I have a Gmail account. I signed up early enough to get my name as an email address at Gmail. But I never use it for anything, so by default, anything that arrives there is either spam or misaddressed. I will occasionally check it, and I found two emails from one Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX. The first one:
From: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX> (an address from a Tennessee school)
To: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>, (and other addresses to the same Tennesee school, I checked)
Subject: IMPORTANT DEVICE INFORMATION (Waiver)
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2023 15:51:00 -0500
> Parents/Guardians:
Please check your child's Power School account to see if your child has a hold due to a damaged, stolen or lost device. If your child has a damaged, lost, stolen device, you may be eligible to fill out a waiver to allow your child to get a device for no charge.
-The waiver is limited to devices only. Keyboards, cases and chargers are not covered.
If you have already filled out a waiver, or your child's device has been returned to school in good working condition, please disregard this message.
Thursday, February 23, 2023, is our Black History Program. You will be allowed to fill out the waiver after each program (morning or afternoon show).
**Part of the waiver agreement requires you to have custody of your child as shown in Power School, provide a valid ID, and be prepared to watch a short 2.5-minute video at the time of completing the waiver. **
Morning show is at: 9:15 am > Afternoon show is at: 2:00pm
Thank you 🙂
[School Logo]
Trudy XXXXXXXXXXXXX > School Counselor > XXXXXXXXXX Elementary > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX > Memphis, TN 38116 > 901-XXXXXXXX (School) > 901-XXXXXXX (Fax) > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Every child deserves to be a champion: an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists they become the best they can possibly be"-Rita Pierson
Together, we MUST BELIEVE.
Together, we WILL ACHIEVE.
Together, we ARE REIMAGINING 901!
Does the Sean Conner who lives in Tennesee not know his own Gmail address? I always wonder about that. But regardless, I decided to reply with a bit of surrealism.
From: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>
To: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
Subject: IMPORTANT DEVICE INFORMATION (Waiver)
Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2023 14:48:00 -0500
> One question I have is—what do I do if I don't have a child? The device is fine, but I don't have a kid that uses it. Do I still need a waiver?
The second question I have is—why is my non-existent child enrolled in a school in Tennessee when I live in Florida?
Thank you.
I expected no reply, or maybe a reply like “Sorry to have bothered you.” What I did not expect was this reply:
From: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
To: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: EXTERNAL - Re: IMPORTANT DEVICE INFORMATION (Waiver)
Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2023 14:55:00 -0500
> Hello,
If you have device that belongs to XXXXXX County Schools, we will need to arrange a way to get the device back or you will need to pay for the device.
You cannot get a waiver if your child no longer attends XXXX
Do you know if you are listed as a contact for a relative of step child who attends XXXXXXXXXX Elementary? If so what are the names?
You will need to contact the parents/ guardians and ask them to remove you from their child’s contact.
I hope that I was able to assist you
Sent from Mail for Windows
What? My email was taken seriously? Am I being trolled? Who is trolling who?
Wow.
So anyway, the other email I received from Trudy (I mean, aside from the reply I received for the first email) was this one about current attentance policies:
From: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
To: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>, (and other addresses to the same Tennesee school, I checked)
Subject: School Wide Attendance/Chronic Absence IMPORTANT
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2023 17:42:00 -0500
> Greetings XXXXXXXXXX Family!
Last week we had two great days of overall school attendance, however two days is just not enough. Please make sure that you are sending your child to school every day and on time. Please review the attendance policy about excused absences. **Moving forward, we will adhere strictly to the attendance policy when excusing absences.**
**Attendance and Excuses (Policy #6014) The XXXXXX County Board of Education believes that regular attendance is a necessary requirement of all students. All students are expected to attend school on each day that school is officially in session and remain at school for the entirety of the school day. Only the following reasons will be considered for excused absences:**
> * 1. Illness, injury, pregnancy, homebound circumstance, or hospitalization of student. The District may require a parent conference and/or physician verification to justify absences after the accumulation of ten (10) days of absence during a school year. Notes must be date specific and will be required for subsequent absences beyond ten (10) days.
* 2. Death or serious illness within the student's immediate family.
* 3. When the student is officially representing the school in a school sponsored activity or attendance at school-endorsed activities and verified college visits.
* 4. Special and recognized religious holidays regularly observed by persons of their faith. Any student who misses a class or day of school because of the observance of a day set aside as sacred by a recognized religious denomination of which the student is a member or adherent, where such religion calls for special observances of such day, shall have the absence from that school day or class excused and shall be entitled to make up any school work missed without the imposition of any penalty because of the absence.
* 5. A court order; a subpoena; and/or a legal court summons.
* 6. Extenuating circumstances over which the student has no control as approved by the principal.
* 7. **If a student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student is a member of the United States Armed Forces, including a member of a state National Guard or a Reserve component called to federal active duty, the student's Principal shall give the student:** a. An excused absence for one (1) day when the student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student is deployed; b. An additional excused absence for one (1) day when the student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student returns from deployment; and c. Excused absences for up to ten (10) days for visitation when the student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student is granted rest and recuperation leave and is stationed out of the country. d. Excused absences for up to ten (10) days cumulatively within the school year for visitation during the deployment cycle of the student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student. Total excused absences under this section (c) and (d) shall not exceed a total of ten (10) days within the school year. The student shall provide documentation to the school as proof of the deployment of the student's parent, custodian or other person with legal custody or control of the student.
* 8. **Participation in a non-school-sponsored extracurricular activity. A school principal or the principal's designee may excuse a student from school attendance to participate in a non-school-sponsored extracurricular activity, if the following conditions are met:** (1) The student provides documentation to the school as proof of the student's participation in the non-school-sponsored extracurricular activity; and (2) The student's parent, custodian, or other person with legal custody or control of the student, prior to the extracurricular activity, submits to the principal or the principal's designee a written request for the excused absence. The written request shall be submitted no later than seven (7) business days prior to the student's absence.
**The written request shall include:**
> * 1. The student's full name and personal identification number;
* 2. The student's grade;
* 3. The dates of the student's absence;
* 4. The reason for the student's absence; and
* 5. The signature of both the student and the student's parent, custodian, or other person with legal custody or control of the student. The principal or the principal's designee shall approve, in writing, the student's participation in the non-school-sponsored extracurricular activity. The principal may limit the number and duration of non-school-sponsored extracurricular activities for which excused absences may be granted to a student during the school year; however, such the principal shall excuse no more than ten (10) absences each school year for students participating in non-school-sponsored extracurricular activities. Students receiving an excused absence under this section shall have the opportunity to make up school work missed and shall not have their class grades adversely affected for lack of class attendance or class participation due to the excused absence.
**A written statement within two (2) school days of the student's return to school shall be required from the parent or guardian explaining the reason for each absence. If necessary, verification is required from an official source to justify absences. All absences other than those outlined above shall be considered unexcused. **
[School Logo] Trudy XXXXXXXXXXXXX > School Counselor > XXXXXXXXXX Elementary > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX > Memphis, TN 38116 > 901-XXXXXXXX (School) > 901-XXXXXXX (Fax) > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Every child deserves to be a champion: an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists they become the best they can possibly be"-Rita Pierson
Together, we MUST BELIEVE.
Together, we WILL ACHIEVE.
Together, we ARE REIMAGINING 901!
One thing stood out to me—the family name given in the greeting doesn't match my family name, nor does it match any of the family names of any of the other recipients on the email. Otherwise, much like the first email, I have to wonder why I'm receiving this. So I decided to reply to this one with a bit more sarcasm:
From: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>
To: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
Subject: School Wide Attendance/Chronic Absence IMPORTANT
Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2023 14:55:00 -0500
> I must say, it appears that excused absences got more lenient over the years since I was in school. Back when I was in school, excused absences were only allowed with a 10 day prior notice, or appropriate documentation from a doctor, law enforcement officer, or pardon from the governor. What is it with these weak policies towards absences? This is intolerable for my non-existent child in a school three states away!
Here, I expected Trudy to clue in—I mean, “pardon from the governor?” Who ever heard of such a policy for a school? But again, not to be outdone, I got this back from Trudy:
From: Trudy XXXXXXXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
To: Sean Conner <sean.conner@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: EXTERNAL - Re: School Wide Attendance/Chronic Absence IMPORTANT
Date: Web, 1 Mar 2023 14:57:00 -0500
> Thank you for your concern, please make sure that you have withdrawn your child from XXXX.
Thank you
Sent from Mail for Windows
…
I … I have no words.
What have I gotten myself into?
A few more emails exchanged, and Trudy and I have straightened things out.