What's your guys plans for being single?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1h2q045/whats_your_guys_plans_for_being_single/

created by Sonic24680 on 29/11/2024 at 16:48 UTC

356 upvotes, 120 top-level comments (showing 25)

So here is my plan up until I become fragile lol.

1. Make money and my brothers and sisters kids will inherit it.

2. Go on 4-5 holidays a year.

3. Do the hobbies I like - Hiking, running, chess, boxing.

4. Have a game console room with the retro games as well. I can play any new or old games.

5. Spend time with family and friends.

I'm not giving up dating. It's just that I keep finding the wrong people. I'm M31. I do try to meet women irl as well as on apps.

Comments

Comment by bkdad75 at 29/11/2024 at 17:05 UTC

137 upvotes, 5 direct replies

Work on your non romantic relationships. Expand your circle of friends. This gives you more than just people to hang out with, it gives you ideas and examples.

Comment by ForzentoRafe at 29/11/2024 at 17:08 UTC

37 upvotes, 4 direct replies

I am working on learning the piano.

it started off as a joke...

"It will be kinda cool if I can play whatever I want on the piano when I'm sad and old."

"I am 28 now and in 10 years time, I'll be 38. that's not too bad... right?"

"I can't be that stupid. Ten years is a ridiculously long amount of time. I should be able to get somewhere on the piano with ten years."

"I will go to some public piano on Valentine's Day and play the most heart-breaking piece there."

"It's gonna be awesome, everyone will feel how I feel"

I swear, it started off as a joke but a few years in and now I am playing at the level of grade 4 and still steadily improving. My time will come lol

Comment by Boneafido at 29/11/2024 at 17:27 UTC

40 upvotes, 3 direct replies

1. Got a dog.

Gives me oxytocin and a feeling of being needed/being a caretaker. Gets me out of the house everyday and provides a place for social interaction.

2. Play a team sport.

Keeps me active physically and socially. It's easier to make friends when you have some shared goal you're working towards.

3. Being the fun uncle who is also a safe person to talk to and get advice from.

Scratches that parenting itch and gives me a sense that I am making a difference for someone's future.

4. Coaching

Sort of combines 2 and 3. Friends with the kids dad's, flirt with the single moms, pass on life lessons to the youth. Gets me out of the house and gives me a sense of importance.

Comment by Grundlage at 29/11/2024 at 17:08 UTC

22 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Continue to keep myself in sufficiently good shape to enjoy my main hobbies (backcountry camping and electronic music), and just do them solo or with friends. That will work for another few years at least.

If I'm still single by the time I make it past 40 or so I'll have to reevaluate. I don't have a way of thinking about life as worthwhile in the long term if it doesn't involve a relationship and a family, and if it involves a constantly unfulfilled sex drive. I don't think it will come to that point, but if it does I really don't know what I'll do.

Comment by [deleted] at 29/11/2024 at 17:10 UTC*

12 upvotes, 1 direct replies

[removed]

Comment by Over-Training-488 at 29/11/2024 at 17:00 UTC*

39 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Eat sleep lift. Be sober. Worked fantastic for me this year, lived and loved more in one year than any of the past 26

Edit: just ended up on a 5 hour date somehow. Eat sleep lift gentlemen.

Comment by [deleted] at 29/11/2024 at 17:17 UTC*

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Get money, advance my career, buy things I like, work out hard, make friends and connections, learn and explore. That’s really it. The right person will come along if you’re putting yourself out there and trying your best in life.

Comment by EnderDragoon at 29/11/2024 at 18:03 UTC

6 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Teaching myself sailing. It's got all the nature and technical outlets I love to have in a hobby. Eventually it'll let me travel the world on my own terms instead of the rat race of flights and hotels. I plan to die at sea when nature is ready for me. If I meet some amazing people along the way that's great but I've accepted being alone, my nephews and cousin will inherit my empire.

Comment by EmperorRook at 29/11/2024 at 17:18 UTC

3 upvotes, 1 direct replies

It’s so strange but I’m right there with you at number one. It feels like I’m living my life for kids that aren’t even mine

Comment by ctokes728 at 29/11/2024 at 18:48 UTC

3 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I guess my loose plans are:

1. Save enough money to move out and live on my own.

2. Move to a cheaper area since my job offers relocations to anywhere in the US. Nothing holding me down except for my cat so I can just pick up and leave.

3. Work on my music and eventually build up a studio. I have a simple set up atm but no room for it.

4. Get therapy to address my low self esteem and feelings surrounding my deceased sister

5. Schedule a bunch of needed dental work which may improve my self confidence

I’m probably the worst at dating and haven’t been approached by a girl in 7 years and I’m feeling like an afterthought with my friend group here so that’s my plan atm

Comment by jsh1138 at 29/11/2024 at 19:29 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I'm in my 40's and video games have gotten old. Dating has gotten old too. Find someone and settle down before you hit 38ish or you're going to have a real hard time

The rest of that sounds pretty good but bear in mind that once you get married or a serious girlfriend she's going to veto half of it

Comment by Velifax at 29/11/2024 at 20:08 UTC

3 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Tbh honest one of my favorite benefits of being single is not *needing* to plan.

Comment by Flat-While2521 at 29/11/2024 at 20:20 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Cheers to the happy single life. After my divorce I realized that dating wasn’t it for me anymore, and after working on myself through therapy and making more healthy decisions, came to find that I am happy without a spouse, and I do not wish to find one. If you have nieces and/or nephews, be a big part of their lives - the best thing a childless man can be is a loving uncle.

Comment by Hopeful_Vegetable_31 at 29/11/2024 at 21:16 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I don’t have any plans. Everything I wanted to do in life never happened, so I really don’t give a shit anymore. I’ll work until I die and my corpse will be found in some cheap apartment in the shitty part of town when rent isn’t paid or the smell of me rotting is noticed.

Comment by FracturedFactions at 29/11/2024 at 21:39 UTC

3 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I'm putting myself in the mindset that my life needs to be built around being single.

My plan for that I guess is to learn a trade, I have some experience in the trades. Then save up to get a small piece of property. Get my own business started. Build my own house with some friends. Have an awesome garden that I can make an income from. Have some animals. I want a paramotor and a private pilot license one day.

My plan for being single is to love myself with the same energy I've put into the attraction I've felt towards a few people I fell in love with in my past that never worked out. Looking back it's no wonder most of my interaction with women has never developed further, Im just someone with a good heart, I have plans goals dreams and ambitions but i ignored myself for so long its time i start loving me.

Comment by Icy-Yam-3170 at 29/11/2024 at 17:09 UTC

5 upvotes, 1 direct replies

I’m going all in on the business and my hobbies.

1. Hitting the gym 7 times a week

2. Reading everything I can get my hands on

3. Playing piano as much as I can

4. Taking some killer surf trips

Comment by [deleted] at 29/11/2024 at 17:18 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I have put a lot of energy in my career and its an enjoyable one too, more often than not.

I have friends and family who I like to hang out with and have some fun.

at this point, 35M, divorced, I am just going with the flow of things. I probably wont meet anyone unless I really try but Im not convinced a long term romantic relationship is worth the effort.

Comment by endlessincoherence at 29/11/2024 at 17:45 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I am really focused on being semi retired for the rest of my life. I take a year or two off at a time. Just took 3 months off last summer.

Comment by [deleted] at 29/11/2024 at 18:26 UTC

2 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Why do you think you can’t do all of this stuff AND have a partner?

Nothing wrong with wanting to stay single, but I don’t think these are single exclusive activities.

Comment by superhandsomeguy1994 at 29/11/2024 at 23:54 UTC

2 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Stay single well into your mid 30’s. Your value, network, and dating potential will grow exponentially these next 4-6 years. In the mean time have as much fun as you possibly can.

Comment by bigcityboy at 29/11/2024 at 17:03 UTC

6 upvotes, 3 direct replies

I’m really confused by your question. What the fuck does “fragile” mean in this context? Your list of things you want to do is just living a normal ass life? How are any of those stopping you from dating?

Comment by TheUglyTruth527 at 29/11/2024 at 17:59 UTC

2 upvotes, 1 direct replies

M40, divorced so slightly different.

Keep going to be gym, maybe take up boxing for the cardio+strength benefits. Have a Nerd Cave complete with PC gaming setup, consoles, home theater, the works. Take my daughter on a vacation every year to somewhere people don't normally go, make memories that will last her lifetime. Maybe I check out, maybe I don't, but I'll hold on until my daughter is at least 25 because she's going to inherit a not-insignificant amount of money.

I have given up on finding someone, I'm not spending my twilight years wondering if she's cheating on me or using me. Fuck that shit, I want my last years to be peaceful, I think I've earned that much at this point.