https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1iinnvk/i_think_my_boyfriend_laced_me/
created by Unikittysparkleton on 05/02/2025 at 23:02 UTC*
771 upvotes, 108 top-level comments (showing 25)
A couple of days ago me (18F) and my boyfriend (26M) got into a heated argument in relation to him wearing condoms, after he apologized I thought everything was okay and we were normal. Last night he asked if I wanted to smoke with him and as always I said yes, my first hit I already felt something was off. It was almost like I was seeing shapes when I exhaled, he asked if I was okay but I tried to play it off as if nothing was wrong. I took another hit and my vision got worse. I don’t even remember what fully happened after we smoked but this morning I woke up and my boyfriend was gone, I didn’t have clothes on and I was kind of sore downstairs. I threw up immediately after waking up with a raging headache. I have bruises on my neck and near my inner thigh that I know weren’t there before. I texted him back to back but no answer, when he got home I asked what the fuck we smoked yesterday and he said I was “tripping” because he was completely fine. I asked if we had sex and he said no but I’m not completely sure. I want to break up with him but I’m not sure how.
Update: hey guys I have reached out to an old friend and am now safe. First thing I did was get plan b. Thank you for your help guys:)
Comment by bigdog_skulldrinker at 05/02/2025 at 23:09 UTC
1253 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Get yourself straight to a cop station and explain the situation. You need a blood test and physical examination ASAP under the context of being laced and taken advantage of.
Comment by Federal-Cut-3449 at 05/02/2025 at 23:07 UTC
545 upvotes, 1 direct replies
So he raped you.
If you’re under the influence you can’t give consent. But it doesn’t sound like he even asked for consent. He just drugged you, and fucked you.
Comment by nicolatteviews at 05/02/2025 at 23:18 UTC
429 upvotes, 3 direct replies
OP, you were drugged, raped, and should go to the hospital to have it documented. Then, put that son of a b***h in jail for the rest of his life.
Comment by Fickle-Ad5467 at 05/02/2025 at 23:18 UTC
351 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Dude you are 18 with a 26 year old, huge red flag (it’s borderline pedo vibes). He drugged you and raped you then acted like your the problem. He might do it again or even worse, break up with him but go to the cops now and hospital for a blood test and rape kit. This is some bullshit!
Comment by Time-Improvement6653 at 05/02/2025 at 23:14 UTC
135 upvotes, 1 direct replies
He's a piece of shit and knows exactly what he did. Go to the police.
Comment by Purple_turtlesalways at 05/02/2025 at 23:15 UTC
29 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Please go to the police if you’re comfortable and make an exit plan. Even if he wasn’t the one who laced it he absolutely did not care for you and there is evidence of him harming you. Contact a trusted family member or friend. If you have limited resources please try to get in touch with a women’s center. You need to get away from him. Try not to tip him off that anything is wrong. I would contact someone you trust with no ties to him, go to the police and leave him. Change your number, block him on everything, get a restraining order and do not go back. Don’t let anyone gaslight you. I wish you well.
Comment by angel_heart69 at 06/02/2025 at 00:03 UTC
29 upvotes, 1 direct replies
You need a SANE exam. Go to a hospital. Not an urgent care. A hospital. Tell them you've been drugged and raped. You'll have to tell them what you smoked, what happened in detail (how you felt, that youve been raped, amd that you've been beaten), take a drug test, tell them you're concerned that there's more bruising/marks that you haven't noticed. You'll probably be in for one hell of a wait. Don't let it wear you down mentally. You have to protect yourself.
When you inevitably have to return (assuming you live together) you'll want to be escorted. Either to allow you to gather your things or to have him leave.
Plan B is just a brand name. The pill can be found for much cheaper under other names. Like with any drug, there are weight parameters.
My 2 cents. You're a fresh adult. I don't know the history between you and your "boyfriend." With what you have stated, it's pretty obvious that he's grooming you. Nobody over the age of 20 dates an 18 year old if they can date people of a close age to them. Basically, he's dating you because you're young, impressionable, and easier to train to take abuse. He's praying on you simply because more mature and experienced people won't put up with his shit. And no. You are not "mature for your age." Anyone who says that is a creep.
Comment by Perfect-Employer2055 at 05/02/2025 at 23:50 UTC
69 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The age difference alone was the first concerning part
Comment by Hot-Progress-7029 at 05/02/2025 at 23:23 UTC
17 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Get out now! If he did it once, he'll do it again!!! find a friend or family member to stay with and if you haven't already go to the hospital get bloodwork and a rapekit done! Stat!
Comment by armadilloradio at 06/02/2025 at 00:03 UTC
14 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Something very similar to this happened to me with a boyfriend many years ago. At the time I was 19, my boyfriend was 36. I didn't understand until many years later how much of a problem and red flag that age gap is, really any age gap over 4 years when the younger is under 30. He INSISTED he had taken my clothes off to shower me because I had blacked out and thrown up on myself and that I started getting angry and aggressive with him in my blackout state when he was trying to get me back dressed and put me to bed and that's why I had bruises and was naked and why he left. I think I just wanted to believe him because I desperately wanted any reason not to believe the alternative. And so I accepted it, took him back, moved on, even apologized for my behavior, and didn't smoke weed again for years- to this day it brings flashbacks when I do sometimes and gives me crazy anxiety. But I always knew deep down it wasn't the truth, and, once I finally went through what I had to go through to get the strength to leave that situation, I have always, always regretted not going to the police right away for a rape kit and blood test and getting that man at least a little bit of justice for what he did to me and, I'm sure, many other young women- or, at the very least, having that information then to give me the clarity to leave that relationship before it got any worse. Because, it did- much, much worse, and the deeper in you are, the harder it is to get away, and the more scars you have to live with from it after.
I would suggest doing what I wish I had done then, and going to get tested and finding out for sure, and filing charges if you're up for it if that is proven to be the case. But whatever you do, please be safe, be careful, be kind to yourself, and leave that situation as soon as you can. Even if you don't think that's what this is, a guy having a "heated argument" about refusing to wear condoms is a HUGE problem. Take it from someone who's been in your position. Don't make the same mistakes I did, get out now before he hurts you any more.
Comment by confetticake6969 at 05/02/2025 at 23:12 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Im so sorry you went through that! Please leave him! You don’t owe him any explanation if anything he owes you one. Run. He does not care about your well being or safety clearly does not love you. You don’t deserve that. He just used you for his own benefit and had no remorse for how damaging it could be for you. Don’t ever let him touch you again. You hold the power don’t let him take that from you. Love and respect yourself enough to walk away.
Comment by Kittehy at 05/02/2025 at 23:33 UTC
23 upvotes, 0 direct replies
18 F and 26 M… let me guess he started dating you when you were still a minor? Please break up with him for your own safety and let your parents know what happened if you trust them.
Comment by BagelwithQueefcheese at 05/02/2025 at 23:31 UTC
40 upvotes, 0 direct replies
He drugged you and raped you. Call the police and go to a hospital for a rape kit.
He is a rapist.
He is a rapist.
People who love you don’t do this to you.
Again: he is a rapist.
Want to break up with him? Let the police do it for you.
Comment by SAD_FACED_CLOWN at 05/02/2025 at 23:26 UTC
19 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Go to the ER and have a rape kit done. Tell the same story you told here.
Comment by ImaginaryGuineaPig at 06/02/2025 at 02:26 UTC
8 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Did you drink anything he handed you? It’s possible if you did he laced your drink and the smoke amplified it. The only reason I ask is it sounds like it could be ketamine. You should definitely go to the hospital and get blood and rape tests done, but if there was a drink it might be something to mention to them so they can look for that too.
Comment by cassiecatastrophiee at 06/02/2025 at 03:38 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
stopped reading after “18f” and “26m”. hell no
Comment by RickySlides at 06/02/2025 at 00:55 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hospital asap and ask for toxicology and rape kit 😭😭😭
Comment by International-Ask677 at 05/02/2025 at 23:27 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
First of all. 18 and 26? EW dude is immediately a creep. And yes, dude absolutely drugged you and took advantage of you. Please for your own safety break up with this creep ASAP.
Comment by Wise-Woodpecker1646 at 05/02/2025 at 23:46 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Can you please go to the nearest hospital and get a drug test report him and that’s it
Comment by SpicyChknNugget at 06/02/2025 at 00:55 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Had this happen to me, go straight to the ER..from there let the triage nurse know yoh were raped and they will take you straight through to a room..youll then have a counsellor come in who specialises in sexual assualt and they will contact the police with your consent.
Comment by Jennyespi71 at 05/02/2025 at 23:41 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
This isn’t just a breakup situation...this is serious. Your body and instincts are telling you something is very wrong. Get to a safe place, seek medical attention immediately, and consider reporting this. You deserve safety and truth. Please don’t go through this alone... reach out to someone you trust.
Comment by JuggaliciousMemes at 06/02/2025 at 03:37 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Photograph the bruises and damaged areas
Get a drug test ASAP
Go to the police
Leave him
Comment by thishitisbanannas at 06/02/2025 at 03:54 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hoping to hear an update, I hope you’re okay sweetie. Please seek help from wherever you feel most comfortable - ideally a hospital. And please please please leave him. Never look back.
Comment by Less_Representative7 at 06/02/2025 at 00:53 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hi, I second everyone here. Another thing, you are barely even legal. I am 18 as well and we are practically children still. Your boyfriend is 26, he’s been drinking age for five years you aren’t even allowed to drink legally yet. This isn’t an appropriate relationship, everything aside.
Nothing relating to this is your fault and I am so sorry. It’s very hard to recognize what’s really happening, let alone get out of a relationship like this.
Comment by ContourNova at 05/02/2025 at 23:39 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
did he smoke it too or just you? i’m so sorry, if you’re up for it please make your way to a hospital if you can