* . * . *
*
* . * . . *
. *
. . * *
there are some benefits to this situation, I suppose...
the heat of the day and the loneliness reminds me of my Malice Mizer days, my gothic lolita days, my Tokyo Babylon days...a horrifically beautiful little bubble of a world I grew around myself, how my love for "her" swelled and overflowed, even though I knew she would never feel anything at all for me, whirling in black and lace and heeled mary-janes, an adopted city, a bright light, all that hope...
god, there is no drug worse than hope. none. once you get a taste for that shit, you're gone. you need it all the time. gimme that dopamine rush, baby. show me a future. show me a tomorrow.
I yearn so much for that feeling. that, and connection. knowing I am beloved to someone. making sure that they know how beloved they are to me. not necessarily romantic, but love. love love LOVE. swelling with love like an overripe strawberry. tender and ferocious. snarling little foxling. always snarling. always wanting, wanting, wanting...
what to do with all this love locked inside a heart bordered with scar tissue and memories?
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄⋆⋅⋆✿⋆⋅⋆⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧