It’s late, my wife has to go to the office tomorrow and so we should go to bed early but I don’t waaaaaaannnagooooo…
@lmorchard was talking about the difficulty of finding new friends and taking hobbies more seriously, and @craigmaloney was replying to say that most hobbies seem to have a half-life of 2–4 weeks for them, and I feel that so much. Painting miniatures? Making music? Painting pictures? Yesh, a bit… but not really.
Sometimes I feel that most stuff simply is boring. I am not diagnosed with anything, but I find most people boring, most hobbies boring, most work boring… Finding stuff that keeps me focused is super hard. Finding friends that have interesting things to say is hard. The question is: do I suffer from low density attention deficit, or is the world simply ruled by boring stuff: boring books, boring jobs, boring talks, boring hobbies being sold to us as interesting but … nope. It almost never is.
Instead, role-playing games are games were we can experience a very large part of the other players. It’s good for my monkey brain. At work, I like meetings with clients, I like new projects, new industries. The programming is boring. It’s people and their mannerisms, their problems, their weirdness, that is the spice of life.
When I’m talking to people I hate the shitpost attempts at humour. If these people have nothing interesting to say, I’d rather read the newspaper during coffee breaks. Of course, now they all think I’m weird and I think they’re boring, so it’s not exactly great, but it works out well enough most of the time. And like with all the other things at the job: if the people aren’t interesting for more than a year, I can always switch projects and find new people, so it does work in a way.
I still wonder what counts as normal, though. Some people seem to have an uncanny ability to focus on the boring stuff. I envy them when I need to finish boring stuff, but I also shake my head when I hear about their boring hobbies, so I don’t know.
I guess I’m just both inattentive and arrogant‽ 🤔
#Life
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Boredom is one of those things that is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
I miss having physical friends, it has been many years (12+; since I moved to England). Yes, I have made new friends online, and I have kept some of them (for over 20 years in some cases); but there’s something different when you are in the same room enjoying some “boring” conversation over a coffee.
What I’m trying to say is that perhaps what you find boring, it is boring. And sometimes that’s OK (see: friends).
– jjm 2022-08-05 17:28 UTC
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I need to get better at making and keeping friends, that’s for sure.
– Alex 2022-08-05 17:57 UTC
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I think for a hobby or a job to be interesting, it needs some kind of feedback loop: Either it is challenging and/or there is some uncertainty and risk involved. If it’s just piling up bricks, moving papers from the inbox to the outbox or maybe writing up code, it’s a grind and inherently boring.
I get never bored of financial markets, because situations are constantly evolving, you have to try to predict to future for companies, commodities or countries, take a bet and get rewarded or punished.
I like RPGs because there is also uncertainty, even for the DM: What will the players try to do? And how will the dice fall? Pure narrative story telling turned out to be a big bore for me.
I even painted 40k miniatures for a few years. Not because of the act of painting, although there are some aspects of flow in it, but because of the tabletop game: How will your newly painted minis fare in the next battle?
Playing the piano on the other hand is challenging. The start is relatively easy but it soon becomes fiendishly complex and difficult. So you try to get better, try new methods to learn pieces etc. But it’s probably more like challenging mental excersizing, not a real hobby per se. I usually don’t do it for more than 20 or 30 minutes a day as I get exhausted.
A lot of other stuff also bores me quickly. I can barely read fiction books or watch movies anymore, all too predictable. I used to read a lot about history, but even that bores me to some extend as I barely find new or interesting approaches.
I find talking to people not boring as long as they have something they are passionate about or some original thoughts and opinions. If they just do small talk or reproduce “common knowledge”, politically correct opinions, old sayings or jokes, I get quickly bored as well. My professional bane are all the wealth managers that just like to talk about golf, wines, sportscars and real estate... but there are also some very smart and interesting people in the financial industry.
– Peter 2022-08-05 21:44 UTC
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The aspect of uncertainty and risk is interesting. After all, meeting new clients where you want something from them is just that. You want something, they want something.
I also agree with the predictability of so many books. I usually stop reading half way through out of a vague sense that I have read all the author had to say and don’t expect any new ideas.
My current approach to music is very chill: I have no big expectations and no challenges, I do it more for the flow state, late at night. Being able to wear headphones is a boon.
– Alex 2022-08-06 10:26 UTC