What’s a better alternative to a funeral?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/1iyaa6d/whats_a_better_alternative_to_a_funeral/

created by geronika on 26/02/2025 at 00:18 UTC

18 upvotes, 95 top-level comments (showing 25)

Any ideas? Anyone been to something memorable?

Comments

Comment by AutoModerator at 26/02/2025 at 00:18 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X or older (born 1980 or before). See this post[1], the rules, and the sidebar for details. Thank you for your submission, geronika.

1: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/

2: /message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople

Comment by Ladybug-87 at 26/02/2025 at 00:24 UTC*

51 upvotes, 2 direct replies

My granddad left some money in his dresser and a note that said "throw a good old fashioned beer party" - we had the service in the morning then everyone came back to my mom's house. She had kegs and pizzas, wings, etc. and we just had ourselves a time. This was in 2009, probably the last time my whole extended family was together, truly it was so memorable and fun. My cousins and I still talk about it fondly.

Comment by hbgwine at 26/02/2025 at 00:39 UTC

45 upvotes, 4 direct replies

A group of us who are getting old decided that we will have “funerals” at age 72 for each of us so we can drink, tell stories and best of all, the (not) departed can revel in it. First one is this July.

Comment by Tinman5278 at 26/02/2025 at 00:20 UTC

54 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Pretty much anything. I went to an art show 2 weeks ago That was better than a funeral. Today I shoveled snow and went grocery shopping. That was better than a funeral.

Comment by Proud_Trainer_1234 at 26/02/2025 at 00:22 UTC

20 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Remaining alive... sorry, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

Comment by Silent-Revolution105 at 26/02/2025 at 00:36 UTC

15 upvotes, 1 direct replies

We've donated our bods to a specific School of Anatomy; when they're finished with us, our kids will get the cremated remains to put on their mantles, and our deaths won't cost them a cent.

They'll have shitloads of money for a big wake

Comment by WildlifePolicyChick at 26/02/2025 at 00:22 UTC

13 upvotes, 2 direct replies

A wake. Or a 'Celebration of Life'.

Like any major gathering of love, make it what you want it to be.

Comment by walkawaysux at 26/02/2025 at 00:41 UTC

13 upvotes, 1 direct replies

In New Orleans we have jazz funerals for musicians and popular people they are something to watch

Comment by Tough_Feedback1292 at 26/02/2025 at 00:26 UTC

9 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Compostable (green funeral).

Comment by typhoidmarry at 26/02/2025 at 00:30 UTC

10 upvotes, 1 direct replies

An email.

I don’t want *anything*

Comment by PhilosophyReal5177 at 26/02/2025 at 00:25 UTC

9 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I'm no going to my funeral

Comment by Any-Perception3198 at 26/02/2025 at 00:37 UTC

9 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Going out like a Viking. Send me out to see or burn me up and celebrate.

Comment by JustmoreBS25 at 26/02/2025 at 00:25 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Celebration of Life

Comment by Penguin_Life_Now at 26/02/2025 at 00:26 UTC

7 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Perhaps the best experience I have seen is to have a memorial celebration for someone gathering all their friends and family to share remembrances of them some time after they pass away, say 3-6 months later. The one that comes to mind was in more or less the form of a family cookout that took place in the spring time when the person had died in December.

Comment by Amazing-Artichoke330 at 26/02/2025 at 00:30 UTC

6 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I'm old. I have made my arrangements with a funeral home, bought a plot and even have an engraved headstone in place. I didn't plan for any ceremony of any kind. My relatives can visit my grave anytime they wish.

Comment by KomplexStatic at 26/02/2025 at 00:53 UTC

6 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Dying defending something.

Protect the weak.

Feed the hungry.

Warm the cold.

Help the seekers.

Special: Deliver Hope.

Comment by PavicaMalic at 26/02/2025 at 00:23 UTC

6 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Cremation and scattering the ashes, maybe while reciting the deceased person's favorite poem or song lyrics.

Comment by Imightbeafanofthis at 26/02/2025 at 00:26 UTC

5 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I think memorial services and wakes are much more healing and celebratory than funerals.

I'm going to be composted when I go. I've got the spot paid for. My wife and I will both feed life when we go, but I don't think either of us are very interested in a funeral, per se. The celebration of a life comes after that.

Comment by TechBansh33 at 26/02/2025 at 00:40 UTC

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Just fade away. Let everyone grieve and remember me as they like. If they feel like it, have a meal together

Comment by JanaKaySTL at 26/02/2025 at 00:22 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Get together with friends and family, share stories, pictures, etc. Raise a glass or two!

Comment by Prettygoodusernm at 26/02/2025 at 00:26 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Sometimes, nothing. I mean no service or gathering or ceremony is sometimes best.

Comment by sapphir8 at 26/02/2025 at 00:24 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I plan to live forever. So far so good.

Comment by Conscious-Compote-23 at 26/02/2025 at 00:33 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I like what a great uncle told me. “I’ve had a good life and have used this body to its fullest. I cannot take it with me. When I die I want to drop dead in a ditch and it takes a couple of weeks to find me. That way I can stink up the neighborhood and leave a lasting impression on everybody.”

Comment by sas5814 at 26/02/2025 at 00:34 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Celebration of life. My oldest friend of 40 years was approaching the end of a losing fight with cancer and said “funerals suck. I want to have a celebration of life.”

So we had a huge party with people from all phases of his amazing , wild , wonderful life. Everyone ate and drank and took turns telling stories about adventures shared with him to the whole group. It was an amazing day shared with someone we all loved.

3 months later he died and, per his wishes, there was no funeral.

Comment by hairballcouture at 26/02/2025 at 00:50 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Donating your body to a body farm!