From some toots of mine on the topic of conversations, in conversations with @deshipu, @ckeen, @saper, @loke, @skalman, and others.
Some people are weird. Somebody posts “I really love X and have been using X for many years”. Half the people replying: “Have you tried Y? I’m really happy with Y!”
What kind of conversation is that? What is the expected outcome? “No” – “Well, you should?” – “But I just said how I’ve been using X for years!” – “But I’m happy with Y! You should try it!” – I could go on. Don’t do this.
What if you think X is *objectively* worse?
The person is telling you that they love it and that they have been using it for many years. At least tell them that you also used it, and it was bad because of a list of reasons which you then provide, and recommend an alternatives, and provide a list of benefits. That is minimal viable response on this track, I think.
It also depends on whether *change* is a goal of conversation. There are of course many other reasons for conversation.
As a teenager I started calling this “conversations to learn about things” (um etwas zu lernen) and “conversations to learn about each other” (um sich kennen zu lernen). I really had to learn the difference because I was getting it wrong often enough.
I keep thinking of some esoteric trivia I once heard: helping other people only ever works if they ask for it. Extending this to other kinds of situations helps me navigate the “unwelcome advice” problem people sometimes experience. It was also good advice for me in my relationship, haha. 😅
Anyway. I’ve become very careful (or anxious?) about jumping into conversations with strangers. If it looks like they might be venting, for example, that’s an instant red flag. I think it’s a legitimate use of the platform but it’s on us to read the bird flights and goat entrails, however. 😇
#Social Media