The powerlessness when reading the news makes me think that perhaps I need to read even less news, shut it all out.
I also find a new appreciation for all of my ancestors who bore children and raised them even though their world seems like a hellscape compared to what I'm seeing.
Sometimes I wish I could just go to church and sing and pray and it would all be good again. Except it don't believe in it.
So all I have is plants and animals to care for. In a somewhat unhealthy (?) relationship with life around me I find that I put plants where they need me to water them, and find solace in the fact that they at least are unperturbed by everything and are just happy for me to be there and tend them. It feels a bit like an artificial dependent relationship so I dunno, it's weird.
When I see happy dogs and their owners I keep thinking that a dog that's so happy to see me, to fetch that ball, to for that walk, this happiness is real, and they are grounded in life and the present moment.
I want back this ignorant bliss of childhood, some days.
I have no illusions. While I grew up, Iran and Iraq were at war; the Moçambique and Angolan wars of independence turned into civil wars; Yugoslavia fell apart in civil war. Those are the conflicts I remember, in any case. Life and the news wasn't great. I just didn't know.
#Life