at work, i'm starting to understand our product more and what exactly it does for the people who use it. i'm thinking we re-organize the brand architecture around:

- 1, tools for planning

- 2, tools for executing day-to-day

- 3, tools for financing

and we call it [company] plan, [] execute, [] finance.

simpler architecture.

as far as how those features are navigated in the product, i'm not sure. i have little say over that, so i'm just worried about how we communicate it to customers.

should we have little icons for each of those tools? do we just add it to the end of the company name? are they named as their own products? (i don't think so. it's important we brand the entire suite of tools under one product because they all serve the same overarching use.)

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r.s. showed up in new york and stopped by the office. we caught up on a walk and then went to get food at shake shack at madison square park. he's at yale, seems very pleased, meeting lots of interesting people. i struggle to appear un-alone, even though i always am.

should have gone to college.

that's how social wealth, and then real wealth, seems to be built.

he's talking to a girl who works at nasa full-time, for example. i've only met students who are "interested in fashion / musical theatre."

nothing wrong with the arts. i love the arts. but damn.

we stopped by an event downtown with a bunch of young people (20-25(?)) who are a part of this venture capital...thing. i don't quite understand that world.

r.s. must be a millionaire. he's been working for many years now at this blockchain company that is now in the top 10 coins in the world. it's insane. the money he throws around is probably unimaginable.

similarly, a lot of people in this young v.c. room have no real concept of money. this is the hyper-financialization of the united states. money is just a game at this point.

nonetheless, i have most of what i could possibly want: a $13,000 camera, a chill apartment in the east village, a new macbook pro 14" (!) and iphone 13 pro on the way from apple. i've got marketable skills and a job.

the only thing i haven't is friends, and love.

i spent the time after the event walking and wondering if the 11 floors above the ground at the office would be enough to kill me if i jumped. out of paranoia, i didn't look it up, because i'm afraid that google will somehow track me if i do.

on great jones street, i met two girls, one who lives here in the city with her boyfriend in stuytown. the other is her cousin from charleston, south carolina, visiting to figure out if she wants to live in new york, or somewhere else after graduating.

choices, choices.

my choices wouldn't make any difference. i know few people and the few people who know me don't find me significant.

o.f. called while i was at that event, and i told her to think for a while, write me, and then we can talk about things. she doesn't know what she wants, but still wants me somehow, and the whole thing seems pointless. i'm facing the reality that perhaps i am too odd for her, flawed, but still intriguing enough that she'd like to keep me around. i hate that in-between state of being too good to get rid of and not good enough to be worth it. she needs something simpler.

i mumbled under my breath while walking all sorts of hypotheticals around my death. "he killed himself." what would that sound like?

i'd need to make sure all my writings are sent to a proper person, with passwords documented in a note.

this is just morbidity. i'm writing this the morning after, and rest assured, i feel relatively okay, more excited to be alive now that the saturday sun is out.

cheers, if you can hear them.