2015-11-19 Being a Man

Travis Scott said on Google+: “It’s International Men’s Day, which is a time I like to reflect on the positive things about masculinity, being a man, and having men in our lives. I’d like to hear all kinds of perspectives, with this additional challenge: say it with honesty and without snark. Dig deep and tell us what you appreciate about men and masculinity!”

on Google+

I said: My father, good male friends – the thing I like about male culture is that it is acceptable to enjoy physical activity with no talking. We can meet and play or hike or ride a bike or run, and we might talk, or not talk, or talk nonsense, but the shared activity in itself communicates well being, harmony, lack of conflict, sympathy, joy of life, appreciation, encouragement, inner peace. I love that.

As for masculinity these days, and where I am these days, I’m happy to notice that there are not a lot of expectations imposed on my masculinity that I notice. I can work part time, I can cook and clean the house, my wife can work full time, my wife can drive the car, we can have no kids, I don’t need to be smarter, I don’t need to make all the decisions, I don’t need to plan our holidays, I don’t need to have any mechanical skills, I don’t have to drive a car, I don’t need to play team sports involving a ball, I don’t need to laugh at awkward jokes. I am at peace with being a man.

When a friend has left, Claudia might asks, “How is he?” I’ll answer, “He’s doing OK.” She’ll ask, “What did he say?” I’ll say, “Not much.” Incredulous, she’ll ask, “Didn’t you ask?” I’ll say, “No, of course not.” She’ll shake her head and laugh. But I’ll know that in that moment, when we did things, in that moment of *doing*, there was no need for words. There was no need to talk about our feelings because our feelings were inscribed into our grinning, our yelling, our waving of controllers, our jumping up and our little victory dances... It was a timeless moment of joy.

​#Philosophy

Comments

(Please contact me if you want to remove your comment.)

genau sooooooo.... Es ist fürchterlich 😒 Warum sind männer nur auf wortlose kommunikation geeicht??? 😃

– mum 2015-11-20 18:18 UTC

---

Das ist doch wahre Harmonie, ohne Mediation über das Wort. Das ist Frieden und Empathie durch direkte Handlung, jenseits aller Kultur, ohne Verbalisierung, ohne Rationalisierung. Diese Kongruenz von Körper und Geist, diese Einheit von Welt und Selbst, das Erlebnis von Sein an sich, unreflektiert in Worten, wenn überhaupt, dann nur in der Bewegung, der Physik von Körper und Welt, das zu verstehen, zu schätzen, zu pflegen – das ist *Erleuchtung*. Wortlose Erleuchtung. 😉

– Alex Schroeder 2015-11-20 21:29 UTC

---

This is beautiful! I like it when someone puts into words what I’ve felt many times but never said. 😄

– Enzo 2015-11-23 09:09 UTC