https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1h2lu55/life/
created by Ok_Rip4884 on 29/11/2024 at 13:31 UTC
4 upvotes, 3 top-level comments (showing 3)
Hey, everyone.
I’m dealing with a lot of regret and shame from things that happened when I was drinking heavily, starting back in 2016. Drinking brought out the worst in me—I’d get rowdy, talk slick, and end up in confrontations. Over time, it led to fights, embarrassments, and even getting knocked out once. What hurts the most is feeling like I didn’t stand up for myself that first time, which only made things worse.
Now, I’ve stopped drinking, but the damage feels done. I live in Brooklyn, and it seems like people still see me as the guy who got embarrassed so many times. Some have even called me a punk or a drunk. Even some of my male friends seem to shun me now, like they’ve decided I’m not worth hanging out with anymore. It’s hard because once you’ve been in those situations, it feels like respect is gone for good, no matter what you do to change.
How do you rebuild yourself after something like this? How do you move forward in a community where it feels like your reputation is set in stone? I’d really appreciate any advice or insight.
Comment by nudistinclothes at 29/11/2024 at 13:38 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
How long have you been sober? I got sober 28 years ago. Barely anyone remembers “drunk me”, but everyone knows “fun me”. I’d say give it time for people to realize you really have changed. Also, consider changing some of those people and places so that you’re not always hanging out with people who knew you when you were drunk
Comment by CaptainBrinkmanship at 29/11/2024 at 13:39 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The past is the culmination of who you are today.
The future is the inevitability of who you will become.
Are you peaking today? Or is there still so much life left?
Always Keep growing, my friend.
Comment by Intelligent_Can8740 at 29/11/2024 at 14:22 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You can’t repair everything you’ve broken. Find new friends, build new relationships. Be a better person going forward. It’s all you can do.