created by AutoModerator on 12/03/2025 at 18:01 UTC
19 upvotes, 21 top-level comments (showing 21)
Feel free to share your wins, losses, and general progress. You can talk about anything from work and career, to personal projects, to personal development and family, to friendships and socialization, even dating.
Life is ongoing, and sometimes it's good to have a community around us that can reflect that. Hopefully this weekly check-in will serve as a good tool and outlet for those who need it.
You are encouraged not only to post, but to respond to posts by others. Support your fellow men in their trials and tribulations.
Please be respectful in your comments.
Comment by AutoModerator at 12/03/2025 at 18:01 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
1: /message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30
Comment by timespaceoblivion at 13/03/2025 at 03:07 UTC
14 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I decided to shoot my shot and ask a cute girl I met at a bar out on a date. She’s left me on read so I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
Other than that I’m doing well. I started a skincare routine 6 months ago and feel like I’m finally reaping the benefits of having properly hydrated skin.
Comment by ryanotamouse at 12/03/2025 at 18:41 UTC
9 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Fuck it. I'll bite and shout out into the void.
I took a job at a previously well-regarded agency in the US federal government on January 13. I am probationary. My agency managed to protect its probies, but has already started firing people as a Reduction in Force (RIF) measure, well in advance of even submitting a plan to the government as required. The budget of the agency is going to be critically slashed.
Without any of that other bullshit, this would have been my dream job. It is the perfect combination of all my previous work history and education. All the parts of those things I liked, and almost none of the things I hated. It took me nearly 20 years of effort to get here.
So how am I doing? I'm stressed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm disgusted with just about every level of "leadership" involved. I'm considering just quitting so I don't have to live in this constant state of anxiety. And I am lucky enough to be able to afford to do that, perhaps indefinitely if need be. I know that is not the case for everyone, so I am also feeling slightly guilty about that. Or it looks like I can right now, at least. Who knows, there's a lot of uncertainty out there for the future.
But hey, I still have my health, anxiety aside. I have my family. By some miracle, I still somehow only have the one grey hair in my beard that showed up in November.
Comment by i-have-a-plan_Arthur at 12/03/2025 at 22:51 UTC
9 upvotes, 3 direct replies
29 turning 30 in December. The only reason I feel comfortable venting this is because I found Reddit and this community recently.
Two months ago the love of my life just walked out of my life unexpectedly (3.5 years together) and I found out she has been involved with another dude I know the last several months. I don’t want to be in this city anymore. I don’t want to exist most days. But I have my parents, sister and close friends in my life (none of which live in this city) that keep me going. I don’t know what the fuck to do or where the fuck to go, but I know that I’m going to wake up tomorrow, so I have to just keep pushing forward.
Comment by manslut411 at 13/03/2025 at 09:45 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Unemployment just ran out and I didn't get a job I was really hoping for. Feels like the music stopped and their is no chair left for me
Comment by Snackatomi_Plaza at 12/03/2025 at 20:32 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Tomorrow's my younger brother's birthday, the first one since he passed away last summer.
We always had a strained relationship and weren't very close, but always made a point of reaching out on holidays and birthdays. I've been working pretty hard to process my grief, and I'm okay most days. It's been weighing on me pretty hard this week, though.
I still carry a lot of guilt for not being closer to him and not being able to let go of some old wounds before it was too late. I tried channeling some of that guilt into trying to rebuild a relationship with my father, but I don't think he either wants or knows how to put as much effort into it as I do.
I have an appointment scheduled tomorrow to get a tattoo of my brother's initials, and then I'm going to a nice spot by the beach to scatter a bit of his ashes.
I think what's weighing on me so much is that while I'm looking for some sort of closure and reassurance that he knows I love him despite our problems, I know that I'll never be able to hear it from him.
Comment by trippy81 at 12/03/2025 at 23:18 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
2024 was the year I stopped being sad. Nothing more, just not sad. 2025 is the year I’m working on actually being happy. So far, it’s going ok. I got a promotion at work, my kids are healthy, I have a home. Daily affirmations have been helping a lot. Gratitude for the things I do have instead of marinating on all the things I lost in divorce a few years ago. This week specifically, I’m visiting with family since I live away from my home town. Just trying to keep the positive vibe going.
Comment by gmindset at 13/03/2025 at 00:16 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I wrote down a full plan for a business that I'll start. Never did this sort of thing before in my life and I'm excited. But it will require a lot of work, discipline and consistency which scares me - I procrastinate a lot. I'm getting close to my 40s still working a restaurant job. Also in the past 10 days 2 women have asked me out, they're not exactly my type though. As someone who has been bullied about my looks and used to be borderline incel in my 20s yeah that's still a win
Comment by xr_21 at 13/03/2025 at 05:05 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Put in my 2 weeks on Friday and will be returning to my prior software company where I worked pre pandemic. Feeling a lot of emotions because I did enjoy my time and people at my current company so trying to make sure I do my best to make it a smooth transition. Excited at the same time to reunite with old colleagues when i start at the new company.
This weekend I'm going to Vegas to watch some r/nascar with my brother. I'm appreciative that my wife let's me do these things even with young kids.
Comment by The_Lost_Boy_1983 at 13/03/2025 at 07:26 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Doing and feeling much better this week, definitely had a wellbeing crash the past few weeks now! So pleased that even on the darker days, still smashing it out in the gym 4x a week. More batch cooking achievements also. Have an awesome day everyone:-)
Comment by TheOtherwise_Flow at 12/03/2025 at 18:20 UTC*
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
BMQ in 10 days I’m at 240 lbs now and have been working out everyday, wish I stop smoking weed last year but it’s ok I’m facing consequences 🤣
I don’t miss my old job tho
Comment by Terrible_Tooth54 at 12/03/2025 at 21:17 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Late 40s here. The biggest struggle over the past 6-8 months is worrying that my wife is slowly becoming an alcoholic. Some of the signs are there, and she's definitely an "alcohol use disorder" metric. I'm in an AlAnon sub and it's been super helpful, but the reality is that i'm in a neighborhood i love, a house that i love and spent the past year making ours (we bought last year,) and when she isn't drinking my wife is a fantastic, loving, and supportive wife. But once she gets a few glasses of wine down, it's a different story. Stumbling around, falling, dumping her mental trauma on people, etc. I can't trust her around alcohol at all and when i bring it up i basically get told to "just deal with it, leave if you don't like it." I'd be walking away empty handed in a place where i have no friends or support system. That's the hard part. If we didn't buy a house this would be a lot different. It feels like she really started drinking more (or i noticed it) after we had a bigger place.
other than nightly worries of "is she drunk tonight?" life has actually been good. that's what makes it harder. thanks for listening, internet. it helps me to write this out.
Comment by Saito09 at 13/03/2025 at 00:20 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Fine, i guess. No real change. Kind of feel like i just exist week to week.
Im pretty introverted and have become increasingly frustrated with loneliness over the last five years or so. I wanted to make more of an effort to be more social with friends an co-workers this year. Its going pretty well. Been joining co-workers for beers more often. Been bowling. Go-Karting. Hit up a concert not long ago and went to a friends house for dinner to celebrate their birthday etc So, hoping i can keep it up.
Also been more serious about the gym and am now slowly seeing results. So thats a fun new hobby!
A big kicker was finding out this girl ive been hanging out with and getting increasingly close to has a boyfriend. So that was a gut punch. Feel like it set me back mentally, but im just gonna have to get over it i guess.
Having ups and downs. Just feel tired a lot, really.
Comment by slwrthnu_again at 12/03/2025 at 20:20 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Just had a great hearing this morning but the crash after a hearing is hard and I don’t know how I’m gonna stay awake for another 40 minutes or drive home from work lol.
Work has been absolutely insane since the day I started so I’m looking forward to kind of taking it easy for the next two days and then starting to write 909 briefs next week.
Comment by Fit_Victory6650 at 12/03/2025 at 22:09 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
What a lovely thread. Good on you for doing this.
I ain't got nothing to share, but I hope yall are doing well. Take care out there.
Comment by MageDA6 at 13/03/2025 at 00:23 UTC
5 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Things have been a bit rough. After almost four years, my migraines have come back with a vengeance. I’ve been dealing with kaleidoscope vision off and on the past few days because of how hard they have been hitting. It’s been really stressful waiting for my doctor’s appointments and i’ve missed work because of them too.
Comment by PrimateOfGod at 13/03/2025 at 01:20 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Good all around. Except my nonexistent social life
Comment by Super-Cod-4336 at 12/03/2025 at 21:29 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Good thanks for asking!
Good too!
I decided not to apply for my msw after being rejected by three schools and I am actually kinda glad.
Just decompressing
None at all. Thanks for reading.
Comment by meridainroar at 12/03/2025 at 22:34 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
39
I have ideas and no capital. I write. Absorb and look for change in everything that surrounds us. Pray. And that's it.
Comment by TerribleName01 at 12/03/2025 at 22:40 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Nervous about the appraisal for the house I’m about to buy
Comment by Neuromante at 13/03/2025 at 00:16 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Nerves are eating me, basically.
Been several years trying to look for a flat to buy. Lot of stuff learnt, lot of chances lost and most of my life on hold due to this. I finally went for one, put a signal, and things are not going as smooth as they should (been asked to wait a more than originally intended to actually sign the final papers).
It's fucked up. I only can wait (could sue and get nasty, but that would not help me get the flat, only a return of the signal*2 and a potential extra for damages), the real state agents aren't doing jack shit and prices of flats are just going up.
I'm just one step away from getting my flat and some stability, but that's usually when the ground falls out from underneath your feet.