now I wear dresses most of the time.
I can’t speak on how it is for men, but women are super critical of other women and these young girls learn it at such a young age. So much expectations for little girls to dress pretty but they’re not taught to tell other girls they are pretty. With that, I’m raising my daughters differently. I encourage them to compliment others. My 4 year old will see a little girl at the park and say her clothes are pretty, and I’ll tell her to go tell her. And it’s the sweetest thing seeing 2 girls learning to be kind to each other.
Comment by Toosder at 08/03/2025 at 23:30 UTC
91 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Even your comment can be analyzed. Are all women naturally beautiful? Are you just speaking about the women that you consider beautiful? Are the women you consider naturally beautiful the same woman the guy next to you considers naturally beautiful? Where do you place the value on someone's natural beauty? Do you value the person differently if you don't think they are naturally beautiful? Do you see a woman who is natural and think she should do something to fix her smile or her wrinkles or her skin tone?
Does that make sense? Like even at the base level your question is putting value on the beauty of a woman, a judgment on her looks.
Comment by IwantyoualltoBEDAVE at 09/03/2025 at 01:52 UTC
11 upvotes, 1 direct replies
We as women are told to feel bad about every single thing and then even the most beautiful women get criticised by men for not being beautiful for example Megan Fox got criticised for her thumbs? Women are someone expected not to age? How do we exactly stop time?
Comment by Mental_Internal539 at 08/03/2025 at 23:08 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm a guy and I know it's the ill marketing that honestly should be illegal.
Comment by 314159265358979326 at 09/03/2025 at 00:15 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My wife is *terrified* of being seen without makeup. She's naturally very beautiful, and uses makeup subtly, and I've watched her for years and... I can't tell the difference.
If she's getting ready for like a night out she does a little more and I can see it, but still subtle.
Comment by Cyan-Kai at 09/03/2025 at 11:18 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
We’re constantly bombarded with impossible beauty standards and propaganda from a very young age and the world tells us if we’re don’t look young and beautiful, we don’t have value.
An important part of growing up is unbrainwashing ourselves… and it’s a continuous battle
Comment by kittybangbang_95 at 08/03/2025 at 21:41 UTC
14 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You can thank my mom for that ☺️
Comment by rachael_0898 at 09/03/2025 at 00:11 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A couple other replies hit the nail on it but it’s hard to feel beautiful when time and time again it been told or shown it’s not enough and that there is always better and you need to strive to look better
Comment by olivercoolster at 08/03/2025 at 21:28 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
i agree
Comment by TwincessAhsokaAarmau at 09/03/2025 at 03:12 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have terrible insecurities that my family and society have engineered.
Comment by SammyGeorge at 09/03/2025 at 05:13 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Naturally beautiful women are mocked for how ugly they are online and in media all the time. When full professional hair and makeup, perfect lighting, and Photoshop are the baseline standard of beauty that you're aspiring to from a young age it's hard to not be deeply insecure
Comment by LadyOfLochNess at 09/03/2025 at 00:09 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I went through elementary school in a time when most celebrities were only 7-8 stone or 100lbs. Despite BEING a slim and a tall female, by the age of 13 many of us were so deep into disordered eating habits that it seemed totally normal. Even now, “beautiful” women are usually tall and thin with clear skin and professional clothing/hair/makeup. Comparing yourself to a photoshopped or airbrushed photo seems crazy, but it doesn’t stop our brains from doing it.
I will say, as an adult I also realized that I was rarely ever complimented for my looks as a child or teen. It made me deeply self-conscious, but I think it was also an era of complementing girls on brains and abilities over looks with the idea that it would help them in the long run. It didn’t in my case, it made me feel as though I was never attractive enough to deserve a compliment. 🤷🏻♀️
Comment by Federal-Cut-3449 at 09/03/2025 at 02:28 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Some people will say that it’s a taught behavior. I guarantee men are as well. But I think nearly everyone dislikes how they look to some extent. Everyone sees a part of themselves that nobody else truly sees. I see parts of myself that make me feel ugly when my partner and everyone else seems to think I look fine.
Comment by Intelligent_Repeat34 at 09/03/2025 at 10:37 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A lot of it comes from society tbh. If women weren't so judged on how they look 24/7, we would probably be less insecure. Whether it's out in public or online in media, a lot of people can't hold back their mean comments.
Comment by Maple_Person at 08/03/2025 at 22:09 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Guys get like that too though: dick size, height, abs, paycheque, etc.
Men are often way more judgemental than women are on those things. Same with women—we judge each other more than men judge us.
Comment by Chakkoty at 09/03/2025 at 00:29 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Plenty of ugly people on both sides.
Comment by EmperorKira at 09/03/2025 at 02:35 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
In the same way, someone can be a millionaire and still feel poor
Comment by SiPhoenix at 09/03/2025 at 03:32 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Its the same with how guys can be strong capable and very handy but insecure about doing enough or being enough for people.
Tho also cause the girls and women that are toxic are really good and playing mind games and messing up the beautiful girls for life.
Comment by UnfairBalance510 at 09/03/2025 at 03:47 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
:(
Comment by danny_llama at 09/03/2025 at 09:44 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
This is so true, the hottest girls I've dated were the most insecure by far, despite getting A LOT of attention from men
Comment by skullsandstuff at 09/03/2025 at 09:47 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I have a very good friend who is probably the most attractive woman I have ever met. Like stunningly beautiful. She is perpetually single. I have never met a boyfriend, girlfriend, FWB, nothing. She seems to enjoy being that way. I've never asked if she just doesn't like sex or just simply extremely private about that. It's none of my business. But it does peak my curiosity sometimes. She is one of the sweetest, nicest people I know. She could have literally anyone. Whenever I hear that dating can be hard for hot people because their attractiveness is so intimidating, I think of her. Like is that what is happening?
Comment by happymalt at 09/03/2025 at 10:23 UTC*
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I wish I could award you because this made me smile and made my day. Thank you