I just want to fucking play Call of Duty on my day off

2023-06-19 | @Acidus

Me: I finally get to play this brand new copy of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 on my day off

Me: [Puts disc into PS5 and clicks play]

PS5: MUST INSTALL UPDATE FOR THIS APPLICATION FIRST

Me: ok

PS5: IT'S 63 GB

Me: ... really? ... I mean, ok, install I guess

PS5: LOG INTO PSN NETWORK TO PROCEED

Me: I just want to play Call of Duty on my day off

PS5: LOG INTO PSN NETWORK TO PROCEED

Me: [Goes and tracks down PSN user/pass]

Me: [Types in user/pass]

PS5: AGREE TO OUR UPDATED TERMS OF SERVICE TO PROCEED

Me: ... ok

PS5: YOU MUST SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF LEGAL AGREEMENT BEFORE "ACCEPT" IS AVAILABLE

Me: ... [scrolling] ... [scrolling] ... [scrolling] ... [Accept]

PS5: AGREE TO OUR UPDATED PRIVACY POLICY TO PROCEED

Me: seriously? ok...

PS5: YOU MUST SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF LEGAL AGRE...

Me: I know I know! Fuck it! [scrolling] ... [scrolling] ... [scrolling] ... [Accept]

PS5: LET'S REVIEW YOUR ACCOUNT SETTINGS AND FRIENDS LIST

Me: [clicks "do this later"]

PS5: LET'S SETUP TWO FACTOR OPTIONS

Me: I just want to play Call of Duty on my day off!

PS5: [Unflinching, Uncaring stare]

Me: for the love of... [clicks "do this later"]

PS5: REVIEW THESE APPS TO INSTALL. I'VE ALREADY CHECKED THE BOXES THAT YOU WANT THEM.

Me: I don't need yet another way to watch Netflix and HBO Max

PS5: IT'S JUST CALLED "MAX" NOW, FOR SOME REASON.

Me: GO THE FUCK AWAY! [clicks "do this later"]

PS5: DOWNLOADING UPDATE... 80 KB... 190 KB... ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING... 4 HOURS

Me: WTF? I have a gigabit fiber connection!

PS5: 440 KB... 690 KB...

Me: [Activates rest mode on PS5]

[Several hours later]

Me: [turns on PS5, starts Call of Duty]

PS5: STARTING CALL OF DUTY WARZONE 2.0. IT'S A FREE-TO-PLAY BATTLE ROYALE!

Me: No, I just want to play Call of Duty Modern Warface 2, the game, on my day off.

PS5: ... ...

Me: you know, the campaign?

PS5: MUST DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL CAMPAIGN PACK TO PLAY CAMPAIGN.

Me: Wait, what did you download before?

PS5: CALL OF DUTY WARZONE 2.0

Me: I paid US dollars, for a game, called Call of Duty Modern Warefare 2. It says so on the disc. I put that disc into you, and before I could do anything, you said I had to download something

PS5: CORRECT

Me: And that something was *not* an update for the game I purchased

PS5: CORRECT

Me: And to play the game I actually bought, you now need to download something else?

PS5: CORRECT

Me: I JUST WANT TO FUCKING PLAY CALL OF DUTY MODERN WARFARE 2 ON MY DAY OFF!

PS5: BEGINNING DOWNLOAD OF "FULL INSTALL CAMPAIGN PACK" (24 GB) .... 80 KB ... 190 KB...

Me: [Activates rest mode on PS5]

Me: [Starts cleaning in the basement]