https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1ih5zs3/do_you_open_doors_to_strangers/
created by b41290b on 04/02/2025 at 01:26 UTC
23 upvotes, 55 top-level comments (showing 25)
I grew up in a generation where my parents said not to open doors to strangers, and it has stuck with me since. In the past, I have gone against this policy a few times and they were folks like utilities and census, and church solicitors once by mistake. In spite of this, I've been digging my heels more these days against opening my doors to strangers more out of fear of safety. There hasn't been any incidents to cause this, but I do live alone without any weapons, so it leaves me in a vulnerable position. Am I being paranoid -- what are your thoughts on this?
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1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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Comment by PfedrikTheChawg at 04/02/2025 at 01:31 UTC
29 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I don't even get off the couch for unexpected company.
Comment by E-A-G-L-E-S_Eagles at 04/02/2025 at 01:29 UTC
9 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I don’t open my front door unless I know who’s on the other side of it. Although my main door is open, and my screen door is locked most of the time.
Comment by nomadschomad at 04/02/2025 at 01:44 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I grew up with the same advice. That was advice for kids.
These days, it’s a judgment call, but I usually open the door. I’m a big guy and live in a very safe neighborhood. Plenty of porch pirates, bike thieves, and vehicular burglary… Where the cars were unlocked. Very little violent crime. I have a ring camera and can always see who is at the door. If it is someone, I’m not expecting, which is rare, I will ask.
Comment by Upbeat_Experience403 at 04/02/2025 at 01:50 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I always open mine I live in the middle of nowhere way off the road if someone shows up at my door I’m for sure going to ask them wtf they are doing here and generally I have a firearm with me as well.
Comment by rollcasttotheriffle at 04/02/2025 at 01:35 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Yes and I smile at them. Say “Good morning- Good Afternoon -Good Evening”
Comment by Brief-Watercress-131 at 04/02/2025 at 01:54 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
If someone knocks, I answer. I take precautions, of course, and I'm not defenseless. Most people that are coming around have a reason. A few people have needed help, and I helped them. Only once has someone come to my door that meant me harm, and he didn't come back after we were done.
I'm 37, I live in a small college town in central PA. I know my neighbors and they know me. My parents raised me with a healthy balance of being cautious but empathetic. I do realize that being a 6ft reasonably healthy white man affords me some privilege and safety, my situation isn't yours etc etc but I really resent this growing trend among people of all ages to castle up. It's not good.
Comment by AnybodySeeMyKeys at 04/02/2025 at 01:34 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes, of course.
Comment by Comprehensive_Two453 at 04/02/2025 at 01:55 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Unless they are wearing animal masks
Comment by mallardramp at 04/02/2025 at 01:55 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Why are you afraid?
Comment by charcuterDude at 04/02/2025 at 02:01 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I grew up in a pretty violent city with a high crime rate. If I don't recognize you, and you aren't a literal child in need of help, that door stays shut. If you keep knocking or if there is more than 1 of you I'm heading for the safe.
The only exception I can think of is a utility worker, but even then I'd be pretty cagey unless I could see your vehicle clearly marked as a utility vehicle.
Fun fact: the Jehovah's Witnesses parked BOTH of my cars in once, then multiple came to the door. That was a good time. Thankfully, I haven't seen them since.
Comment by Paladin_3 at 04/02/2025 at 02:14 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I don't carry my gun on me at home, but it's always close at hand. The kids are all grown adults and have lives of their own, so it's not an issue. During normal times of the day, I'll answer the door, but I always use the peephole to see who it is first.
If something looks sketchy or always at night, I usually have a pistol in my right hand held behind my leg so nobody can see it. I'm always polite when I answer the door, but I'm ready in case anybody pulls anything. Same thing if somebody I don't recognize comes on the property.
I try to keep love my heart for my fellow man, but be prepared at the same time in case they don't return that same feeling towards me.
Comment by ElbieLG at 04/02/2025 at 02:36 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
this weekend i walked into my living room and a neighbors kid was eating one of my popsicles.
Comment by Comprehensive-Web935 at 04/02/2025 at 02:42 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
The joy of living somewhere safe in the UK means I can quite happily open my door and have done all my life. I leave the door unlocked most of the time too
Comment by Just_Movie8555 at 04/02/2025 at 01:46 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Always - and even smile if I can. Be kind to people, you never know what battle they’re fighting on the inside
Comment by ArrowDel at 04/02/2025 at 01:32 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
No. The door stays LOCKED until after I confirm who is outside.
Comment by aerodeck at 04/02/2025 at 01:42 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes because I’m not a loser
Comment by Quixlequaxle at 04/02/2025 at 01:36 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I check who it is on my doorbell cam. If it looks like a neighbor or something, I'll answer. If they have a vest, clipboard, lanyard, polo shirt with a company logo, etc then I just ignore them.
Comment by randomly421 at 04/02/2025 at 01:37 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes
Comment by redit3rd at 04/02/2025 at 01:43 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes, all the time. No danger at all.
Comment by 7625607 at 04/02/2025 at 01:46 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes
Comment by Gabe_Ad_Astra at 04/02/2025 at 01:48 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Nah 99% of the time it’s a complete waste of time. If it was important they can text me (if they know me) or leave a note and if it needs my attention, i’ll reach out. Even ignoring the safety argument of it, if I’m at home and relaxing i don’t want to be sold anything or hear about jesus. Sorry
Comment by icelink4884 at 04/02/2025 at 01:54 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes
Comment by luffyuk at 04/02/2025 at 01:56 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I hide when the doorbell rings.
Comment by MostEstablishment007 at 04/02/2025 at 01:58 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I grew up in a generation where I was taught to be a gentleman and open doors for strangers. However, I agree with your perspective that today is different from when I was growing up. In my late 20s, a member of my apartment community was shot and raped because someone from outside the community was let in. Since then, I’ve moved out of that community, and things have only gotten worse.
I argue that it’s a difficult choice these days because you can’t be certain who is a malicious person looking for an opportunity to harm someone, and who is just going about their day (e.g., delivery drivers). I now avoid opening doors for others in secure areas, but I still open doors for people in public places like grocery stores and restaurants.