https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/ft1d4g/aita_for_loving_my_husband/
created by tudorwife on 01/04/2020 at 15:01 UTC
113 upvotes, 9 top-level comments (showing 9)
Hello! Dear sub, I have a little question.
Me – 28F My husband – 45M His past wife – 35F
My husband and I married recently, but I’ve known him for a long time – I served in his past wives’ households, so while we weren’t close, he was somewhat aware of my existence. (Of course, I knew who he was. I mean, he’s the king.)
He started paying court to me while he was still married to his last wife. (Technically, she wasn’t even really his wife. He “married” her before he was officially split from his first wife, and his archbishop proclaimed that it was legal. Their relationship wasn’t very good in general – he said she cheated on him with a *lot* of people – and she wasted so much of his money on clothes, music, and parties! I’ve also been having a lot of success making friends with my stepdaughter, who hated her last stepmother for breaking up her parents’ marriage – she’s been estranged from her father and I’ve done a lot to bring them together.) I was so flattered, and I fell in love with him quickly. She sensed that he was going to try to divorce her before he had the chance to bring it up and lost her head over it, but what did she expect?
Now I’m pregnant with his son (fingers crossed!) and we’re so happy, but I can’t help but feel a little bit guilty. Nobody’s ever even hinted at the idea that I could be a homewrecker, but is it maybe sort of my fault that he got rid of his second wife? Should I have tried to get him to set the wedding date more than a couple of weeks after the … let’s call it “divorce”?
Comment by DevillyDetailed at 01/04/2020 at 15:39 UTC
50 upvotes, 0 direct replies
NTA. Keep on being a good influence on him! I'm sure you'll have a long and happy marriage and definitely not die in childbirth.
Comment by cdesmoulins at 01/04/2020 at 16:28 UTC
49 upvotes, 0 direct replies
NTA! Who are you to question your husband's judgment? As the head of your family as well as head of the state and (God save him) the church, he's 300% equipped to know what's best for you and your marriage.
Comment by ajbates11 at 01/04/2020 at 17:21 UTC
15 upvotes, 1 direct replies
INFO: why do you have divorce in quotations? Seems sketch.
Comment by justapairofjeans at 01/04/2020 at 18:02 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
NTA! You and your husband sound like lovely, reasonable people. I hope you have a boy, I heard he got a little annoyed when he got two girls. His former wives sound like hussies.
Comment by mary-anns-hammocks at 01/04/2020 at 18:43 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
NTA - If he's literally king - it doesn't sound like you had much choice here. Denying him probably wouldn't haven't been wise, and keeping the King happy is good for the country at large! Being a home wrecker is... *not great*, but if what you say about his second wife is true, this was inevitable. You waited until the divorce (though why is it in quotations? Is she refusing to sign something?), that's what matters.
I'd caution you that if he cheats with you, he'll likely cheat ON you. But perhaps not if the baby is boy. I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery!
Comment by Error_404_Account at 01/04/2020 at 17:54 UTC
17 upvotes, 0 direct replies
ESH- The man sounds difficult to please, but it probably wasn’t very wise to marry him so quickly after the “separation” first occurred. You’re not winning any wife of the year awards.
Comment by flamingoinghome at 01/04/2020 at 19:45 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
NTA--but it sounds like your husband plays fast and loose with his idea of marriage! Who does he think he is, the pope?
I hope you two are very happy, but I'd keep an eye on this guy--sounds like commitment issues, which might make him a difficult father for your baby.
Comment by AllForMeCats at 01/04/2020 at 23:03 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I mean, NTA - he *is* the king, what were you supposed to do? Refuse his advances? Like that would have gone over well...
I'm sure you'll feel much better about everything once the pregnancy's over and you and your husband are holding your son in your arms. Just make sure to have a son.
Comment by AutoModerator at 01/04/2020 at 15:01 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
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