(usually I'm rather upbeat)
I really felt alone today. I haven't felt this intensely alone since the middle of 2020, that is, during whatever passed for a """lockdown""" here. It was like the meme: "my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined."
It's all FOMO, driven by comparison and envy. I hope I can make a good beginning against it during Great Lent.
And no, I'm not going to sign up for a dating app. I'm not interested in industrialized relationship-generation. It's really tempting, but I know it's not worth it (right now, we'll see later. 🤷)
Perhaps I'm trying to rush things, just check boxes and get things that I think I need to do, done. Some of my friends are my age and already married with kids (greetz to borjomidrinker). My own inexperience is driving me to want something that I'm most probably not mature enough to handle yet, like wanting to lift more than I'm ready for.
I hate how this feels. May God give me strength.
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caustic.talus.0q (at) icloud.com
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