19 January 2021

Starting my journal, so days don't just go by

Yesterday, I decided once again to start a journal/diary, but this time with a different approach. Since I'm too lazy, forcing myself to write long entries ends up in failure to keep up, and I stop writing and forget about it. This time, length doesn't matter as long as I mention the most relevant events, thoughts and feelings of each day, with any level of detail. It shouldn't be a hassle or a responsibility, but rather a way to express myself and keep track of my mental health and progress, so days don't just go by forgotten and insignificant, purposeless.

My mental health sucks, and sucks even more not being able to tell whether it's improving or worsening. It sucks that days feel meaningless, thoughts and feelings evaporate, and the small achievements that bring me joy are quickly forgotten. This journal is my approach to get a sense of purpose day by day.

Guess what software am I using to write, manage and sync my journal? ed(1)? No. Emacs? No. Google Keep? Obviously no. Syncthing? Cool, but no. My journal is physical, paper-based, offline. I wanted to keep it simple and stupid, expressive, I want to feel my hands moving, ink flowing. I need to connect with my writing directly, without technology in the way. Since the pandemic forced schools to go online, I stopped writing in paper, I have lost connection with my handwriting. It's time to get my hands off the keyboard at least for a moment.